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3 great untruths to stop telling kids—and ourselves

3个不能再对孩子和我们自己讲的弥天大谎



乔纳森·海特是纽约大学斯特恩商学院托马斯·库利道德领导力教授。他是《正确的头脑》和《幸福假设》两本书的作者。

JONATHAN HAIDT: So my first book, 'The Happiness Hypothesis', was a collection of ten insights from sages around the world that were psychological truths, and one of them is: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That gets at the idea, the psychological principle, of anti-fragility. It's a wonderful term. It's actually a clunky, ugly term, but it was made up by Nassim Taleb because we don't have a word for this in the English language, which is that there's some systems that get stronger if they get pushed around, knocked around.

乔纳森.海特: 我的第一本书《幸福假设》收集了出自世界各地先贤们关于心理真相的10条深刻见解,其中1条说到:那些杀不死你的事情会让你更加强大。(注:貌似出自尼采) 这句话揭示了一个理念,一个心理学上的原则,那就是反脆弱。这是一个很有意思的术语。实际上它也是一个沉重的、丑恶的术语,这个术语是由纳西姆•塔勒布创造的,在其之前,英语中还没有一个词汇来描述这层意思,即一个系统处境越困难,受到的打击越大,他就会变得越加强大。

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The next untruth is "Always trust your feelings". It may sound wise, it may sound romantic, but wise people around the world have noticed that we don't react to the world as it actually is, we react to the constructions, the perceptions. Epictetus said, "It is not things themselves that disturb us, but our interpretations of things." This is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy.

第二大谎言是“要相信你的感受”。这句话听起来即明智又浪漫,但是全世界的聪明人都知道。我们对世界的反应并非出自于真相,而是来自于我们的对世界认知的架构,来自于我们的观念。埃皮克提图曾说过:“世界上的事物并没有打扰我们,打扰我们的是我们自己对事物的认知。” 这是认知行为疗法的基础。

Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist in the 1960s, noticed that depressed and anxious people have a way of constructing these beliefs that, "I'm bad, the future is bad, the world is a bad place," and they're mutually reinforcing. And this is the way the world feels to them, and if you can improve their thinking and break up those beliefs, they're released from the depression. What we've begun seeing on campus is that students are encouraged to follow their feelings; if they feel offended by something then they have been attacked. They're supposed to not question those feelings. But part of wisdom is the ability to say, "Now, wait a second, are there other ways to look at this?"

亚伦贝克,一位上世纪60年代的心理学家,发现沮丧和焦虑的人通常在心中建构这样的观念:“我不好,我的未来也不会好,这个世界太糟了。”而这种观念和他们的沮丧、焦虑情绪相互强化。这就是他们对世界感受的方式,如果能够改进他们的思维并破除他们这种观念,他们就能从抑郁中解脱。 我们在学园中看到的情况是,学生们被鼓励遵循自己的感受;如果他们觉得受到冒犯,他们就认为是别人攻击了他们。他们被教导不要去质疑自己的感受。但是真正的智慧是有能力说出“现在,先等一下,还有没有其他的角度看待这个问题?”

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The bottom line is that there are some very basic important psychological principles. If we're going to raise kids and educate them and bring them through schools and universities, we should get our institutions in line with these principles. They are: Children are anti-fragile, we are all prone to motivated reasoning and the confirmation bias, and we're all prone to tribalism and black and white thinking. We need to be educating kids so that they do less of this stuff. If we want to raise a generation of kids who can deal with diversity of all kinds, who can go out into a world that's physically actually quite safe and yet full of offensive content, we need to get our educational practices in line with these three psychological principles, not with these three great untruths.

本质在于存在着一些最基本的也是十分重要的心理学原则。如果我们打算在学校中培养教育我们的孩子,让他们长大成人;那我们就必须要让我们的教育机构符合这些原则。这些原则就是: 孩子们有反脆弱性;我们都应该鼓励去质疑和验证那些偏见;并且我们天然就存在民族性的差异,黑人和白人之间有着不同的思维。我们必须把这些原则教给孩子们,不要让他们对此一无所知。如果我们想把下一代培育成能够适应文化的多样性,能够适应这个事实上很安全但是又充满着冒犯性的言论的世界,我们就必须让我们的教育措施符合这三条心理学原则,而不是那三条弥天大谎。