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[原创-美国] 你有后悔过背叛你的老公吗

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发表于 2019-3-8 14:58:10 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 龙腾网翻译版务 于 2019-3-11 11:07 编辑


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原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译:小小的船 转载请注明出处
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Have you ever cheated on your husband without regretting it?

你后悔过背叛你的老公吗 ?



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原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译:小小的船 转载请注明出处
论坛地址:http://www.ltaaa.com/bbs/thread-484514-1-1.html

Jane Smith
I cheated on my husband once. He totally didn't deserve it. Luckily I was never found out. I am suffering for it though, as my ‘lover’ soon tired of the game - so I finished it - realising (too late) that my feelings towards him weren't reciprocated. Serves me right for being foolish enough to stray into infidelity.Do I regret cheating? Yes, but only because the aftermath of my failed romance? hurts me like hell.No, I don't regret cheating on my husband because he never knew and was therefore never hurt by it. If he ever found out, it would have course been a different story.I had no justifiable reason to cheat. I wish I knew why I took the opportunity when it presented itself.Edit : October 2018I am adding to my answer as I still continue to receive abusive messages and comments - the most recent one accusing me of ‘glorifying’ cheating! (I’m not).My affair was a one off, and no, I still don’t regret it. I don’t not regret it (as some people assume) just because it wasn’t discovered.Whilst I am rather ashamed at my lack of integrity, I don’t regret having an affair as I believe that it has breathed life into my marriage. I am far less complacent in my relationship with my husband now that I realise what could have been lost. The lessons I have learned have ensured that I make certain that we make time and effort to do more together and have fun - together - despite the sometimes mundane constraints of everyday life. It would have been the worst outcome (for my husband) had he discovered my betrayal. It would hurt him deeply, which I never want. I believe that he may have forgiven me eventually... but he would never have been able to forget. I don’t wish that burden on him. My concern is for him - less so myself.Affairs aren’t black or white. Unless you are in the situation you have little real understanding of it. I would NEVER have believed that I was capable of cheating, but I did and now that I have done, it is about damage limitation. I have suffered (I thought) with a broken heart and deservedly so. I don’t want my husband to suffer from my actions, I hope he continues to live in happy oblivion - with a happier (and more grateful) wife these days.Affairs aren’t necessarily all about sex like is often portrayed in the movies. Somebody once recommended that I listen to ‘Rethinking Infidelity’ a Ted talk by Esther Perel. It really resonated with me.

回答一:
我背叛过我的丈夫。这完全不是他应得的。
幸运的是我没有被发现。但我为此感到痛苦,
因为我的“(婚外)情人”很快就不和我玩下去——所以我也不玩了——我对他的感情没有得到回应,我意识到这一点(太晚了),真是活该,我竟然愚蠢到误入歧途.

你问我后悔了吗 ? 是的,我后悔了,不过我只是后悔我的外遇感情没有得到回报.
真是疼死我了.

是的,我背叛过我的老公,但是,我从来没有后悔过,因为他从始至终都不知道。
因此他也没有受到什么伤害。
当然,如果老公知道的话,那当然是另一回事了.
我背叛老公,并没有什么正当的理由的.
我也想知道自己为什么有机会时,当时我就就想出轨,背叛老公.



我从来没有想过我会出轨,但我却出轨了.
现在事情已经成为过去了,不过,这次出轨只是“有限伤害”.
我带着一颗破碎的心去承受了那种痛苦的后果,我这是活该.
我不希望我的丈夫因为我的行为而受伤害,
我希望他能继续生活在无知的幸福中——拥有一个更幸福(也更感恩)的妻子.

婚外情并不像电影里经常描绘的那样都是关于性的。
有人曾经建议我去听Esther Perel的Ted演讲“反思不忠”。
这真的引起了我的共鸣。

Roy Martin
If I cheated on my wife, I would regret it even if she never found out. I would know that I had betrayed her and she doesn’t deserve that. I would know that I had behaved like a jerk. That’s why I wouldn’t do it. Because I couldn’t live with myself.

评论:
如果我背叛了我的妻子,即使她从未发现,我也会后悔的。
我心里会明白我背叛了她,她不应该遭受这样的背叛。
我会知道我的行为像个混蛋。
这就是为什么我不出轨,因为我慎独.

Stephen Flynn
Do I regret cheating? Yes, but only because the aftermath of my failed romance? hurts me like hell.I have to say that I respect you frankness with the above comment. It seems that all the woman who admit to cheating on these post attempt to justify their infidelities. I.e. he was cheating on me, or he was abusive!What I find cold an disturbing is your matter of fact description of only regretting the affair as a result of your lover not reciprocating feelings for you!

“我后悔了吗 ? 是的,后悔了,不过只是后悔我的外遇感情没有得到回报,疼死我了“
我不得不说,我尊重你的坦率。
似乎所有在这个帖子上承认出轨的女人都试图为自己的不忠辩解。
她们总是说:老公背叛了我,或者说他虐待我!
我觉得寒心的是:你只是后悔感情外遇没有得到回应.

Anonymous
I have had 13 affairs with women who cheated on their husbands. Only one husband found out and I stopped after he called me.Most of the women stayed married, three that I know about got a divorce.I can not be sure as why they did it. I am still friends with most of them that I am still in touch with.M I met at a conference and we ended up in bed. The affair lasted several years where we met once or twice a year at conference. We are still in touch although she is now single.V was a college friend and we had 3 encounters. She initiated. College ended and I moved away.L was my supervisor. I think she was bored with her controlling husband.C was my assistant and in a loveless and sexually unfulfilling relationship. She is still married to her husband. The affair ended when he found out and called me asking to stop. There were children involved.R was a colleague, I think she wanted to experience another man as she married young.C was bored with her husband who was nice guy but just boring. They divorced.C1 was a colleague who was bored with her controlling and mean husband.P I am not sure. We had flirted a lot and one night we did it.N we used to meet together to practice French. This led to sex.L1 was bored with her nice but unimaginative husband. I think their sex life may have been routine as she seem to want to try more sexual experiences.L2 Nice husband but there was not enough sex in their relationship.D she was on a sex rampage, screwing anyone she could. When we had sex I did not know until after that I worked with her husband who was a real nice, but quiet guy.H was a one off at a conference. She initiated.A higher sex drive than husband, low self esteem, curiosity, accidental, needing attention may all have been motivation but only they could say.

回答二:
我和13个背叛丈夫的女人有过婚外情。
只有一个丈夫发现了,他打电话给我后我就住手了.

据我所知,大多数女人都继续保持了婚姻,只有三个人离婚了.
我不知道她们为什么这样做。
我仍然和她们中的大多数人保持着联系.

M我是在一次会议上认识的,结果我们躺到床上去了,持续了好几年.
我们每年在会上见面一两次. 虽然她现在单身,但我们仍然保持联系。

V 是我大学时的朋友,我们有过三次见面,她主动的。
大学结束了,我搬走了。
L是我的上司。我想她是厌倦了她那控制欲很强的老公.

C是我的助手,她的婚姻没有爱情,性爱也没得到满足.
但是,她仍然和她的丈夫在一起。
当她的老公发现并打电话给我要求我住手时,我们就结束了,还有孩子牵涉其中。

R是我的同事,我想她结婚的时候想体验另一个男人。
C厌倦了她的丈夫,她老公是个好人,但就是很无聊。
他们离婚了。



Elizabeth Muller.
Unfortunately yes - many times.I always hesitate right before I cheat, as if considering the consequences. But I have never had any regrets during or after the actual cheating. However, I do feel guilty if I get caught, and sometimes even if I don’t.I justify it to myself by saying that we never had an explicit agreement to share things equally, and that he knew of my chocolate addiction before we got married.

回答三:
好吧,承认好了,出轨很多次!

我总是在出轨前犹豫,好像在考虑后果。
但在真正的出轨期间或之后,我从未有过任何后悔.
然而,如果我被抓住了,我会感到内疚,有时即使被抓,我也感到内疚.

我为自己辩解说,我们从来没有明确的婚姻协议(规定能做什么不能做什么)
而且,他在我们结婚之前就知道我对巧克力上瘾.

Amitabh Adhikari
If your husband did not make you sign a pre-nuptial agreement stating that you are entitled to only half of the marital chocolates, I think you are free and clear. If you live in a community property state, though, your husband does have equal ownership of those chocolates. If he decided to sue for recovery of said property, you could be in for a lot of heartache.My advice would be to be sensible and consult a lawyer about your rights. Or, act as if you have no prior knowledge of said chocolates.

评论:
如果你的丈夫没有和你签署婚前协议,声明你的婚姻的权利,
那么,我认为你是自由的.

不过,如果你住在的是(夫妻婚前财产是共同)的州,
那么,你老公就有权利了,
如果他决定提起诉讼(因为你的出轨)而要求收回财产,你可能会很心痛了.

我的建议是,你应该明智地先向律师咨询你的权利.
要不然就不要出轨.



Anonymous
Yes.In a previous relationship things were going badly, I ended up cheating and he found out and made a bad situation way worse. My cheating became all the focus and reason we broke up which in retrospect was what was needed anyway. But it was ugly and I swore I would face my problems if it ever happened again.Flash foward 10 years and I am in a happy relationship, great sex life. I was taking a night school course at my local community college. A small group of us would go out for beers after class. It became obvious that a married guy in our group was hitting on “Linda” it also came out that Linda was bi, she had a fiancé who lived on the other side of the country. She was planning to move out there permanently in 8 months. One night at the bar the married guy left first and she started to complain about how he was hitting on her and complaining how his marriage sucked. She thought he was a whiner who couldn't face his problems, was she supposed to pity fuck him, total turnoff. So I blurted out so if I said I am happily married but I want to fuck your brains out that would be fine by you ? She turned beat red but said well yes, I hate chicken shit whiny guys. You never mentioned your marriage and you seem like a very confident woman. Does that turn you on ? She said it was a total turnon. We got in her car and started making out. We had an affair, actually I thought of it just as friends with benefits for 6 months here and there. Neither one of us wanted our mates to find out so we were discreet. We didn't fall madly in love, we seemed to be friends but there was no drama or pressure to be together. She did leave forever, I missed her but never spoke to her and never felt guilty. I had my cake and ate it too or you could say I had cake and pie. Im not saying its right, I have been faithful ever since and that was over 10 years ago.

回答五:
是的。
我的前一段感情很糟糕,我最终背叛了他,被他发现了,原本脆弱的感情关系更加雪上加霜了.
我的背叛成为了所有问题的导火索,也成了我们分手的原因.

回想起来,我们出问题是必然的.
但是,那种事情很丑,我发誓,如果它再次发生的话,我会直面我的问题.

转眼10年过去了,我也重新拥有一段幸福的感情,美好的性生活。
我在当地的社区大学上夜校。
下课后我们一小群人会出去喝啤酒。



后来她确实永远离开了,我想念她,但从未和她再联系过,也从未对我们的关系感到内疚。
我家有牛排,也享受了牛排,你也可以说,我吃了牛排,又去外面吃野餐.
我不是说去吃野餐是对的,我从那以后就一直对伴侣很忠诚,那是十多年前的事了.




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发表于 2019-3-11 10:41:33 龙腾移动网页版 | 显示全部楼层
一群碧池。
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发表于 2019-3-11 15:44:50 | 显示全部楼层
这个问题有没有男性版?想看。
不太理解这种偷偷摸摸的“背叛”,坦荡一点,要么别搞,要么离婚。还是说真的“妾不如偷”,偷来的比较刺激?
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发表于 2019-3-11 16:01:08 | 显示全部楼层
碧波潭联盟
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发表于 2019-3-11 16:01:56 | 显示全部楼层
明微白羽 发表于 2019-3-11 15:44
这个问题有没有男性版?想看。
不太理解这种偷偷摸摸的“背叛”,坦荡一点,要么别搞,要么离婚。还是说真 ...

额,确实是这个样子的……
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发表于 2019-3-11 19:09:51 | 显示全部楼层
我去,龙腾惊现牛头人专贴。不过说句实在的,看看周围,熟悉的不熟悉的,朋友,朋友的朋友,不管男女,类似的事情还少了吗,大多暴露在耍朋友阶段,婚后听到的比较少。近几年更是女绯闻比男绯闻多一些,男绯闻全是些平时大家都知道比较乱来的,女绯闻全是平时看着老实的,灌点酒啥事情都倒出来了
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发表于 2019-3-11 19:18:53 | 显示全部楼层
可能出轨是代价最小的犯罪,够不上判刑,但确实能让人产生罪恶感,所以对于婚后生活平静的人来说是找刺激的最佳方式
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发表于 2019-3-11 21:42:36 | 显示全部楼层
没经验,楼下的说说你的故事
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发表于 2019-3-12 02:09:39 龙腾移动网页版 | 显示全部楼层
本人,男性,精神出轨率很高,肉体上婚后11年没有
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发表于 2019-3-12 05:58:06 | 显示全部楼层
首先定义什么叫出轨?
精神?肉体?
其次总结为什么出轨?
七年之痒?过于冲动?人性使然?
最后定义后果
家庭破碎?夫妻不合?视若无睹?蒙在鼓里?
然后讨论后悔不后悔。
没有经历这些的
不要讨论。
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发表于 2019-3-12 13:09:10 | 显示全部楼层
至少现在许多人都有出轨。
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发表于 2019-3-12 13:36:33 龙腾移动网页版 | 显示全部楼层
“这就是为什么我不出轨,因为我慎独.“
这句翻译错误。应该是”我无法独自生活“。
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