韩剧与现实： 为什么韩国人喜欢奇幻浪漫，却依然单身无子？（2）
K-drama vs Reality: Why South Koreans love fantasy romance but remain single and childless
译文简介
网友：我在道德上并不反对同居，但婚前同居者的离婚率要高于正常结婚的人。
正文翻译
K-drama vs Reality: Why South Koreans love fantasy romance but remain single and childless
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I am not morally against cohabitation but divorce rates are higher for those who cohabited before marriage than those who just get married.
我在道德上并不反对同居，但婚前同居者的离婚率要高于正常结婚的人。
I don't understand why people in comment section assume that these people are not happy and they are living their lives unfulfilled and are shallow because they are not married . ..people are projecting their own insecurities on these people ..these people trying their best to live their lives without destroying somebody's else ..that majority of people do when they are married ...fantasy is just form of entertainment ..I don't like wars but I like war movies and series
我不明白为什么评论区里的人认为这些人不幸福、生活不充实、肤浅，因为他们没有结婚......人们在把自己的不安全感投射到这些人身上......这些人在尽力生活，不破坏别人的生活......大多数人结婚后都是这样......幻想只是一种娱乐形式......我不喜欢战争，但我喜欢战争电影和系列剧。
No mention of the culture of violence and sexual violence against woman. Foregin gals should be made aware of it.
没有提到韩国的暴力文化和对妇女的性暴力，应该让外国女孩意识到这一点。
I don't like people treating this "people don't want to marry and have kids" as some huge mystery. The reasons are obvious and apparent, in big cities people are living in extremely competitive environments, where they are demanded to focus 100% on their jobs. Not to thrive, just to barely survive. There it is, mystery solved.
If you want people to have romance and children then don't treat them as robots, have a society where there is balance between work and personal life, and give them salaries that actually allow them to be mostly worry free.
我不喜欢人们把"人们不想结婚生子"当成什么天大的谜团。原因显而易见，在大城市里，人们生活在竞争异常激烈的环境中，被要求百分之百地专注于自己的工作。他们不求大富大贵，但求勉强生存。就这样，谜团解开了。
如果你想让人们拥有浪漫和孩子，那么就不要把他们当成机器人，要有一个工作和个人生活平衡的社会，给他们的薪水要能让他们真正无忧无虑。
K-dramas thrive on feelings and emotion. They offer an escape. They won’t do well if they become too real.
韩剧以感情和情绪为主题，它们提供了一种逃避的选择。如果它们变得太真实，就不会有好的效果。
The young Koreans are doing the right thing. Especially the women who of course want to have the same freedom that men have, when it comes to work, sex, traveling the world and other things that people want when they have the financial means.
韩国年轻人做得对。尤其是女性，她们当然希望在工作、性生活、环游世界等方面拥有和男性一样的自由。当她们有经济手段时，她们就会想要这些自由。
Men and women were never created to be the same. Otherwise our bodies and abilities would be the same. Korean women don't have mandatory conscxtion for a reason. They are not called to die for the men. It's the men who are called to die to protect the women.
男人和女人生来就不一样。否则，我们的身体和能力就会一样。韩国女性没有义务兵役制是有原因的，她们不需要为男人而死，男人才会为了保护女人而牺牲。
@KBowWow75 women must not be forced into marriages and childbirth. That's already violence.
@KBowWow75 不能强迫妇女结婚和生育，因为这已经是暴力了。
Equal Freedom? Young Korean men don't know what freedom is? Korean women have the largest purchase of luxury goods in the world, and Korean women travel more than three times more overseas than Korean men.
平等自由？韩国年轻男性不知道什么是自由？韩国女性是世界上购买奢侈品最多的国家，韩国女性出国旅游的次数是韩国男性的三倍多。
@drjordan5706 did I say anything about being less? That's just your inner thoughts coming out. We are created for our own roles. Men need women and women need men. There are things men need that women can provide wisdom and insight into, and vice versa. There are ways each gender can provide for the other complimentary.
@drjordan5706 我有说过（韩国女性地位低）吗？那只是你内心的想法。我们为自己的角色而生。男人需要女人，女人也需要男人。有些事情男人需要女人提供智慧和洞察力，反之亦然。每种性别都可以通过多种方式为另一种性别提供互补。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
A lot of SG girls from rich daddies wants to marry for instagram. What does that mean? It means they marry only to post pics of their wedding. At the UK, as a British, i met many SG girls studying at the UK desperate for white hubby. Many went after my handsome buddy and made him cost a crazy amount for her dream wedding. At the wedding, am one of his grooms men, she and her friends were mostly instagramming non stop until the end of the wedding ceremony. Then she changed completely to not give 2 sheet about the marriage. It broke my buddy. As if she wants to marry for the wedding ceremony to post on instagram and not the married journey. I feel sorry for him because of her rich daddy, she wants to be treated like a princess 24/7.
很多家里有钱新加坡女孩子都想为了Instagram而结婚。这意味着什么？这意味着他们结婚只是为了发布婚礼照片。在英国，作为一个英国人，我遇到了很多在英国留学的新加坡女孩，她们都急着找白人老公。很多人都去追我英俊的哥们，让他为她梦想中的婚礼疯狂花钱。在婚礼上，我是他的伴郎之一，她和她的朋友们一直在不停地发Instagram，直到婚礼仪式结束。然后，她就彻底变了，对婚姻不闻不问。这让我的朋友很伤心，好像她是为了在instagram上发布婚礼仪式而结婚的。我为他感到难过，因为她爸爸很有钱，她想全天候享受公主般的待遇。
Are you a new British citizen? The way you type is not typically British, it sounds more like what a Singaporean would say instead.
你是英国新公民吗？你打字的方式不像是典型的英国人，听起来更像是新加坡人会说的话。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
What does that have to do with Koreans? You’re making a racist stereotype based on something unrelated.
这跟韩国人有什么关系？你这是根据不相干的事情制造种族主义刻板印象。
There's a lot of cool things about South Korea, but it always struck me as odd when people form a picture of a country or place purely based on media. We had seen it in a big way before with Japan and anime, and now through S. Korea and kdrama/kpop. And every time people are just left disappointed.
It's ok to get an initial interest in a place through media, but please don't bet your life on that alone. Do some actual research and just go on a vacation for a week before even considering anything more. No place on earth is perfect, but we also all have different values, so it's important to match your values with a realistic picture of the place you want to be in.
虽然韩国有很多很酷的地方，但当人们纯粹根据媒体对一个国家或地方形成印象时，我总觉得很奇怪。我们以前在日本和动漫上看到过这种情况，现在又通过韩国和韩剧/韩国流行音乐看到了这种情况。每一次，人们都会失望而归。
通过媒体对一个地方产生初步的兴趣是可以的，但请不要仅凭这一点就赌上自己的人生。做一些实际调查，先去度假一周，然后再考虑其他事情。世界上没有十全十美的地方，但我们每个人都有不同的价值观，因此，重要的是要将你的价值观与你想去的地方的实际情况相匹配。
6:37 health, housing & childcare benefits are fine but promoting babies outside marriage to increase birth rate will mess up the situation even more. Korea has enough no. of abandoned babies. Adoption should be promoted instead
6:37 韩国的保健、住房和育儿福利都很好，但为了提高出生率而提倡婚外生子会把情况搞得更糟。韩国的弃婴数量已经够多了，应该提倡收养。
South Korea's birthrate is declining. The government should provide education for abandoned children.
韩国的出生率正在下降，政府应为弃婴提供教育。
Have you ever seen a kdrama about married family with kids? Offcourse not. Its always single people
你看过与有孩子的已婚家庭有关的韩剧吗？当然没有，韩剧描述的对象总是单身的。
Most of drama that starts with happy marriage ends up with either partner being a cheater or becoming one, also Korea has one of the highest divorce and suicide rates due to depression
大多数以美满婚姻为开端的电视剧，最后都以其中一方出轨或成为出轨者而告终，韩国也是离婚率和抑郁症自杀率最高的国家之一。
What the hell, there's way more actual kdramas with married family with kids you just only watch the ones made for internationals, not domestic. You only get to watch the fantasy, made for global audience ones.
管它呢，有婚姻家庭和孩子的韩国电视剧多得是，你只不过只看那些为国际观众而不是国内观众制作的电视剧罢了。你只看到了那些幻想的、为全球观众制作的电视剧。
When the camelia blooms, remarriage and desires, sky castle, Green mother's club, love (ft marriage and divorce), my unfamiliar family, young lady and gentleman, marriage contract, couple on the backtrack, Hi bye Mama! And so many again :)
《当山茶花开》、《再婚与欲望》、《天空之城》、《绿妈妈俱乐部》、《爱情（结婚与离婚）》、《我不熟悉的家庭》、《少妇与绅士》、《婚约》、《逆行夫妇》、《妈妈再见》！还有很多:)
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Something I don't see talked about a lot, but why is Seoul the only city in Korea people want to live in? Why not develop the agricultural sector so that Koreans don't live in a monolith.
我很少看到有人谈论这个问题，但为什么首尔是韩国唯一一个人们愿意居住的城市呢？为什么不发展农业部门，这样韩国人就不会生活在一个一成不变的环境中了。
Korea is a very status driven society. All forms of blue collar work are looked down upon even if they pay better. All the richest people and most prestigious entities are in Seoul, so the capital region further benefits from network effect at the cost of the rest of Korea.
韩国是一个非常注重地位的社会，所有形式的蓝领工作都被看不起，即使它们的薪水更高。所有最富有的人和最有声望的机构都在首尔，因此首都地区进一步受益于网络效应，而韩国其他地区则要为此付出代价。
I don't care where you go people are flawed and can not compete with fictional characters. These romance books and kdramas have people out here with unrealistic standards.
我不管你走到哪里，人都是有缺陷的，无法与虚构的人物相提并论。这些言情小说和韩剧让人们产生了不切实际的标准。
Everyone understandably loves the fantasy of being married to the perfect wife and having beautiful obedient children with no worries in the world.
But the reality is for majority of people, once you get married and have children - you live day to day for your children and their needs. Only people with children will feel this incredible urge to nurture and ensure the future of their offspring.
If you are childless and you don't know what you're missing - you may not feel this kind of urge.
That may be why its easy for this generation to remain single and childless - you won't miss what you never had.
这可以理解，每个人都喜欢幻想娶到完美的妻子，生下漂亮听话的孩子，无忧无虑地生活。
但现实是对于大多数人来说，一旦结婚生子，每天都要为孩子和他们的需求而生活。只有有孩子的人才会有这种不可思议的冲动，去培养和确保他们后代的未来。
如果你没有孩子，也不知道自己错过了什么，你可能就不会有这种冲动。
这也许就是为什么这一代人很容易保持单身和无子女的原因--你不会怀念你从未拥有过的东西。
Can someone explain to me why someone would prefer having children outside of marriage than in ?... Why would you make a child with someone you are not willing to marry ?
谁能给我解释一下，为什么有人宁愿婚外生子也不愿婚内生子？你为什么要和你不愿意与之结婚的人生孩子？
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Getting married in the honeymoon phase of the relationship is risky. If you want to be happy together longterm, you still have to like each other without the rose-coloured glasses. So, even though I know that South Korea is quite conservative in many ways, it sounds odd to me that living with your partner without being married is so controversial there. No wonder that so many young people avoid dating in general if they are expected to get married quickly.
在恋爱蜜月期结婚是有风险的。如果你们想长期幸福地生活在一起，就必须不带玫瑰色的眼镜去喜欢对方。因此，尽管我知道韩国在很多方面都相当保守，但在我看来，与伴侣未婚同居在韩国是如此具有争议，这听起来很奇怪。难怪很多年轻人如果希望尽快结婚，一般都会避免约会。
If some intellectuals in Korea think that having children outside of marriage is ok, then they should look at the black community in the US. Study the marriage rates between races in the 20th century when the single parent household started to dominate. US sociologists did a study and they concluded that to have a comfortable life in the US, you need to:
1) Finish high school
2) Don't have a kid before age 20
3) Don't have that kid before you are married
如果韩国的一些知识分子认为婚外生子是可以的，那么他们应该看看美国的黑人社区并研究一下20世纪单亲家庭开始占主导地位时不同种族之间的结婚率。美国社会学家曾做过一项研究，得出的结论是要想在美国过上舒适的生活，你需要：
1) 完成高中学业
2) 20岁之前不要有孩子
3）结婚前不要有孩子
I have heard dating and hookups are common there. Atleast they are getting sex unlike people of my country where a big population is Virgin and not getting sex!
我听说那里约会和勾搭很常见。至少他们有性生活，不像我的国家，很多人都是处女，连性生活都没有！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Nobody thinks Hollywood films are a reflection reality. I don't know why CNA assumes people would think otherwise about Korean entertainment. With one of the lowest press freedom in the world, it is no coincidence that this Korea hit piece is a series of attempts by state-run CNA to bash a fellow asian nation to mask Singapore's problems. Let me remind you that this kind of ill intentioned, antagonism can go both ways when more and more Koreans find out about your propapanda campaign.
没人会认为好莱坞电影是现实的反映，我不知道为什么CNA会认为人们会对韩国娱乐业有不同的看法。新加坡是世界上新闻自由程度最低的国家之一，国营的CNA的这篇抨击韩国的文章是一系列试图抨击亚洲同胞以掩盖新加坡问题的尝试，这绝非巧合。让我提醒你，当越来越多的韩国人发现你的宣传攻势时，这种居心叵测的对立可能会两败俱伤。
Eveyone think developed nation ones are the happiest..nope sk is the best example for how developed nation suffering from low fertility rate,high suicide rate among students, work hard like a animal, no time to spending for family, high cost of living...even my country ( india ) are still developing but we are the happiest one compare to south korea... hope in future, sk realise what the meaning of living....
每个人都认为发达国家的人是最幸福的......不，韩国就是一个最好的例子，说明发达国家是如何遭受低生育率、高学生自杀率、像动物一样努力工作、没有时间陪伴家人、高生活成本等问题的......甚至我的国家（印度）仍在发展中，但与韩国相比，我们是最幸福的......希望未来韩国能意识到生活的意义....。
The happiest countries on average are Skandinavian countries because of high wealth, high wealth equality, good social security, low corruption etc. People are happier if they live in a society that feels safe and fair.
平均而言，最幸福的国家是斯堪的纳维亚国家，因为这些国家拥有高财富、高财富平等、良好的社会保障、低腐败等。如果人们生活在一个感到安全和公平的社会中，他们会更幸福。
I totally agree. I don't care what the studies say. Here in the Netherlands everyone will say they are 10/10 happy, but if you read their body language it will tell a different story. Go to a place like India or the Philippines and all the people are smiling and happy all the time. It's because they have strong loving families and a meaningful life based in spirituality. Here in the west everyone is just living pointless lives striving after status.
我完全同意，我不在乎研究结果如何。在荷兰，每个人都会说自己很快乐，但如果你读读他们的肢体语言，就会发现不是那么回事。去印度或菲律宾这样的地方，所有的人都会一直微笑和快乐，这是因为他们有强大的爱的家庭和以精神为基础的有意义的生活。而在西方，每个人都在为地位而奋斗，过着毫无意义的生活。
Cause the marriage laws make marriage a dangerous game for a man to do in South Korea. You need lots of money to do and you can lose lots of your wealth if she's no longer happy with you and want a new man.
因为根据韩国婚姻法的规定，男人结婚是一件很危险的事情。你需要很多钱，如果她对你不再满意，想要换一个男人，你就会失去很多财富。
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East Asia has a completely different culture. From an early age your child is doing extra curricular activities and tutoring. Most people would rather not have children than let them start behind other children.
东亚有着完全不同的文化，那里的孩子从小就参加课外活动和请家教。所以大多数人宁愿不要孩子，也不愿意让他们落后于其他孩子。
@Umeshukitsune There is always a bell curve, no matter how bad or 'good' times are, there will always be less and more capable people, there are people who will always be left behind. People who always want to start a family (not 'it will be nice to start a family') will marry and have kids. I feel that modern societies are not more aware, they are more distracted by other 'wants' in life. It is not a bad thing, it is arrogant to think humanity has to last forever. I believe it is best to just be happy.
@Umeshukitsune 世事总有钟形曲线，无论时代多么糟糕或"好"，总会有能力更强的人和能力更弱的人，总会有人落在后面。总会有想成家的人（不是'成家就好了'）会结婚生子。我觉得，现代社会的人们并没有更清醒地认识到这一点，他们更多地被生活中的其他"愿望"所困扰。这不是坏事，但认为人类必须永远延续的想法就太自大了，我认为最好的办法就是保持快乐。
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I see a point of cohabitation if in the end it will lead to a marriage or a civil unx. Otherwise, this arrangement is lose lose for the women and the children who will be born as bastards. I’m not sure about korean law, but i just feel the bastards lack power when it comes to inheritance in many countries.
如果同居最终会导致婚姻或民事结合，我认为同居还是有意义的。否则，这种安排对妇女和孩子来说都是双输，因为孩子生下来就是私生子。我不太清楚韩国的法律，但我觉得在许多国家，私生子在继承权方面缺乏权力。
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It's better than forced marriages in many islamic countries and South Asia. That's how the TFR is high here.
As soon as the woman turns 22 they force her into a marriage even when she consistently says NO. Later Marital rape and later forced childbirth. Sexual and physical violence in marriage.
Saw that from my own eyes...
South Koreans women are luckier compared to them atleast.
这比许多伊斯兰国家和南亚的强迫婚姻要好，这就是为什么这里的离婚率很高。
（在伊斯兰国家和南亚，）女人一满22岁，他们就会强迫她结婚，即使她一直说不。之后是婚内强奸，再后来是强迫分娩......婚姻中的性暴力和身体暴力。
都是我亲眼所见......
韩国女性至少比她们幸运。
Everyone not to be forced....even forced one doesn't mean they are not happier some of them find their happiness..
每个人都不应该被强迫....，即使被强迫也不代表他们不幸福，有些人就找到了自己的幸福。
@sivaram1210 yeah because they don't have any choice so they plaster the happiness on their faces. Trust me being forced to have ßex with a man you never wanted to marry and being forced into childbirth is excruciatingly torturing sexually, physically and emotionally. Thank God my father's a kind person that I am not facing these.
@sivaram1210 是的，因为他们没有任何选择，所以他们把幸福挂在脸上。相信我，被迫与一个你从未想过要结婚的人发生性关系，被迫分娩，无论在性方面、身体方面还是情感方面都是一种折磨。感谢上帝，我的父亲是个善良的人，他没有让我面对这些。