一觉醒来发现互联网没了。你会怎么做？
You wake up tomorrow and the Internet is gone. What do you do?
译文简介
重启试试。
正文翻译
You wake up tomorrow and the Internet is gone. What do you do?
一觉醒来发现互联网没了。你会怎么做？
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Put down my phone… but then I would pick it up again to check.
把手机放一边去……但是之后我可能就又要再把手机拿起来看两眼。
Opens web browser “how to fix the intern….ahhh fuck”
打开网页浏览器：“如何修复互联……哦草”
Have you ever been without your phone for an extended period?
你有没有在比较长的一段时间内没有手机用？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我之前有三天的时间用不了手机，当时我跟人们说了不知道多少次我没有手机，但是他们之后就会说，“哦好的，没问题，那你到了之后给我发个短信就行，”然后我又不得不跟他们说，发消息也得有手机，我 没 有 手 机。
我也不能用短信验证，因为我没有手机；我打不了网约车，因为我没有手机；我没法看明天的天气，因为我没有手机；我没法在坐火车的时候进入电话会议，因为我踏马没有手机！！！！！
那是我这辈子最翻来覆去的三天，我了个天爷啊。我们真的是把手机看得太理所当然了！
Went two and a half years without a phone, maybe around 2010 or so. It was great except for the one time I ran out of gas.
我曾经有两年半的时间没用过手机，大概是2010年左右。除了有一次我车子没油了之外，总地来说都不错。
No phone in 2010 was vastly different than no phone in 2024. In 2010, I’m not even 100% sure if I had a Blackberry yet— I might have still had a flip phone at that point. As a society, we are significantly more dependent on our phones now than we were 14 years ago.
2010年没有手机用和2024年没有手机用简直是天差地别。在2010年，我甚至不知道当时我有没有黑莓手机用——可能当时我有的是翻盖手机。作为个社会整体，我们比起14年前要更加依赖于手机了。
I had a flip phone until 2018.
我直到2018年之前用的都是翻盖手机。
有了新手机之后，生活变得彻底不一样了。我感觉自己好像是终于加入了文明世界一样。
Try restarting it. That always works for electronic problems.
没网了就试试重启呢。反正电子设备问题重启总是管用。
Ah. You’re an IT guy…
啊。所以你是个搞IT的……
Everyone on Reddit is.
Reddit上的每个人都是搞IT的。
只要你想在谷歌上搜点问题，记住在后面加上个Reddit。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
This is an actual fact! I'm in an IT field and it has gotten me out of many a jam
这确实是真的！我自己就在IT领域工作，这让我走出了很多的困境。
Can confirm! Problems with my Steam Deck? Add Reddit. 3D printer's fucky? Reddit. Truck's making another weird noise? You guessed it, Reddit.
我也觉得！Steam Deck出问题了了？问问Reddit。3D打印机出问题了？Reddit。卡车又出新的怪动静了？你猜怎么着，Reddit。
I'd also play that Google dinosaur game on my phone
我可能还会在手机上玩那个谷歌小恐龙游戏。
My office is out in the boonies and management refused to get better internet, so ours goes down pretty often.
我的办公室在郊区，管理层不想给我们弄更好的网络，所以我们的网络经常掉线。
有一天老板来了，问我们屏幕上的那个最高分榜单是什么东西，我们说，“没网的时候的那个谷歌小恐龙游戏。”然后没过多长时间我们的网络就升级了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I'd miss reddit for about a week, Wikipedia forever.
我可能会怀念reddit一星期，但我会怀念维基百科一辈子。
Finally my DVD collection will reign supreme
我的DVD收藏终于找到用武之地了。
And everyone thinks we're dumb for collecting the hard copies... Our days will come!
那帮笨蛋还觉得我们收集这些硬拷贝是没事儿闲的……属于我们的日子终将到来！
I haven't had dvd's in yeeeeears, but recently I canceled all my streaming services, bought a Blu-Ray player and started picking up dvd/blu-ray at thrift stores around town (and the CD Exchange down the street from me).
我已经好几年没买过DVD了，但是最近我取消了所有的视频订阅服务，买了个蓝光播放器，开始在城里的各大二手店（以及街那头的CD交换店）买DVD和蓝光碟。
现在我只看我买的那些电影，在丰富自己的实体收藏的间隙，我会用那些“免费”的视频网站去凑合凑合。
Can we have a neighborhood movie watch on your front lawn twice a week?
我们可不可以一周两次在你家门口的草坪上办街坊邻居观影会？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Aw that’s how the neighbourhood teens meet and fall in love :)
噢这不就是邻居家的少年少女们见面之后坠入爱河的桥段吗
Imma be pretty upset but at least I don't have to go to work
我可能会觉得特别生气，但至少我再也不用去上班了。
Same. Without internet my job would no longer exist.
我也一样。没有了互联网，我的工作就再也不会存在了。（译注：俺也一样）
Most people don't realize that if the internet was gone, most celphones wouldn't work for even basic calls.
绝大多数人都没有意识到，如果互联网消失了，那么基本上所有手机也都没办法工作了，甚至连最基础的电话都打不了。
如果你有固定电话线路，那你可能可以打通另一个固话，但我猜现在的绝大多数固话也可能是网络电话。
所以，我猜你可能只能走出房子去和邻居朋友面对面聊天了。
太可怕了！
So, I guess you would have to go outside your house and talk to neighbors/friends, face to face.
引用：“所以，我猜你可能只能走出房子去和邻居朋友面对面聊天了。”
你是在开玩笑吗？外面可到处都是疯子！你可千万别冒这个风险！说不定你家邻居就是个连环杀手呢？而且到时候你该怎么报警呢，嗯？
One of my neighbors turned out to be a killer. We didn't know it, but 5 years prior to moving into his apartment he had beaten his wife and young daughter to death in a fit of rage and then burned the house down. Most of the time he was the most outgoing and friendly neighbor. One of my friends mom got her electricity cut off because she had to quit her job to stay home and nurse her son he ran electric to her apartment. He allowed the kids to come over every morning and take a hot shower so they could go to school clean. During the summer months at least once a month he would throw a big barbecue and invite all the neighbors he paid for everything. But he also had a very dark side. He had a hair trigger temper and was insanely strong. I never saw him getting a fight with a guy because he was one of those people that you just look at and know that you don't want to fuck with, but there had been a few incidences where he had beaten his girlfriend's. What finally led to the police catching up to him was when he beat his girlfriend half to death and then threw her out of a window. When they raided his apartment to arrest him he put three of the cops in the hospital.
我有个邻居后来被发现是个杀手。我们都不知道。但是在搬进这个公寓的五年前，他在极度愤怒的情况下打死了自己的老婆和年轻的女儿，然后放火烧毁了整栋房子。绝大多数时候，他都是那个最外向，最友善的好邻居。我有个朋友的妈妈把家里的电费给断了，因为她得辞掉工作居家照顾自己的孩子，于是这个男人把自己家的电线接到了她家。他让孩子们每天早上来自己家洗个热水澡，这样他们就能干干净净地去学校上学。夏天的时候，他每个月至少都会举办一次盛大的烧烤会，让所有邻居都来吃饭，他全都请客。但他也有黑暗的一面。他非常容易发脾气，并且强壮得不可思议。我从来没见过他跟谁打架，因为他属于那种你只需要看一眼就知道自己绝对不想招惹的类型，但他曾经打过几次自己的女朋友。最后导致了警方逮捕他的时间，是他把自己的女朋友打到了半死，然后扔出了窗户。在警察进入他家执法的时候，他把三个警察打进了医院。
I probably wouldn't even realize that's what was going on until I got to the office lol. I'd first assume that some technical issue knocked out cell and internet service at home. Maybe if I happened to turn on the radio for the drive over instead of listening to my saved music I'd hear about it before I got to work
我或许直到走进办公室都不会意识到究竟发生了什么，哈哈哈。我可能会首先假设除了一些技术性的问题导致我的手机和家里的互联网服务用不了了。或许我在开车的时候没有听我保存的音乐，而是打开电台听广播的话，我能在上班之前知道这回事。
Go hang out at the library, show off my Dewey decimal skills.
去图书馆溜达溜达，秀一手我的杜威十进制查书技巧。
They banned me for showing my Dewey decimal in the public library
我因为在公共图书馆展示我的杜威十进制查书技巧被他们禁止入馆了
Being a library monitor will finally pay off!
在图书馆当管理员最爽的一集
Restart my wifi
重启我的wifi
Refresh...hm. Refresh...hm. Refresh?... hm.
刷新……嗯。刷新……嗯。再刷新？……嗯。
Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
你有没有试过先把设备关了，然后再把它打开？
You did? Ok. Hm how about unplugging your computer?
你试过了？噢，行。那再试试把你电脑电源拔了？
Unlike everyone here who are completely delusional of our reliance on the internet, I'd freak the fuck out and assume something absolutely catastrophic either happened, or is happening.
和这里那些对于我们对因特网的依赖一无所知的人不同，我会把自己吓个半死，并且认为要么已经发生了绝对灾难性的事件，要么这种事件正在发生。
Yeah, after confirming all internet disappeared, id start getting emergency doomsday prep done asap.
没错，在确定了所有互联网都消失了之后，我可能会立刻开始准备紧急末日降临的情况。
因为如果全世界的互联网忽然消失，那么要么正在发生一场核战争。要么供应链问题将会造成广泛的无政府状态和恐慌。
Yeah, the idea of social media only disappearing is relieving. The internet entirely? God help us.
没错，如果仅仅社交媒体本身消失了，那还挺让人宽慰的。如果是整个互联网一起消失了？愿老天爷能帮帮我们吧。
Luckily I live in a place with a good view if the nukes go up
还好如果核弹真炸了的话，我住的地方能看得挺清楚。
Try to start coming to terms with death. I don’t think people realize how much of modern society is based on the internet. There would be food shortages, power outages, no water.
试着和死亡达成和解。我并不认为人们能意识到当代社会在多大程度上依赖于互联网。到时候将会出现食物短缺，电力中断，并且还会停水。
Air and ground traffic would be a hopleess mess, so would banking and government
空中和陆地上的交通将会变成一团乱麻，银行业和政府部门也是如此。
By the looks of the government they've been without Internet for a while.
从咱们的政府现在的样子看来，他们好像已经有一阵子没网可用了。
Oh we have it, hobbled by politicians who want us to fail, and constant cyber attacks by the Russians and Chinese.
哦我们有还是有的，只不过被那些想要让我们停摆的政客给断了，此外还有俄罗斯人和中国人不间断的网络攻击。
My first thought was head to my relatives out in the country… no internet means social collapse and I’d rather not be in the city for that
我的第一个想法就是去乡下找我的亲属……没有互联网就意味着社会将会崩溃，我可不想继续待在城市里面。
I need a job and have no fucking idea how to get one. I'd check a newspaper but I'm not even sure where I'd find one.
我需要一份工作，并且我他妈根本不知道该怎么找。我会看看报纸，但我也不确定自己该去哪里找。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
You just walk into random stores/businesses and ask to apply. You'll fill out a form and interview. Then they'll say, "You're hired!" or "Get out."
你只需要随便找一家商店或者公司，进去问问就行。填一张表，接受一段面试，然后他们就会说，“来上班吧！”，或者，“滚吧。”
哪怕今天你也可以这么干，但有时候他们会说，“进来干啥？网上申请去。”
You mean like it was for the first 60% of my life. Do what I need to do
你的意思是说和我人生的前60%差不多。做我该做的事就行。
TDLR: Preparing for shit to hit the fan lM
太长不看：为事情演变到最糟糕的情况做准备哈哈哈哈
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
如果只是短暂的网络干扰，或许我只需要在家里干点活之类的。如果是12小时以上，那么我就得为社会崩溃做准备了。
只需要记住……如果没有某种程度上的互联网通讯，你连打电话或者发短信都做不到，更不用提如果没有现金的话你连东西都没法买了。信号灯可能亮也可能不亮，绝大多数导航都会停止工作（包括飞机导航），并且紧急服务也会受到非常严重的限制。这还只是当整个体制都受到严重影响甚至彻底崩溃的时候的概况。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
现在再把这一切东西忽然同时掉线引发的人类歇斯底里的因素考虑进去。如果你需要举个例子，只需要看看在新冠疫情刚爆发的时候大家是怎么恐慌的就可以了，那还是互联网通讯没出问题，并且所有人都有东西可以转移注意力，让他们冷静下来的时候。
Not a lot, nothing I have will do much. Phone, tablet, PC, TV, not even sure Satellite radio will still work if they’ve also lost their Internet.
没什么，我也没什么好做的。手机，平板，电脑，电视，如果没了互联网的话可能卫星信号的广播都不管用了。
如果互联网明天就崩溃，或许造成的伤害要比绝大多数人所想象的更加严重。