改变人生从改变你的故事开始|洛莉 戈特利布 | TED
How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb | TED
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My parents got divorced when I was in my middle school. The letters in the talk sound so familiar that when I was little, my dad and mom would tell me totally different versions of the same story, and their words confused me for many years. When I grow up, I realized that it's not about right or wrong. It's just people can only understand the world from their own perspectives, which are usually narrow. And my solution is to honestly express yourself to others, exchange your feelings, your views, or your emotions with your partner, so you can understand each other better. It is so important and useful. Hope everyone can live a happy life instead of being trapped like my parents many years ago.
在我上中学的时候我的父母离婚了。信中所描述的听起来和我小时候非常像，同样的故事我的爸妈所讲完全是不同的版本，并且他们的话困扰了我很多年。 当我长大后，我意识到这不是关于对与错。这只是人们从自己的角度来理解世界，而这通常是狭隘的。 我的解决方法是诚实的向别人表达你自己，和你的伴侣交流你的感受，观点和情绪，这样你们能够更好地相互理解彼此。这点非常重要并且很实用。期望每个人能够幸福的生活，而不是像我多年前的父母一样被困住。
Such a quotable talk!
-We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives.
- To tell a story is inescapably to take a moral stance.
- Stories are the way we make sense of our lives.
- The way we narrate our lives shapes what they become.
- Change, even really positive change, involves a surprising amount of loss.
- What would happen if you looked at your story and wrote it from another person’s point of view?
- Life is about choosing which stories to listen to, and which ones need an edit.
- There’s nothing more important to the quality of our lives than the stories we tell ourselves about them. What do you want your story to be? Go write your masterpiece!
精彩的演讲
-我们都是自己人生当中不靠谱的叙事者
-讲故事免不了站在道德立场
-故事是我们理解人生的一种方式
-我们叙述人生的方式影响我们的生活
-改变，即使是真的积极改变，也会带来惊人的损失。
-假如你从另一个人的角度来观察你所写的故事，这将会发生什么？
- 人生就是关于选择要听哪些故事，哪些故事需要编辑。
- 我们对人生质量最重要的影响，莫过于我们对人生故事的理解。
Just finished her book, "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone". It's, literally, the most 'AHA!" book I've ever read. The stories of her going through therapy and those of several clients lives are SO engrossing. I had to see who this woman is!
刚读完她的书，《也许你应该找人聊聊》。这本书真的是我读过的最让人"恍然大悟"的书。她治疗几位病人的故事经历非常引人入胜。 我必须要看一下女人是谁！
This is a masterpiece of a Ted Talk. Easy to understand, short, concise and the prison bar analogy, perfect.
这是一场大师级TED演讲。 非常简短精准通俗易懂，发人深省，完美。
This is very powerful. Editing how you perceive the world and reshaping your responses can lead to deep and powerful changes. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. An excellent TED talk!
这非常有影响力! 改变你对世界的认知并且重新塑造你对深层影响力改变的回应。我见过它，我感受过它。 非常出色的演讲！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I just finished reading her book “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone”. I absolutely loved it and it really opened my mind. Thank you so much, Lori.
我刚拜读完她的书《也许你应该找人聊聊》，我超爱这本书她让我茅塞顿开！非常感谢你，洛莉
We talk so much in our culture about getting to know ourselves, but part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself – to let go of the one version of the story you've been telling yourself, so that you can live your life and not the story that you've been telling yourself about your life. And that's how we talk around those bars.
我们谈论太多关于了解我们自己的文化，但不了解自己也是了解自己的一部分 - 放下你一直在告诉自己的那个版本的故事，这样你就可以过自己的人生，而不是过你一直在告诉自己关于人生的故事。这就是我们绕过那些障碍的方式。
"The next time you're struggling with something. Remember that we're all going to die .And then pull out your editing tools and ask yourself : what do i want my story to be ? And then go write your masterpiece . " Lori Gottlieb
如果下一次你再纠结某些事，记得我们终将会去死。然后拿出你的编辑工具，问自己：“我想要的故事是什么？然后写下你的杰作。”洛莉 戈特利布
I just finished reading her book " maybe you should talk to someone" and i want to thank you for this masterpiece, it made me laugh, cry, think and most importantly understand that happiness but also sadness are both temporary.
我刚读完她的书《也许你该找人聊聊》，并且我想要感谢这本杰作，它让我欢笑，流泪，思考，最重要的是让我明白快乐和悲伤都是暂时的。
Excellent TED talk. Change your narrative. If you think you don't deserve more, you will always settle for the lesser versions of choices, things, people, jobs, etc. Such a process!
棒极的TED演讲，改变你的故事。如果你认为自己不配拥有更多，你总会在选择上，事物上，人，工作等方面退而求其次。就是这么一个过程！
"If the Queen had balls, she'd be a King!" What a great line! And, I couldn't agree more regarding the change; yes, we all want change but change of other character in our story. That's most of us!
如果皇后有种，那她就是国王！ 这话真赞！ 我不能再赞同了，是的，我们都想要改变，但改变的是我们故事中的其他角色。大多数人都是如此！
This is mind blowing. One of the BEST talks and such a powerful message. In one of my classes at University, our professor asked us " What would you like the people at your funeral to say about you". Quite a few people said " Oh I would like them to say he/she was a great husband / wife, friend etc etc". Then one guy stood up and said" I would like them to say "Look he is still breathing"!!
这让我脑洞大开! 这是最好的演讲之一，表达的信息如此给力。 在我大学的某个课上，我们的教授问我们：“你希望人们如何在你的葬礼上谈论你。” 安静了一会有几个人说：“我想要他们/她们说我是个好丈夫/妻子/朋友等。” 之后有个人站起来说：“我想要他们说看这家伙还活着!!"
Wow! This is definitely mind-blowing! Thank you for sharing this principle of rewriting, changing, editing our own stories. Truly, we can be heroes not victims in our live's narratives.
哇哦！ 这个绝对是脑洞大开！ 谢谢你分享了重写，改变，编辑我们自己的故事原则。说实话，我们可以在我们自己的故事里成为英雄而不是受害者。
As an English major in college with a love for psychology too, I loved this ted talk. It's so insightful and the way she explained it with smiles and seriousness is compelling.
作为一个深爱心理学和英语主专业的大学生， 我超爱这个演讲。非常有见地，她微笑着认真解释的方式令人信服。
As a lifelong sufferer of PTSD from an early childhood event...I just paused at 7:33 (with tears) because casting off old misperceptions of rejection is like another rejection in and of itself. I have indeed been editing my story for several years now. I know what I want my story to be. You have just given me a window into a future that I can actually get to. No. More like an open door. Thanks.
作为一名终生患有创伤后应激障碍患者，我幼年时曾发生过的事。。。我刚暂停在7:33（泪目）因为抛弃过去错误的认知这本身就是另一种否定。几年来我一直在编辑自己的故事。我知道我想要的故事是什么样的。 你刚给了我一扇窗，让我预见了一个我可以真正到达的未来。不。更像是开了一扇门。谢谢！
4年前
戈特利布女士对“生活就是故事”的角度有着深刻的见解。我认为是一个很有用的工具，尤其是如果你真的能理解我们的生活就像是我们自己写的故事一样，（我们的偏见）加上所有的因素，让我们现在看起来非常有趣和真实，而不管内容如何。当一个人首先诚实地对待自己所背负的特定故事时，就有可能随着故事的发展而变得更有创造力。这也可以成为通往某种形式的超越的桥梁，因为只要意识到并承认这个故事可能是关于你过去的经历，但你是它的了解者，它最终并不是你的本来面目。
Girl... I almost threw my phone this was so good. My good points and takeaways " Which stories to listen to and which ones need to be edited" " I want to change but they are really saying is that they want another character in the story to change" Word of the Day " Ultracrepidarianism- the habit of giving opinions and advice on matters outside of one's knowledge or competence" Girl I know that's right "We must to responsibility for our role in the story" All great key points thank you so
much
妹子。。我差点把手机扔了，太精彩了。我的观点和收获是："哪些故事需要倾听，哪些故事需要编辑""我想改变，但他们真正想说的是，他们期望故事中的另一个角色改变"，每日一词 "无畏派--习惯于对自己知识或能力之外的事情发表意见和建议"，妹子，我知道这是正确的，"我们必须对自己在故事中的角色负责"，所有要点都很棒，非常感谢。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
This might just be my favorite Ted Talk ever. As a therapist and a writer myself, I thank you.
这可能是我最喜欢的 Ted 演讲了。作为一名理疗师和作家，感谢你。
This video had a great explanation & thank you for sharing this principle of rewriting, changing, editing our own stories. This was very engaging, insightful and interesting. I also agree with all she said, very helpful advice on getting out of the struggle anger and rejection swamp she speaks with such confidence. Also Ms. Gottlieb has a good insight into the "life as a story" perspective. I think it is a very useful tool, especially if you can really see the context of how our lives are more like a story we write as we go on, with all the factors that make it seem very interesting and real to us in the present, regardless of the content. When one is first honest about the particular story one carries, the it is possible to be more creative as the story progresses. That also can be a bridge to a form of transcendence because it is only a matter of realizing and admitting that the story may be about your experiences in the past, but you are the knower of it and it is not ultimately what you are because of that.
这段视频有很好的解释，感谢你分享了改写、改变、编辑我们自己的故事的原则。这段视频非常吸引人，很有见地，也很有趣。我也同意她所说的一切，对于走出挣扎、愤怒和拒绝的泥沼，她的建议非常有帮助，她说得非常自信。此外，戈特利布女士还从 "人生就是一个故事 "的角度提出了很好的见解。我认为这是一个非常有用的工具，尤其是如果你能真正看到我们的生活更像是我们在生活过程中写的一个故事，不管内容如何，所有的因素都让它在当下对我们来说显得非常有趣和真实。当一个人首先坦然面对自己所承载的特定故事时，他就有可能随着故事的发展而变得更有创造力。这也可以成为通往某种形式的超越的桥梁，因为只要意识到并承认这个故事可能是关于你过去的经历，但你是它的了解者，它最终并不是你的本来面目。