生活对一个人可以有多不友善？
How unkind can life be for a person?
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网友讨论面对生活中的挫折
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How unkind can life be for a person?
生活对一个人可以有多不友善？
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1. If you're not popular, you want fame.
2. If you're popular, you want privacy.
3. If you are poor, you need money.
4. If you are rich you realize that there is still a lack of happiness in your life. You just want to live a simple life.
5. Life becomes stressful if you are intelligent because you are not able to ignore anything.
6. If you're clumsy, you make mistakes because of your ignorant behavior.
7. If you're single, you want a relationship.
8. If you're in a relationship, you want some space and freedom.
1. 如果你不受欢迎，你会渴望成名。
2. 如果你很受欢迎，你会想要隐私。
3. 如果你是穷人，你需要钱。
4. 如果你很富有，你会发现生活中仍然缺乏幸福感。你只想过简单的生活。
5. 如果你很聪明，生活变得很有压力，因为你无法忽视任何事情。
6. 如果你很笨拙，就会因为你无知的行为而犯错误。
7. 如果你单身，你想要一段恋爱关系。
8. 如果你处在一段恋爱关系中，你需要一些空间和自由。
If you are a powerful person, you realize that you have to handle all the responsibilities. And it's hard to identify who really loves you and who's pretending.
Life is never perfect. Every solution brings a new problem. Light exists because of darkness and this is the bitter truth of life. Acceptance is the only solution.
如果你不是一个有权势的人，你会觉得人们支配着你。
如果你是一个有权势的人，你应该意识到你必须承担所有的责任。而且很难辨别谁是真心爱你，谁是假装的。
生活从来不完美，每个解决方案都会带来新的问题。光明存在是因为黑暗，这是生活的苦涩真相。接受现实是唯一的解决方案。
Once there was a woman named Shakshi who had endured a lifetime of hardships. She grew up in a poor family, with parents who were constantly struggling to make ends meet. Shakshi never had many opportunities to pursue her dreams, as she was forced to work long hours at minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet.
Despite her hard work, Shakshi continued to experience a series of setbacks and misfortunes. She was diagnosed with a chronic illness in her twenties, which made it difficult for her to work and took a toll on her mental health. She was in a car accident that left her with permanent injuries and chronic pain. And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, her beloved mother passed away, leaving her feeling lost and alone.
As Shakshi struggled to cope with her grief and pain, she found herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. She began to isolate herself from friends and family, feeling like nobody could truly understand what she was going through. She struggled to find meaning in her life, feeling like everything she had ever worked for had been taken away from her.
But then, something unexpected happened. One day, as Shakshi was sitting alone in a park, she noticed a group of children playing nearby. They were laughing and shouting, chasing each other around with wild abandon. As she watched them, Shakshi felt a glimmer of hope. For the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of joy and wonder in the world.
From that moment on, Shakshi began to seek out moments of beauty and joy in her life. She started to take walks in the park, admiring the flowers and trees that surrounded her. She joined a support group for people with chronic illnesses, finding comfort in the stories of others who had faced similar struggles. And she began to open herself up to the possibility of love and connection, reaching out to friends and family and letting them know how much they meant to her.
Though Shakshi's life had been unkind to her, she refused to let it break her. She found strength and resilience in the face of adversity, and learned to find joy and beauty in the world around her. Despite the challenges she faced, Shakshi was determined to live a life that was full of meaning and purpose.
从前有一个叫Shakshi的女人，她经历了一生的艰辛。她在一个贫困的家庭中长大，父母不断地努力谋生。Shakshi从未有过追求梦想的机会，因为她不得不在最低工资的工作岗位上长时间地工作才能维持生计。
尽管Shakshi非常努力，但她仍然经历了一系列的挫折和不幸。她在二十多岁时被诊断出一种慢性疾病，这让她很难工作，并对她的心理健康产生了影响。她曾经遭遇一场车祸，留下了永久性的伤害和慢性疼痛。就在她认为事情已经不能再糟糕的时候，她心爱的母亲去世了，让她感到迷茫和孤独。
当Shakshi努力面对她的悲痛和痛苦时，她发现自己越陷越深地陷入绝望之中。她开始与朋友和家人疏远，感觉没有人能够真正理解她所经历的一切。她难以在生活中找到意义，感觉所有她曾经努力争取的东西都被夺走了。
但是，突然发生了一些意外的事情。一天，当Shakshi独自坐在公园里时，她注意到附近有一群孩子正在玩耍。他们笑着喊着，尽情追逐。当Shakshi观察他们时，她感到了希望的曙光。很长一段时间以来，她第一次感到世界上存在着快乐和奇迹的感觉。
从那一刻开始，Shakshi开始寻找她生活中的美丽和快乐时刻。她开始在公园里散步，欣赏周围的花草树木。她加入了一个慢性病患者支持小组，在听到其他人面对相似困境的故事中找到了安慰。她开始敞开心扉，接受爱和联系的可能性，向朋友和家人伸出手，让他们知道他们对她来说有多重要。
尽管Shakshi的生活对她来说很不友善，但她拒绝让它打败她。她在逆境中找到了力量和韧性，并学会从周围的世界中寻找快乐和美丽。尽管面临着挑战，Shakshi决心过一种有意义和目的的生活。
Life can be very unkind for following reasons!
Life can be unkind when unexpected and tragic events occur, such as accidents or natural disasters.
The loss of loved ones can be devastating and leave us feeling alone and helpless.
Financial difficulties can cause stress and anxiety, making it difficult to make ends meet and provide for ourselves and our families.
Health problems can be painful and debilitating, affecting our ability to enjoy life and do the things we love.
Failed relationships can be emotionally and mentally draining, leaving us feeling hurt and betrayed.
Discrimination and prejudice can make life unkind by causing us to feel excluded and unwelcome in certain spaces.
Mental health struggles, such as depression or anxiety, can make everyday tasks feel impossible and leave us feeling isolated and hopeless.
Overwhelming responsibilities, such as caring for a sick family member or raising children alone, can leave us feeling exhausted and burnt out.
Injustice and unfairness, such as experiencing discrimination or witnessing acts of violence, can make life feel unfair and unjust.
Feeling lost or purposeless in life can make it difficult to find direction and meaning, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from the world around us.
It's important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles and to seek help from friends, family, or professionals when needed. By finding ways to cope and overcome our challenges, we can emerge stronger and wiser.
生活可能会因为以下原因而残酷无情！
生活可能会很残酷，当意外和悲剧事件发生时，例如事故或自然灾害。
失去所爱之人可能会让我们感到毁灭性的痛苦，让我们感到孤独和无助。
财政困难可能会导致压力和焦虑，使得我们难以维持生计并为自己和家人提供生活所需。
健康问题可能会令人痛苦和致残，影响我们享受生活和做自己喜欢的事情的能力。
失败的人际关系可能会在情感和心理上消耗我们，让我们感到受伤和背叛。
歧视和偏见会让生活变得残酷，因为它们让我们感到被排除在某些空间之外，不受欢迎。
心理健康的斗争，如抑郁症或焦虑症，可以使日常任务感觉不可能完成，让我们感到孤立和无助。
不堪重负的责任，例如照顾生病的家人或独自抚养孩子，会让我们感到精疲力竭和疲惫不堪。
不公和不公正，比如遭受歧视或目睹暴力行径，会让人们感到生活不平和不公。
在生活中感到迷茫或没有目的感会使人难以找到方向和意义，让我们感到不满足，和与周围的世界脱离。
重要的是要记住，在我们奋斗的过程中我们并不孤单，可以在需要时向朋友、家人或专业人士寻求帮助。通过找到应对和克服挑战的方法，我们可以变得更强大、更明智。
Life can be incredibly unkind to a person, and it's unfortunate that many individuals experience difficult and challenging situations. Life's unkindness can manifest in various ways, such as personal setbacks, financial struggles, health issues, relationship problems, or the loss of loved ones. These adversities can leave a person feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and emotionally drained.
I have personally witnessed and experienced the unkindness of life. There was a time when I faced a series of setbacks and obstacles that seemed relentless. I encountered financial difficulties, lost a job that I loved, and experienced the breakdown of a significant relationship. It felt like life was throwing one curveball after another, leaving me questioning my purpose and resilience.
During those trying times, I learned some valuable lessons. I realized that life's unkindness does not define who we are as individuals. Instead, it presents an opportunity for growth, strength, and self-discovery. It taught me the importance of resilience, adaptability, and maintaining a positive mindset even in the face of adversity.
While life's unkindness can be overwhelming, it's crucial to remember that we have the power to rise above these challenges. Here are a few suggestions that helped me navigate through difficult times:
生活可以对一个人非常不友善，许多人不幸地遇到了困难和挑战。生活的不友善可能以多种方式显现，如个人挫折、经济困境、健康问题、关系问题或失去所爱的人。这些逆境可能使一个人感到不知所措、无助和情绪憔悴。
我亲身经历了生活的无情和残酷。曾经有一段时间，我经历了接连不断的挫折和障碍。我遇到了财务困难，失去了我爱的工作，经历了一段重要关系的破裂。生活似乎一个接一个地发生着曲折，让我对自己的目的和韧性产生了疑问。
在那些艰难的时刻，我学到了一些宝贵的经验。我意识到生活的不公并不定义我们作为个体的身份。相反，它为成长、力量和自我发现提供了机会。它教会我坚韧、适应性的重要性，以及即使在逆境中也要保持积极的心态。
尽管生命中的残酷可能是难以承受的，但关键是要记住，我们有能力超越这些挑战。以下是一些帮助我度过困难时期的建议：
Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, prioritize self-care routines, and practice mindfulness or meditation.
Set realistic goals: Break down larger challenges into smaller, manageable goals. Celebrate small victories along the way, as they contribute to your overall progress.
Maintain a positive mindset: Focus on the aspects of life that bring you happiness and gratitude. Practice positive affirmations and seek opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement.
Embrace change: Life's unkindness often leads to unexpected changes. Embrace these changes as opportunities for growth, and be open to new experiences and possibilities.
Remember, everyone's journey is unique, and it's important to acknowledge that healing and overcoming life's unkindness takes time. Be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, and reach out for help when needed.
Life's unkindness may shake us to our core, but it is through these experiences that we develop resilience, empathy, and a deeper appreciation for the moments of joy and fulfillment. Stay strong, believe in yourself, and never underestimate your ability to overcome life's challenges.
寻求支持：让自己周围围绕着一个稳固的支持系统，包括朋友、家人或心理治疗师，他们可以提供指导、鼓励和同情。
实践自我关怀：照顾您的身体和心理健康。参与让您感到快乐的活动，优先考虑自我关怀的日常程序，并练习正念或冥想。
设定现实目标：把较大的挑战分解为更小、更可管理的目标。在一路上庆祝小小的胜利，因为它们对整体进展有所贡献。
保持积极的心态：关注那些让你感到快乐和感激的生活方面。练习积极的肯定和寻求个人成长和自我提升的机会。
接受变化：生活的无情经常会导致意外的变化。将这些变化作为成长的机遇，积极接受新的体验和可能性。
请记住，每个人的旅程都是独特的，认识到愈合和克服生活的不公需要时间。要耐心对待自己，实践自我怜悯，并在需要时向他人寻求帮助。
生活的不公可能会撼动我们的核心，但正是通过这些经历，我们才能培养出韧性、同理心，并更深刻地欣赏快乐和满足的时刻。保持坚强，相信自己，永不低估你战胜生活挑战的能力。
“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho
By nature, I am a happy, optimistic, idealistic person. I have always been one to look on the bright side and see the good in people. My usual philosophy in life is that the world is full of brightness, love, and possibilities to seize.
Recently, though, my philosophy began to fade in the face of a mild depression.
I began to cry a lot and retreat into myself rather than being social and opening up, which only furthered the problem. I felt alone, miserable, and, try as I might, I could not regain that feeling of the world being beautiful.
I felt like something had crawled into my brain and flipped all the positive switches off and the negative ones on. I felt hopeless, like it was more of a disease than a feeling.
Before the depression, I was a kind, gentle, and compassionate person. Sometimes I was even too gentle, afraid to bring up anything that might offend someone else or damage our relationship.
I didn’t understand how other people could be mean, rude, or offensive toward strangers or friends. I took it personally when people affronted me or were curt with me, believing they were truly out to get me for something I’d done.
“人们如何对待其他人直接反映了他们对自己的感受。”~保罗·柯艾略
本性而言，我是一个快乐、乐观、理想主义的人。我总是能够从好的一面看待事物，看到人们身上的优点。我通常的人生哲学是，这个世界充满了光明、爱和值得把握的机会。
然而，最近我的哲学开始在轻微的抑郁面前逐渐消退。
我开始频繁哭泣，不愿意社交和开放自己，这只会使问题更加恶化。我感到孤独、痛苦，尽管我努力想让世界变得美好，但却无济于事。
我感觉好像有什么东西爬进了我的脑子，把所有的积极开关都关掉了，把所有的消极开关都打开了。我感到绝望，好像这更像一种疾病而不是一种感觉。
在经历抑郁症之前，我是一个善良、温柔、有同情心的人。有时我甚至过于温柔，害怕提及任何可能冒犯他人或破坏我们关系的事情。
我不理解其他人如何可以对陌生人或朋友冷酷、粗鲁或冒犯。当人们冒犯我或对我无礼时，我会认为他们是真的想找我麻烦，认为他们近来是针对我做了什么。
When I became depressed, though, my temper shortened and I felt far more irritable.
I had little patience for anything, and I lived in a constant state of anxiety about social interactions. Whenever I engaged in conversation with someone else, I assumed they found me boring, annoying, or self-obsessed, and it sent me even further into my sadness.
I started to become rude and unkind myself. I lashed out at people, or, more commonly, gave them passive aggressive excuses for distancing myself from them.
I even became prone to insulting people as a way of protecting myself if they didn’t like me.
I didn’t make a conscious decision to be mean. I didn’t wake up in the morning and think, “Today, I am going to hurt someone’s feelings.” It just happened in the moment when I was feeling especially down on myself.
Most of the people I was rude to were actually friends of mine, people I liked and had nothing against.
This is no excuse for rudeness, offensive behavior, or being unkind to other individuals. I am not proud of the way I’ve acted, and I’m not suggesting you follow in my footsteps, but it did give me a new perspective on other people I come across who are less than kind.
当人们表现得刻薄无情时，我觉得这是一种个人选择，是一种有意识的决定，放弃关心他人的感受和观点。
当我变得抑郁的时候，我的脾气变得更加暴躁，我感到更容易烦躁。
我对任何事都缺乏耐心，而且我一直处于对社交互动的不安定状态。每当我与别人进行交谈时，我就会觉得他们觉得我无聊、烦人或自我执着，这更让我陷入悲伤之中。
我开始变得粗鲁和不友善了。我向人们发脾气，或者更常见的是用被动攻击性的借口远离他们。
如果别人不喜欢我，我甚至会用侮辱来保护自己。
我没有刻意地决定要变得刻薄。我没有早上醒来时想着：“今天，我要伤害某个人的感情。”只是在我感到特别自卑的那一刻，它自然而然地发生了。
我对大部分人的粗鲁行为实际上是在冒犯自己的朋友，我喜欢他们并没有什么怨恨。
这并不是对粗鲁、冒犯行为或对他人不友善的借口。我对自己的行为感到不骄傲，也不建议你效仿我的脚步，但这确实让我对那些不友善的人有了新的认识。
People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope.
Being unkind, more often than not, is a reaction to anger with ourselves or our perceived inadequacy. When I was rude to other people, it was because I was afraid they wouldn’t like the nice me. I didn’t mind if they were angry at the fake, unkind me, because it really wasn’t me.
I felt unlovable, undesirable, and antisocial, and I needed a way to cope with these feelings by giving myself an alter ego that deserved to be disliked for reasons I could understand.
When you find that people are being rude to you in your everyday life, they are really being mean to themselves.
They have likely convinced themselves that they are unworthy of love, and that is the biggest tragedy of all.
You don’t have to tolerate it when others are not nice, but it’s not something to take personally.
You don’t have to internalize the meanness as a fault of your own. You can simply recognize that the person being rude is struggling with their own problems, and needs a way to cope with them.
当有人无缘无故地表现粗鲁，特别是陌生人，这很少是个人攻击，即使你无意中做了什么事情惹恼了他们。
人们并不是为了赌气或针对你而刻意表现得刻薄，而是因为他们需要一种应对方式。
不善良往往是对自己或自己认为的不足感到生气的一种反应。当我对别人不礼貌时，是因为我害怕他们不喜欢真正的我。如果他们对虚假和不友善的我感到生气，我并不介意，因为那不是真正的我。
我感到自己不可爱，不受欢迎，反社会，并且我需要一种应对这些感受的方式，通过给自己创造一个替身角色，这个角色因我可以理解的原因而应该被不喜欢。
当你发现在日常生活中有人对你很粗鲁时，实际上他们是在对自己很刻薄。
他们可能已经说服自己，认为他们不配得到爱，而这是最大的悲剧。
当别人不友好时，你不必容忍他们，但也不要把它当作个人攻击。
你不必将恶意视为你自己的过错，你可以理解，无礼的人正在处理自己的问题，他们需要一种应对方式。
If you yourself are the one who has been unkind, it is time for self-reflection. Why do you attack people? What are you trying to protect yourself from?
In my case, I got depressed because I felt socially awkward and I began losing friends. After that, I shied away from social gatherings, only augmenting the problem.
I constantly thought negative things, such as “Nobody likes you,” “Who would want to be your friend?” and “You are not worthy of the friends you have.” I created a toxic environment inside my own head, and it wasn’t based in reality.
I knew I had to change my outlook, so I pushed myself to see the good in myself and the reasons why I’m likable; as a result, I began to see the good in others again too.
It’s not an easy process, and for many, it requires therapy and months of time. However, you can begin your journey back to kindness by being kinder to yourself.
Listen closely to your destructive, self-critical thoughts. Are they based in reality, or are you fabricating them?
If you criticize yourself because you feel guilty about things you did in the past, work on nurturing self-forgiveness, just as you’d forgive a loved one for those same mistakes.
If you criticize yourself because you were raised to believe you were a bad person, recognize this isn’t true, and know that you can choose to heal and challenge this belief as an adult.
Try to look at yourself from an outside perspective and remind yourself of all the unique and beautiful qualities you possess and have the ability to share with the world.
With enough time and effort, you will begin to see the pattern in your unkind behavior and its lix to your own anger at yourself.
Once you can hone in on your feelings about yourself, you can begin to make conscious decisions to be kind to others instead of lashing out as a coping mechanism.
I have always unfalteringly held the belief that people are inherently good, and only do bad things in reaction to bad situations.
你无法控制他人的行为和行动，只能控制自己对他们的反应。
如果你自己是那个不友好的人，是时候进行自我反思了。你为什么要攻击人？你是在试图保护自己免受伤害吗？
在我的情况下，我因为觉得自己和社交不来，开始失去朋友而感到沮丧。之后，我避开社交聚会，只是加剧了问题。
我经常会想些消极的事情，比如 “没有人喜欢你”，“谁会想和你做朋友？”以及“你不配有那些朋友”。在我自己的脑海中创造了一种毒性环境，而这并不是建立在现实基础上的。
我知道我必须改变自己的观念，于是我努力发掘自己的好处和可爱之处；结果，我重新开始看到别人的优点。
这不是一个简单的过程，对于许多人来说，它需要治疗和数月的时间。然而，你可以通过更加善待自己开始回归善良的旅程。
仔细听一听你那些破坏性的、自我批判的想法。它们是基于现实的，还是你在捏造？
如果你因为过去做过的事情感到内疚而批评自己，那么就努力培养自我宽恕，就像你会原谅爱人犯同样的错误一样。
如果你因为你成长的环境让你相信自己是一个坏人而批评自己，认识到这不是真的，并且知道你可以选择作为一个成年人去治愈和挑战这种信念。
试着从外部视角看待自己，并提醒自己拥有与世界分享的独特而美妙的品质。
经过足够的时间和努力，你将开始看到自己不友善行为的模式及其与你自己内心的愤怒之间的联系。
一旦你能够磨练出关于自己的感受，你就可以开始做出有意识的决定，对他人友善，而不是采用出其不意的应对机制来抨击他人。
我一直坚定地相信，人本质上是善良的，只有在面对不良情况时才会做出不好的事情。
Exactly how unkind a person can be to his life most of the times.
Let me explain:
I believe that this world is a game. Our goal is to complete hard missions which cause genuine impact in this world. In order to do this we must constantly upgrade our character(our bodies are the character and the mind is the remote control). Most people don't take remote control in their hands and live their lives on automatic mode.If you are not this you are being unkind to your life and you would have to pay for it.
If you are not taking care your character you would have to pay for it. If you notice carefully there is a pattern in this world. Most things which give instant gratifaction cause harm in long term and most things which feel painful actually give benifits in long run.
Do share your opinion in comment section
一个人可以对自己的生活多么不友善，常常令人惊讶。
让我来解释一下：
我相信这个世界是一个游戏，我们的目标是完成艰难的任务，产生真正的影响。为了做到这一点，我们必须不断提升自己的角色（我们的身体是角色，心灵是遥控器）。大多数人不拿遥控器进行控制，而是以自动模式生活。如果你不这样做，你会对自己的生活不友善，并且你必须为此付出代价。
如果你不好好照顾你的性格，你就不得不为此付出代价。如果你仔细观察，你会发现世界上存在一种模式。大多数能够立即满足你的东西在长期内会带来伤害，而感到痛苦的大多数事物实际上能够长期受益。
请在评论区分享您的意见。
Life can be very unkind to some people, sometimes as a result of circumstances beyond their control such as natural disasters, illness, or accidents. Other times, unkindness can stem from intentional actions of others such as abuse, bullying, discrimination, or injustice. It's also important to note that some people may face multiple challenges and hardships, making their experiences of life even more difficult.
However, it's also worth mentioning that life can also be full of kindness and generosity, and many people experience love, support, and positive experiences despite facing challenges. It's important to remember that every person's journey is unique, and no one's life can be reduced to a single adjective such as "unkind.
生活可以对某些人非常残酷，有时是由于他们无法控制的环境因素，如自然灾害、疾病或意外事故。其他情况下，不良行为可能源于他人故意的行为，如虐待、欺凌、歧视或不公正行为。还需要注意的是，有些人可能面临多重挑战和困难，使他们的生活经历更加艰难。
然而，同样值得一提的是，生活也可以充满善意和慷慨，许多人在面对挑战时仍然经历着爱、支持和积极的经历。重要的是要记住每个人的旅程都是独特的，没有人的生活可以被简化为一个单一的形容词，比如“不友善”。
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.” ~Khalil Gibran
I recently travelled to Malaysia for a friend’s wedding where I spent four delicious days communing with wild monkeys and feasting on sticky rice. The people were kind and warm, the culture rich, the trip magical.
On my last day in Kuala Lumpur, I was headed out to buy souvenirs for family and friends when I stumbled across the most beautiful temple—filled with ornate gold and red statues, air thick with sweet-smelling smoke.
I wandered around, overcome with majesty, trying to breathe it all in. I was still under the temple’s spell when someone spoke to me.
“Your dress is ugly.”
“我从健谈者身上学会了沉默，从不宽容者身上学会了宽容，从不友善者身上学会了友善。” ~卡利尔·贾伯朗
我最近到马来西亚参加朋友的婚礼，我在那里度过了四个美妙的日子，与野生猴子交流，并享用糯米饭。当地人非常友善热情，文化丰富，这次旅行非常神奇。
在吉隆坡的最后一天，我打算去买给家人和朋友的纪念品时，偶然发现了最美的寺庙——寺内摆满了华丽的金色和红色雕像，空气中弥漫着甜香味。
我在四处漫游，被宏伟景象所征服，试图吸收一切。当有人对我说话时，我仍然沉浸在寺庙的魔力之中。
你的服装很丑。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
“Sorry?” I said, thinking I must have misheard. She waved me off.
I stood there for a moment, trying to decide on a course of action. She was American, the first and only other American I’d met during my trip.
Had she really just said my dress was ugly? It was a simple blue affair, uncomplicated and perfect for traveling. Maybe she said my dress was pretty, I thought. I must have misunderstood.
The hurt and confusion was rising to a crescendo in my head. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that we all have a choice of how we choose to respond to what we are given. I chose to engage.
“Did you just say my dress is ugly?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I did.”
我向右看去，声音传来的地方。一名女子坐在长椅上，没有朝我的方向看。
“对不起？”我说着，想着自己可能听错了。她挥了挥手。
我站在那里，尝试着决定接下来该怎么做。她是美国人，是我在旅行中遇到的第一个也是唯一一个美国人。
她真的刚才说我的连衣裙很丑吗？它是一件简单的蓝色连衣裙，适合旅行，没有复杂的装饰，很完美。也许她说我的连衣裙很漂亮，我想我可能误解了。
我内心的痛苦和困惑越来越强烈。但是如果过去几年我学到了什么，那就是我们都有选择如何回应我们所得到的东西。我选择去参与和应对。
“你刚刚说我的裙子丑吗？”我问道。
“是的，”她说。“我说了。”
“I’m entitled to my opinion,” she said. “Your dress is ugly; I can tell it’s not well made. Your purse is dirty. I am free to voice my thoughts and those are my thoughts about you.”
To say it felt like getting slapped in the face would be an understatement; it was more of a punch to the gut. My blood boiled, my heart raced, and still I kept my voice at an even keel.
“You are entitled to your own opinion,” I said. “But we also live in congress with other human beings. Why would you say something so aggressive and unkind?”
At which point she reiterated her insults. Her words sliced coolly into the way I looked and the clothes I wore. That’s when I said the one thing I regret saying.
“I wish there were fewer Americans like you traveling abroad,” I told her. “You give the rest of us a bad name.”
I turned and walked away, and she yelled one more barb at my back as I walked out of the temple. I didn’t turn around.
My hands were shaking as I walked down the street. I felt a strange knot of emotions in my chest: hurt, anger, fear.
I was irrationally terrified that I would run into her again, that she would be sitting in the seat next to me on my flight home and I would be subjected to seventeen hours of her cruelty, unable to escape.
我深深地吸了一口气，并镇静地回答道：“你为什么要这样说我呢？”
“我有权发表自己的意见，”她说。“你的裙子很丑，我能看出它不是很精制。你的钱包很脏。我可以自由发表我的想法，这就是我对你的看法。”
说尝试用“像被打耳光”来形容那种感觉实在太抬举它了，那更像是被一拳击中了胃部。我血液沸腾，心脏狂跳，但我仍保持冷静的语气。
“你有权拥有自己的观点，”我说道。“但是我们也要与其他人类一同生活。你为什么要说出那么具有攻击性和不友善的话呢？”
在那时她重复了她的侮辱。她的话轻松地切入了我的外表和我穿的衣服。那时我说了我后悔说的一件事。
“我希望像你这样出国旅行的美国人能少一些，”我告诉她，“你给我们其他人抹黑了。”
我转身走开了，她在我走出寺庙时向我背后又喊了一句刺骨的话。我没有回头。
当我走在街上时，我的手在颤抖。我感到胸中有一种奇怪的情绪结：痛苦，愤怒和恐惧。
我非常害怕再次遇见她，担心她会坐在我回家的航班上的座位旁边，我将被迫忍受长达十七个小时的她的残忍，无法逃脱。
I couldn’t call my boyfriend, who was back in our sunny home in California, or my best friend in DC—both of whom were sound asleep halfway across the world. So I was left to process what had happened on my own, in a foreign country, without my normal triumvirate of “healthy coping mechanisms”: yoga, conversation, tea.
And here’s what it all came down to: kindness.
I had just read the wonderful convocation address given by George Saunders to the Syracuse class of 2013. George talks about something he calls a “failure of kindness,” and those three words were very much on my mind.
Yes, you could say I had suffered from a failure of kindness. But what I realized was that I, too, had been unkind.
但最让我感到困惑的是，为什么这个女人选择攻击我？为什么她会说出那样的话？
我无法给在我们阳光明媚的家乡加州的男友或是在华盛顿特区的最好的朋友打电话——他们都在世界的另一半沉睡着。所以我只能独自在一个陌生的国家里处理所发生的事情，没有我平时使用的“健康应对机制”：瑜伽、谈话、喝茶。
这一切最终归结为：善良。
我刚刚读了乔治·桑德斯在2013年锡拉丘兹毕业典礼上演讲，该演讲非常精彩。乔治谈到了他称之为“善良的失败”的事情，这三个词一直萦绕在我的脑海中。
是的，你可以说我遭受了善良的失败。但我意识到的是，我自己也曾不够友善。
Because I do hope that for her. I hope that she is bathed in loving-kindness, that she is inundated with so much that she cannot help but share it with the world.
While it’s true that kindness engenders kindness, the lack of it can be a powerful teacher.
For my remaining hours in Kuala Lumpur, I was abundantly kind to everyone I met. I complimented a girl on her joyful spirit, told shop owners how beautiful their merchandise was, smiled widely and genuinely. I made a point to be kind to these warm, generous people who had so kindly shared their country with me.
And every time I was shown kindness, no matter how small, I felt immeasurably grateful.
That woman gave me a great gift. She reminded me that we all have a choice to be kind, and we are presented with that choice many times a day.
我希望我没有对她说我说的话。那来自我的受伤，从感觉需要反击的地方。我希望我曾经说过：“我希望你遇到的人都是善良的。”
因为我真的希望她能够这样。我希望她被爱和善意所浸润，以至于她无法不与世界分享这种爱与善意。
虽然善良能回报善良，但缺乏善良也能成为强大的教师。
在吉隆坡我剩余的时间里，我对遇到的每个人都十分友善。我夸奖了一个女孩的快乐精神，告诉商店老板他们的商品有多漂亮，真心微笑着。我特别想对这些热情、大度的人表示友善，他们慷慨地与我分享了自己的国家。
每当有人向我表现出善意，无论那有多么微小，我都感到无限感激。
那个女人给了我一份伟大的礼物，她提醒我我们都可以选择变得善良，而且每天都会被呈现出这个选择。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处