My parents raised me to believe the West was the best and I was one of the lucky few to make it here. They said I'll appreciate being a native English speaker who makes a lot of money and buy a large house in the suburbs.
I'm supposed to feel grateful but I just feel like my parents sacrificed community and love just so I could have a better standard of living. Being a native English speaker is useful for a lot of things but losing your heritage isn't worth it.

我的父母让我相信西方是最好的,而留在这里的我也是少数几个幸运的人之一。他们说我应该感激自己以英语为母语,这样能赚很多钱并在郊区买一所大房子。
我或许应该感激,但我只是觉得我的父母为了提高我的生活水平而牺牲了归属感和爱。成为一个以英语为母语的人对很多事情都很有用,但是失去你的传统就得不偿失了。

I've been working on my mental health and learning more about childhood trauma but I'm just not sure if staying in the West is good for my mental health. I was planning on moving to an Asian exclave but it seems like Asian culture there is so diluted. I'm not saying leaving the west is going to fix all my problems. My inner demons will still follow me wherever I go but I wanted to stay here and do everything I could to improve my life. I feel like the only good thing about living in the West is making more money and working less but I don't see much of a future here. I don't even want to have kids here because it just seems pointless to raise another generation of lost and traumatized children. Even if I try to be a healthy parent at home I feel my kids would get traumatized by the school system and bullying.

我一直在研究自己的心理健康,并学习了更多关于童年创伤的知识,我只是不确定呆在西方对我的心理健康是否有好处。我本来打算搬到亚洲人聚集地,但那里的亚洲文化似乎被稀释了。不是说离开西方就会解决我所有的问题。无论我走到哪里,我内心的恶魔仍然会跟随我,但我想留在这里,尽我所能地改善我的生活。我觉得生活在西方唯一的好处就是做更少的工作赚更多的钱,但我看不到在这里的未来。我甚至不想在这里生孩子,因为抚养又一代内心迷茫和受到创伤的孩子似乎毫无意义。即使我努力在家里做一个健康的家长,我的孩子也会因为学校体制和霸凌受到伤害。