QA问答：无神论者，想象你正在教一个基督教婴儿数学，你陷入了一个困难的乘法问题。婴儿闭上眼睛祈祷，然后写下正确答案。目睹了这一奇迹后，你会继续做一个无神论者吗？
Atheists, imagine you are tutoring a Christian baby in math and you get stuck on a hard multiplication problem. The baby closes his eyes and prays, and then writes down the correct answer. Would you stay an atheist after witnessing this miracle?
译文简介
想要取得好的数学成绩，需要秀出你的演算过程。通过祈祷得到正确答案就是作弊。
正文翻译
Atheists, imagine you are tutoring a Christian baby in math and you get stuck on a hard multiplication problem. The baby closes his eyes and prays, and then writes down the correct answer. Would you stay an atheist after witnessing this miracle?
无神论者，想象你正在教一个基督教婴儿数学，你陷入了一个困难的乘法问题。婴儿闭上眼睛祈祷，然后写下正确答案。目睹了这一奇迹后，你会继续做一个无神论者吗？
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Math marks require that you show your working. Getting the correct answer by prayer is cheating.
想要取得好的数学成绩，需要秀出你的演算过程。通过祈祷得到正确答案就是作弊。
Hahaha let’s see that shit really happen. It’s no different that the talking donkey in Numbers 11. If I saw an intelligent talking donkey I’m sure it would change something in my mind. Do you expect to see a talking donkey any time soon?
哈哈哈，想想如果这种狗屁事情真的发生了。这就和迪士尼动画《数字》的第11集中会说话的驴子没什么不同。如果我看到一头会说话的驴子，我相信它会改变我的想法。你希望很快就能看到会说话的驴子吗？
No, obviously not. I would be an instant convert to christianity! I am glad to see the christian baby occasionally takes a break from his more perilous exploits to pursue some more sedentary activities. Its a step in the right direction at least.
不，显然不会继续做无神论者。我会立即皈依基督教！我很高兴，看到这个基督教婴儿，偶尔会从他更危险的行为中休息一下，从事一些需要久坐不动的活动。这至少是朝着正确的方向迈出的一步。
Christian here. Atheists, I am really sorry about this “Christian baby” guy. He even annoys me. And I am REALLY hard to annoy.
我是一个基督徒。无神论者，对于这个总是问“基督教婴儿”话题的家伙，我感到很抱歉。他甚至惹恼了我。我真的很难被惹恼的。
I like to think that all of these questions are about the same Christian Baby and these are all snippets of the wacky adventures of this Baby Geniuses style super-smart baby and his long-suffering atheist caretaker.
Anyway,would I stay an atheist? Well, i’d admit to considering the possibility of god here, but I’ll be honest, my worldview was already shaking when a newborn walked up to me and asked me to help him with long multiplication
我很喜欢思考题主问的这些。所有的问题都是关于同一个基督教宝宝，这个天才的、超级超级聪明的宝宝，和他那个长期受苦的无神论者看护者的古怪冒险片段。
无论如何，我会继续做无神论者吗？嗯，我承认我在这里考虑过上帝的可能性，但老实说，当一个新生儿走到我面前，让我教他做长乘法时，我的世界观已经在动摇了。
Please explain how you come up with something this stupid?
题主，请解释一下，你是怎么想出这么愚蠢的东西的？
The miracle would be only if the baby were an actual infant, and not one of the babies that politicians are found in the broom closet missing.
只有当这个婴儿是一个真正的婴儿，而不是政客们在扫帚柜里发现的失踪婴儿时，奇迹才会出现。
Oh im sorry
You think babies can write
Well im sorry, your wrong
Babies cant write they cant even hold a pencil right let alone talk
Maybe when theyre older but as a baby, no
哦，我很抱歉。
你认为婴儿会写字。
对不起，你错了。
婴儿不会写字，他们甚至拿不住铅笔，更别说说话了。
也许当他们长大了可以，但作为一个婴儿不行。
Imagine every known universe / cosmos was search very thoroughly and no evidence of any God or gods was found. Would you still believe?
I know you love ridiculous hypothetical questions.
想象一下，如果每一个已知的宇宙都被搜索得非常彻底，没有发现任何上帝或神灵的证据。你还会相信上帝吗？
我知道你喜欢荒谬的假设问题。
No. But I’d be pretty impressed with any baby able to do any kind of multiplication, let alone complex multiplication.
Also, it says an awful lot about you and your beliefs that you think it would be cool for your god to help a kid cheat on a practice maths test instead of, say, helping countless other babies with serious diseases, disability, or disadvantage. There are babies literally starving to death in the world. Heaps of them. And your omniscient, omnipotent god is answering maths questions instead of helping them? That is really messed up.
不会。但我对任何一个能做任何乘法的婴儿都印象深刻，更不用说复杂的乘法了。
此外，这也说明了你和你的信仰，你认为你的上帝帮助孩子在数学练习考试中作弊，而不是去帮助其他无数患有严重疾病、残疾或劣势的婴儿，你认为这种行为是很酷的。世界上确实有婴儿饿死。一堆堆。而你无所不知、无所不能的上帝在回答数学问题，而不是去帮助他们？这真是糟糕透了。
No. What a stupid question!
There is absolutely NO evidence that prayer does anything! Miracles are just a metaphor for something that is either surprising or unexplainable.
不会，这真是个愚蠢的问题！
绝对没有证据表明祈祷有任何作用！奇迹只是对令人惊讶或无法解释的事物的隐喻。
Christians, suppose you witnessed your God kill all of the people in the world in a childish meltdown because his creations were exercising their free will. Would you continue to support this genocidal maniac?
Suppose you witnessed your God make everyone speak a different language because he was scared of what they were accomplishing by being able to communicate clearly with one another. Would you still declare this being moral?
Suppose you witnessed the angels of your God murder innocent babies of an entire city simply to get the attention of a single man. Would you declare that God just?
基督徒，假设你亲眼目睹了你的上帝在一个幼稚的崩溃中杀死了世界上所有的人，因为他的创造物正在行使他们自己的自由意志。你会继续支持这个种族灭绝狂吗？
假设你亲眼目睹你的上帝让每个人都说不同的语言，因为他害怕他们通过能够清晰地彼此沟通而取得成就。你还会宣称这是道德的吗？
假设你亲眼目睹上帝的天使，为了引起一个人的注意而杀害了整个城市的无辜婴儿，你还会宣布上帝是正义的吗？
Nope, a baby wouldn’t be doing maths, or capable of praying. When will you people stop with questions stupider than your religion.
不，婴儿不会做数学，也不会祈祷。你们这些人什么时候会停止提出比宗教更愚蠢的问题。
That’s not a miracle. That’s a child prodigy. Every maths teacher dreams of finding a child who it is obvious from an early age is a genius and rapidly surpasses anyone who’s teaching math at an elementary level.
Why don’t you come up with a proper miracle?
这不是奇迹。那是个神童。每个数学老师都梦想找到一个从小就很明显是天才的孩子，他很快就可以超越任何一个小学数学老师。
你为什么不想出一个更合适的奇迹呢？
Snickerburg you are obsessed with posting about babies. You REALLY seem to love them. There must be a word for that. If not we could try and make one. Let’s see, lots of words in English have their roots in ancient languages like Greek and Latin. You love posting questions about babies so let’s use ancient Greek. Babies - paedo, love - phile. That’s it, that is the word for you and your obsession!
题主，你痴迷于发布关于婴儿的难题。你似乎真的很爱他们。这肯定是有道理的。如果不是，我们可以试着做一个。让我们来看看，英语中的许多单词都源自古希腊语和拉丁语。你喜欢发布关于婴儿的问题，所以让我们使用古希腊语。婴儿恋歌，恋恋成狂。就是这样，这就是你和你的痴迷！
Atheists, imagine that you are not being baited by an ignoramus who is obsessed with Christian babies? Would you smile with satisfaction or would you show the world your winning grin?
无神论者，想象一下，你有没有被一个痴迷于基督教婴儿的无知者引诱？你会满意地微笑，还是会向全世界展示你获胜的笑容？
A more reasonable reaction would be to call 911 and report an elaborate hallucination and the possibility of a baby at risk, because the baby might be real.
一个更合理的反应是拨打911，并报告自己有了一个精心制造的幻觉，以及婴儿可能处于危险之中，因为婴儿可能是真实的。
Imagine a theist who could actually ask a question that makes sense but alas we have the run of the mill lunatic fringe clinging onto the last vestiges of what passes for common sense and ask a stupid question like this
想象一下，一个有神论者，他实际上可以问一个有意义的问题，但，唉，我们有一个普通的处在疯子边缘的人物，紧紧抓住常识的最后一丝痕迹，问了这样一个愚蠢的问题。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Atheists, imagine you are tutoring a Christian baby in math
I’m an atheist, not a maths teacher.
You can’t teach maths to a baby.
How is a baby Christian? Babies have no religious beliefs.
and you get stuck on a hard multiplication problem.
If I’m tutoring someone in maths and I get stuck on multiplication, I’m not much of a tutor, am I?
The baby closes his eyes and prays
How do I know the baby is praying?
How does the baby know how to pray?
and then writes down the correct answer
I’ve never heard of a baby that could write.
If I’m stuck on the multiplication, how do I know that the baby has written the correct answer?
If I know the answer is correct, how did I get stuck?
Would you stay an atheist after witnessing this miracle?
What miracle?
How do I know it was a miracle? Maybe it was a guess.
Sorry, nice try but no cigar.
无神论者，想象你在教一个基督教婴儿数学。
我是无神论者，不是数学老师。
我不能教孩子数学。
基督徒婴儿？婴儿没有宗教信仰。
我陷入了一个困难的乘法问题。
如果我在辅导一个人数学，而我被困在乘法上，我就不是一个很好的导师，对吗？
婴儿闭上眼睛祈祷。
我怎么知道婴儿在祈祷？
婴儿如何知道如何祈祷？
然后写下正确答案。
我从来没有听说过会写字的婴儿。
如果我不会这个乘法，我怎么知道宝宝写了正确的答案？
如果我知道答案是正确的，我是怎么被卡住的？
目睹了这一奇迹后，你会继续成为无神论者吗？
什么奇迹？
我怎么知道这是个奇迹？也许他只是蒙对了。
对不起，问题很好，但没有奖品。
Oh no, most certainly not, I would become a believer But let’s break this down.
What parents would be crazy enough to let me tutor their baby in maths? Oh, yeh, Christian parents!
Who gets stuck on the problem, me or the baby? Because your question reads: ‘you get stuck…’
Does the baby pray in a recognisable language that I can understand? For me to convert, I would need to be certain that the correct answer was the direct result of the baby’s prayer.
Is this an elaborate set up to snare another soul for Christ? The whole scenario of the Christian parents bringing their extremely precocious Christian baby to atheist me for tutoring in a subject about which I am not expert reeks of conspiracy. I would need to have them all scanned for hidden cameras and communications devices. Is it a real baby, or just a midget in a nappy?
How can a baby hold a pencil?
and so on and so on and so on…………….
哦，不，当然不会，我会成为一个信徒，但让我们把问题分解：
1、什么样的父母，会疯到让我辅导他们的孩子数学？哦，是的，基督徒父母。
2、谁会被这个问题困扰，我还是孩子？因为你的问题是：“你被乘法难住了……”
3、婴儿是否用我能理解的可识别语言祈祷？为了让我皈依，我需要确定正确的答案是婴儿祈祷的直接结果。
4、这是一个精心设计的圈套，为基督诱捕另一个灵魂吗？基督教父母把他们极度早熟的基督教婴儿带到无神论者我身边，让我辅导一门我并不擅长的学科，这整个场景充满了阴谋的味道。我需要对他们进行扫描，寻找隐藏的摄像头和通信设备。它是一个真正的婴儿，还是一个穿着尿布的侏儒？
5、婴儿怎么能拿铅笔？
6、等等等等……………
Multiplication isn’t hard. The instructions are right there in the problem. If I can’t do it in my head then I’ll use paper. If the baby can solve the problem faster and as accurately than I can then I have done my job and can go home.
乘法并不难。操作就在问题中。如果我不能心算这个乘法，那我就用纸算。如果宝宝能比我更快、更准确地解决问题，那么我也完成了我的工作，可以回家了。
Oh my stars! Its Mark again and for once the baby isn't running away or in peril. However it is a Prodigy it's a baby and it needs tutoring in maths.
And no no it wouldn't make me change my mind, it could be any one of a number of mental tricks to improve mental function.
哦，我的星星！它的标记再次出现，这一次婴儿没有逃跑或处于危险之中。然而，它是一个天才，它是个婴儿，需要数学辅导。
不，不，它不会让我改变主意，它可能是一系列改善心理功能的心理技巧中的任何一种。
‘Babies’ can’t be called Christian as they do not have the mental ability to conceive of a god like character. Or to understand what prayer is. As well, a ‘baby’ is too young to understand math. Maybe you should make up your stupid questions and show them to a friend first before you show your ignorance and stupidity in public.
“婴儿”不能被称为基督徒，因为他们没有想象上帝性格的心理能力。或者理解什么是祈祷。同样，“婴儿”太小，不懂数学。也许你应该先编造你愚蠢的问题，并把它们展示给朋友，然后再在公共场合展示你的无知和愚蠢。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Because he does math in his head? I do too, am I proof of your God? Pretty shitty since I don't believe in it and his evil ways.
因为他在脑子里做数学？我也是，我是你上帝的证明吗？很糟糕，因为我不相信它和他的邪恶行径。
I have never seen such a thing and never will. Babies don't do math. There would be no point in tutoring them. They also do not pray. Even if they did god would not solve their math problem. If this worked we could all skip elementary school and would never need a calculator. Why do you think this ridiculous question would convince anyone of your religion? You need to learn some logic and reasoning.
我从未见过这样的事，也永远不会。婴儿不会数学。辅导他们是没有意义的。他们也不祈祷。即使他们做了，上帝也不会解决他们的数学问题。如果这能奏效，我们都可以跳过小学，永远不需要计算器。为什么你认为这个荒谬的问题会让任何人相信你的宗教？你需要学习一些逻辑和推理。
Babies can’t write or do math
The chances of this happening are statistically zero
1、婴儿不会写字或做数学
2、这种情况发生的概率在统计上为零
Is OP a total and complete moron? Why would anyone tutor a BABY in math? AND get stuck on a hard multiplication problem?
What even IS “a hard multiplication problem”?
This is quite obviously one of the most stupid, moronic, blasphemos question even posted by the troll this year. You’re going straight to hell for insulting math and babies!
题主是一个彻头彻尾的白痴吗？为什么有人会辅导宝宝数学？并陷入一个艰难的乘法问题？
还有，什么是“艰难的乘法问题”？
这显然是今年巨魔发布的最愚蠢、最愚蠢、亵渎神明的问题之一。你会因为侮辱数学和婴儿，而直接下地狱！
Again….
All babies are atheist
Babies don’t do math
I don’t do math
Babies don’t pray
Babies don’t write.
Absolutely because this would just be a weird dream.
再说一次……
1、所有的婴儿都是无神论者
2、婴儿不会数学
3、我不做数学
4、婴儿不祈祷
5、婴儿不会写字
6、当然，这只是一个奇怪的梦
What exactly is the miracle again? That a Christian learnt something? I think you are being too harsh on yourself.
Seriously, if I was showing someone how to do something and then they did it, miracles would not be my first explanation.
奇迹究竟是什么？一个基督徒学到了什么？我觉得你对自己太苛刻了。
说真的，如果我向某人展示如何做某事，然后他们做到了，奇迹不会是我的第一个解释。
Of course I would. Look, multiplication isn’t hard - but I might still get stuck because I’m pants at math. I’m a literature-oriented woman. It was stupid of me to accept the idea of tutoring anyone in math, but I guess I thought I could handle little kiddies’ math. Guess not. That means that anxiety messed with me and I got cross-eyed or something. The baby wisely using prayer to not be contaminated by my anxiety and hence being capable of solving that? Smart of him. Deep breaths would have worked as well. Buddhist mantra. It’s not a miracle.
我当然会。听着，乘法并不难，但我可能还是会被卡住，因为我数学太差了。我是一个注重文学的女人。我真傻，竟然接受自己能去教别人数学的想法，但我想我应该能应付孩子们的数学。我猜这不会改变我的信仰。这意味着焦虑会困扰着我，我会变得斗鸡眼什么的。婴儿明智地使用祈祷来避免被我的焦虑所污染，从而能够解决这个问题？他真聪明。深呼吸也会奏效。佛教咒语也可以。这不是奇迹。
Ooo, ooo, and THEN, the baby says that Evangelical Christians are full of shit, and are thieves preying on ignorant people, draining their bank accounts?
哦，哦，然后，婴儿说福音派基督徒都是狗屎，小偷是在捕食无知的人，榨干他们的银行账户吗？
In this incredibly unlikely set of occurrences?
Sure I would!
I mean, it’s not exactly world peace or healing all the sick is it?!
Someone is struggling with a maths question, said someone meditates and thinks about the problem for a minute, they come up with an answer.
I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty similar to how most people solve a problem. If whispering an otherwise unnecessary incantation helps you to focus, that fine too. Usually I just repeat something along the lines of “think,think,think” or “how does this work”
在这种难以置信的情况下？
我当然会！
我的意思是，这不完全是世界和平或治愈所有病人，是吗？！
有人在数学问题上苦苦挣扎，有人沉思了一下，思考了一分钟，他们找到了答案。
我不知道你的情况，但这与大多数人解决问题的方式非常相似。如果低语一句不必要的咒语有助于你集中注意力，那也没问题。通常我只是重复一些类似“思考，思考，思考”或“这是如何运转的”的话。
Well, I’d wish the baby well because they’re probably about to be hit by a meteorite, or chased by a bear, or something.
好吧，我希望孩子一切都好，因为他们很可能会被陨石击中，或者被熊追赶，或者其他什么。
I don’t see a miracle. I see a person that closed their eyes calmed down and figured out the answer. No supernatural intervention required.
我没有看到奇迹。我看到一个人闭上眼睛冷静了 下来，找到了答案。无需超自然干预。
a) it’s hypothetical.
b) it’s a baby - they will probably not even be able to count to 10.
c) it is most likely a guess if they did know their numbers.
d) how would they even write it down? Here children are only taught how to write stuff after they reach ~ toddler age. That is not a baby.
So yes I would stay an atheist. Smart guy.
a） 这是假设的。
b） 这是一个婴儿，他们可能连数到10都不会。
c） 如果他们真的知道正确的答案，很可能是蒙对的。
d） 他们怎么写下来的？在我们这里，孩子们只有在他们到了蹒跚学步的年龄后，才会被教导如何写字。那不是婴儿。
所以是的，我会继续做无神论者。聪明人。
Is this the grappling gun-using, leopard out-running, snake-wrestling Christian baby you’ve been banging on about lately Mark? Now his parents have hired me to tutor him in maths, presumably because he’s failing his O levels? So what do I do when the power of prayer apparently helps him solve multiplication problems, is that the question? I tear up the paper. Now it’s a little dishonest, sure, but consider:
this is the most sedate and least dangerous endeavor this baby has been engaged in in quite a while now;
why would the parents continue to pay me to tutor if they think baby can simply pray away the dumbs? and
this won’t help baby in the long run Anyways because there really is no such thing as a difficult multiplication problem, you just need to be able to perform the operations in the correct order, it’s a formula that can be learned And you have to show your work anyways on a maths test, so it wouldn’t help baby to be given the answer
这是你最近一直在谈论的抓枪、与豹子奔跑、与蛇摔跤的基督教婴儿吗？现在他的父母雇我来教他数学，大概是因为他的数学水平不及格吧？那么，当祈祷的力量显然能够帮助他解决乘法问题时，我该怎么做呢？我把纸撕碎了。现在这确实有点不诚实，但请考虑：
1、这是这个婴儿在相当长一段时间里，所做的最镇静、最没有危险的努力
2、如果父母认为宝宝可以简单地祈祷，那么他们为什么还要继续付钱让我给他做家教呢？
3、从长远来看，这对宝宝没有任何帮助，因为真的没有难的乘法问题，你只需要能够按照正确的顺序进行运算，这是一个可以学习的公式，你必须在数学考试中展示你的操作，所以只给宝宝答案对宝宝没有帮助。
Just because you have nothing better to do than invent idiotic hypotheticals doesn’t mean I have nothing better to do than address them.
仅仅因为你没有比发明愚蠢的假设更好的事可做，并不意味着我没有比解决这些愚蠢的假设更好的事做。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
First of all why would anyone be tutoring a BABY in math
Secondly, exactly how old is the Baby we’re talking about, if it’s past toddler stage, he or she is ready for kindergarten
Thirdly, if this BABY you refer too is smart enough understand multiplication tables it follows that he or she is clever enough to understand that humanity no longer requires mythology to live our daily lives and wouldn’t be praying to an imaginary being in the first place.
首先，为什么有人要辅导一个宝宝数学。
其次，我们所说的宝宝到底多大了，如果已经过了蹒跚学步阶段，他或她已经准备好上幼儿园了吗。
第三，如果你所指的这个宝宝也足够聪明，能理解乘法表，那么他或她就足够聪明，能够理解人类不再需要神话来生活在我们的日常生活中，也不会一开始就向想象中的存在祈祷。
once again. stupid question. the baby cannot speak, comprehend the difficulties of maths. so i won’t be tutoring it. the fact that you have the education level of a baby is highly concerning though
再一次愚蠢的问题。婴儿不会说话，无法理解数学的困难。所以我不会辅导它。不过，你只有婴儿的教育水平这一事实值得高度关注。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
If there’s a God, He created pointless assholes like you, so, therefore there is no God. Fuck you and your little giggly jerkoff bullshit. Fuck Moderation for letting you continue.
如果有上帝，他创造了像你这样毫无意义的混蛋，所以，没有上帝。X你和你那傻笑的屁话。去他妈的审核，居然让你继续问。
How old is this baby? And why am I attempting to tutor it on a hard multiplication problem? How hard? If it’s single-digit numbers, the baby has a fair chance of hitting the number by random chance.
Ridiculous “gotchas” like this certainly make me want to remain an atheist. I wouldn’t want to be associated with idiots like the questioner.
这个孩子多大了？我为什么要在一道难的乘法题上辅导它呢？有多难？如果是个位数的数字，婴儿很有可能随机命中这个数字。
像这样可笑的“陷阱”当然让我想继续成为无神论者。我不想和提问者这样的白痴联系在一起。
The baby read this question and shit himself.Think he's trying to tell you something.
婴儿读了这个问题，然后就拉了一坨大便。他想告诉你什么？
OK, winner! Dumbest hypothetical of the day,
好的，你赢了！今天最愚蠢的假设。
Drongo, imagine you stopped making stupid posts. Can you imagine how much better things would be?
题主，想象你不再发愚蠢的帖子了。你能想象会有多好吗？