QA问答：超过40岁的人来说说，你们对年轻人最大的困惑是什么？
For those of you over 40, what is it that confuses you the most about young people?
译文简介
他们专注于所有人的公平。
什么是公平？对每个人都公平的地方，每个人都在同一个地方开始和结束。结果平等。
不幸的是，这只是个白日梦。事情不公平，也永远不会公平。
正文翻译
For those of you over 40, what is it that confuses you the most about young people?
超过40岁的人来说说，你们对年轻人最大的困惑是什么？
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Their preoccupation with equity for all.
What is equity? It’s making it to where things are fair for everyone, where everyone starts and ends at the same place. Equality of outcome.
Unfortunately, it’s a pipe dream. Things are not, and can never be, fair.
We have over 7 billion people on this planet. That’s over 7 billion hopes, dreams, perspectives, opinions, and life experiences. And each one is as unique as each individual.
We could make it where all things start as equal, but by the world’s very nature some will thrive, and some will not. A lot of it has to do with personal choices and simple clueless luck.
I could give a group of people $1000 each to get started in life and each person will have a different outcome.
他们专注于所有人的公平。
什么是公平？对每个人都公平的地方，每个人都在同一个地方开始和结束。结果平等。
不幸的是，这只是个白日梦。世界不公平，也永远不会公平。
我们这个星球上有70多亿人。这是超过70亿的希望、梦想、观点、意见和生活经历。每个人都是独一无二的。
我们可以在所有事物开始时都是平等的，但根据世界的本质，有些人会茁壮成长，有些人则不会。这在很大程度上与个人选择和简单的运气有关。
我可以给一群人每人1000美元，让他们开始生活，每个人都会有不同的结果。
One will invest and lose their shirt.
One will pay off bills and be okay for awhile, but eventually will be poor again.
One will buy lottery tickets and become a millionaire.
One will become an alcoholic.
One will put toward a college fund and have a good, if not exceptional, life.
One will travel the world.
One will buy a vehicle using it as a down payment and end up wrecking and disabling themselves.
一个人将投资并致富。
一个人会投资，然后倾家荡产。
一个人会清空购物车，暂时没事，但最终会再次贫穷。
一个人会买彩票，成为百万富翁。
一个人会成为酒鬼。
一个人将用钱去上大学，并拥有一个美好的生活，如果不是例外的话。
一个人将周游世界。
一个人会买一辆车，用它作为首付款，最终导致自己报废和致残。
Just because I’m rich doesn’t mean I’m the one that made you poor, or that I ripped off somebody to get that way.
Just because I have accrued more possessions you can’t seem to attain doesn’t mean I owe you a part of my stuff and couching it as “you should show some compassion to me” is a petulant whine.
Invoking privilege is the ranting of a self-entitled jerk.
You can’t help the circumstances you were born into. The best you can do is to improve the hand you are dealt. You don’t do that by whining about fairness and expecting society to pick up your slack. The world doesn’t care about an individual’s petty concerns and will roll over you if you insist it do so.
生活是混乱而复杂的。这当然不公平。
仅仅因为我有钱，并不意味着我是那个让你变穷的人，也不意味着我骗了别人。
仅仅因为我积累了更多你似乎无法获得的财产，并不意味着我欠你，别用“你应该对我表现出一些同情”，来表达这种愤怒的抱怨。
援用特权是一个自以为是的混蛋的咆哮。
你无法控制你出生的环境。你所能做的最好的事情就是改善你的牌局。你无法通过抱怨不公平，期望社会收拾你的懈怠，来做到这一点。这个世界不关心你的个人小问题，如果你坚持这样做，它会碾压你。
If you act like a victor, you’ll be one.
If you act like a victim, you’ll never get anywhere…and it will be all your fault.
Only true victims need help, and the world is smart enough to distinguish between an actual one and a self-proclaimed one.
Life ain’t fair, kiddo. Quit trying to force it to. You’ll be better off in the long run.
做一个正派的人，收拾自己的烂摊子，然后让你的角落变得更好一点。但是不要期望别人这样做，因为他们只会归因于你。
如果你表现得像个胜利者，你就会成为胜利者。
如果你表现得像个受害者，你将一事无成……这都是你的错。
只有真正的受害者需要帮助，这个世界足够聪明，可以区分真实的受害者和自称的受害者。
生活是不公平的，孩子。不要试图强迫它。从长远来看，你会过得更好。
I don't know if it confuses me, but what surprises me most is how switched on they seem.
Sorry to be a traitor to us elders, but I can't really agree with people who moan about kids these days. They seem pretty sharp, pretty attuned to things, pretty impatient with the bullshit.
Yes, they can seem a bit shallow: too obsessed with trivialities, too influenced by trends. But:
A) Well, obviously. They're kids.
B) How could they not seem a bit shallow, when they've grown up in a world literally made of screens?
我不知道这算不算困惑，但最让我惊讶的是，他们看起来是是多么的活跃。
很抱歉，成为了长辈中的叛徒，但我真的不同意那些抱怨孩子的人。孩子们看起来很敏锐，对事物很敏感，对废话很不耐烦。
是的，他们可能看起来点肤浅：太执着于琐事，太容易受潮流影响。但：
1、嗯，很明显。他们是孩子。
2、当他们在一个完全由屏幕构成的世界中长大时，他们怎么能不显得有点肤浅呢？
I shudder to think what I would have looked like if people were filming my teenage years.
The only footage I can remember from my misspent youth would be a house party where someone had a camcorder (remember them?)
And thank God no one had phones with cameras, or I would be a global laughing stock, immortalised in a series of world-famous memes
Not these kids. They're being all supercool out here, Irish dancing to Savage.
Honestly, the kids are alright.
And this Gen X can't wait for them to take over running the planet.
They can't do much worse than the boomers, after all, and I'm pretty sure they’ve got this.
说起来，天知道他们是如何在一个记录他们所做的一切的世界里保持一点点体面的。
一想到如果有人在拍摄我的青少年时期，我会是什么样子，我就不寒而栗。
我唯一能记得的，关于我度过青春时光的镜头，是一个家庭聚会，有人拿着摄像机（还记得他们吗？）
感谢上帝，那时没人拥带摄像头的手机，否则我将成为全球笑柄，在一系列举世闻名的表情包中永垂不朽。
不是孩子的问题，他们超级酷，看这个视频，一个爱尔兰人凶残的跳舞：链接。
老实说，孩子们都很好。
而这个X 世代等不及他们接管这个星球。
毕竟，他们不会比婴儿潮一代做得更糟，而且我很确定他们已经开始做了。
I’m barely over 40. I do have a lot of experience with younger people, though, as both a parent and a teacher.
“Confusion” might be the wrong word for this, because I know why they do it, but I don’t understand why younger people seem to struggle to see it themselves. And you can’t fix a problem if you can’t even see it. What I’m talking about is this phenomenon:
The rejection of cultural norms, traditions, and institutions, coupled with complaining about not having the things that those things brought with them.
我还不到 40 岁。不过，作为父母和老师，我确实有很多与年轻人打交道的经验。
“困惑”这个词可能用错了，因为我知道他们为什么这样做，但我不明白为什么年轻人自己似乎很难搞明白这些。如果您看不到问题，就无法解决问题。我说的是这种现象：
拒绝文化规范、传统和制度，却又抱怨文化、传统、制度等带来的东西，他们享有不了。
Espouse open hostility towards organized religion, then complain about a lack of meaning in their lives, depression, and a lack of social cohesion for the greater good.
Reject the traditional dating/courtship model, then complain about “modern dating” and the lack of people who want “serious relationships.”
Bounce from job to job for slightly more income, rather than being patient and working their way up the ladder at their current employer, then complain about their lack of job stability or their employer’s hesitance to invest in them as an employee.
Spend their teens and early 20s mocking the idea of owning a home, making zero effort to save for one, then spending their late 20s complain that they can’t afford a home.
Get a degree in a field that doesn’t offer many job prospects, then complain about not being able to find a job that utilizes your degree.
Espouse the idea that two-parent households are unnecessary in the modern world, and primarily existed in the past because women didn’t have many other options, then complain about the realities of single parenthood and trying to juggle a job and a child and other domestic responsibilities.
Reject traditional ideas of masculinity or femininity, then complain that they can’t find a partner who has traditionally masculine or feminine traits themselves.
Actually, all of those can be summed up on one example:
Openly rejecting their grandparents’ lifestyles, then complaining about not having the things that their grandparents had.
例如，我认识的年轻人（30 岁以下）会做以下事情：
1、对有组织的宗教，公开表示敌意，然后抱怨他们的生活缺乏意义、抑郁和缺乏社会凝聚力。
2、拒绝传统的约会、求爱模式，然后抱怨“现代约会”和缺乏想要“认真关系”的人。
3、从一份工作跳到另一份工作以获得稍微多一点的收入，而不是耐心地在他们现在的雇主那里努力向上爬，然后抱怨他们缺乏工作稳定性，或他们的雇主不愿将他们作为雇员投资。
4、十几岁和二十出头的人嘲笑拥一套房子的想法，为买房付出零努力，然后二十多岁的人抱怨买不起房子。
5、在一个没有很多工作前景的领域获得学位，然后抱怨找不到可以利用你的学位的工作。
6、提出一种观点，即双亲家庭在现代世界是不必要的，并且主要存在于过去，因为女性没有太多其他选择，然后抱怨单亲家庭的现实，试图兼顾工作、孩子和其他家庭责任。
7、拒绝传统的男性气质或女性气质观念，然后抱怨找不到自己具传统男性气质或女性气质的伴侣。
实际上，所这些都可以用一个例子来概括：
公开拒绝他们祖父母的生活方式，然后抱怨没有他们祖父母拥有的东西。
My rebellious phase didn’t last into my 20s, and I’m a happier person for it now. So what confuses me (or, disappoints me) is when I see people well into their late 20s or older who seem to be still in their teenage rebellion phase.
Them: I wish there were a way for the community to come together and help the people in that homeless encampment in the park.
Me: Several churches around here provide meals for the homeless, and give them tents, and offer other important services. They’re always looking for volunteers or donations.
Them: I quit listening when you said “churches.”
Also them: I just wish there were a way we could all come together and help those people… If only there were some way to do that.
我想我听起来像个标准的脾气暴躁的人。我很好。在我十几岁的时候，我就拒绝了我父母的一些价值观。这是一个阶段，我从中成长。到我 20 岁的时候，我意识到我的父母和他们的父母一样，就像历史上大多数父母一样，知道他们在做什么。他们的价值观、文化规范和传统都有很好的理由。为他们和我的祖父母而存在的机构，有着非常重要的目的。
我的叛逆期并没持续到 20 多岁，现在我因此变得更快乐了。所以让我感到困惑（或者，让我失望）的是，当我看到人们在 20 多岁或更大年龄时，似乎仍处于青少年叛逆阶段。
他们：我希望社区团结起来，帮助公园里那个无家可归者。
我：这附近的几个教堂为无家可归者提供膳食，为他们提供帐篷，并提供其他重要服务。他们一直在寻找志愿者或捐款。
他们：当你说“教会”时，我不听了。
还是他们：我只是希望有一种方法，我们可以聚在一起帮助那些人……要是有办法的话就好了。
I’m 59.
Well not much confuses me about young folks except for one thing:
The tendency to be loud in public and to like being in loud spaces.
I get wanting to try drugs. I get wanting to have sex with whomever you want when you want to. I get tattoos. I get fashion choices like colored hair, piercings, or whatever clothing trends you do. I get participating in social media like Twitter and TikTok. From my vantage point as an older person, I don’t necessarily think some of the stuff you do is conducive to having a life that is as productive as it can be. I think/know some of it can be dangerous or life altering. And of course, being an old geezer means I don’t do a lot of that stuff at all because it either doesn’t interest me or I consider it harmful, but it doesn’t confuse me WHY young people do what they do, and frankly, you do you in those areas. Just be careful.
我今年 59 岁。
好吧，除了一件事外，我对年轻人并没有太多困惑：
在公共场合大声喧哗，并喜欢在喧闹的地方。
“我开始想尝试毒品。我希望我能在任何时候任何地方和任何我想的人发生性关系。我纹身。我有一些时尚选择，比如彩色头发、穿孔，或者我喜欢的任何服装潮流。我开始参与 Twitter 和 TikTok 等社交媒体。”
从我作为老年人的角度来看，我不一定认为你所做的某些事情有助于，让你过上尽可能富有成效的生活。我认为/知道，其中一些可能是危险的，或可以改变生活的。当然，作为一个老头，意味着我根本不能做很多这样的事情，因为我不感兴趣，或者我认为它有害，但这并没有让我感到困惑，为什么年轻人会做他们所做的事情，坦率地说，你尽管去做，但是要小心。
Don’t parents teach kids about “indoor voices” anymore? Why in the hell do you have to be so loud? Are you looking for attention or validation? Are you trying to be a star where you are? Because I can think of no other reason for being so loud in a restaurant or a mall or anywhere else where everyone in that space can literally hear you. Nobody wants to hear your conversation or your loud laughing. Why do you think everyone around you needs to hear you? It’s annoying. Keep it to yourself and the people who are with you.
It’s literally to the point where I cringe when I see a group of young people sit next to me in a restaurant. I know the odds are very high I will be hearing screaming and loud laughing for the next half hour or so, and those odds are proportional to the size of the group. I don’t get that from people older than 30 or so ever (unless they are inebriated). They know how to enjoy themselves without screaming all over the place and laughing like crazy people.
但我不明白为什么年轻人要在公共场所谈笑风生，用几乎每个人都能听到的声音。我去餐馆，我经常听到有人大笑、说话、喊叫，30岁以下的人这么做的更为常见。我随处都能听到他们的声音，即使他们坐在离我50英尺远的不同位置。
父母不再教育孩子“室内声音”了吗？你到底为什么要这么大声？你在寻求关注或认可吗？你想成为现在的明星吗？因为我想不出在餐厅、商场或其他任何地方，让每个人都能听到你的声音，那么大声的原因。没有人想听你的谈话或你的大笑。为什么你认为你周围的人都需要听你说话？这很烦人。把它留给你自己和和你在一起的人。
当我看到一群年轻人在餐馆里坐在我旁边时，我真的感到很害怕。我知道，在接下来的半个小时左右，我会听到尖叫、大笑的可能性很高，而且这种可能性与团队的规模成正比。我从来没有从30岁左右的人那里得到过（除非他们喝醉了）。他们知道如何享受自己，而不会像疯子一样到处尖叫和大笑。
They don't seem to be learning a damn thing in school.
Perfect example: I went to college when I retired from the military. I started in fall 2016 at 39 years old. I had an English class my first semester and we had to write an essay. The professor laid out everything we need to write an essay in the format she wanted. I had tons of 18 year Olds that just graduated HS a few months before asking me what we need to do and how to write an essay. I looked at most of them and asked them if they learned anything in HS and most said they never wrote essays in school. I'm convinced these kids ain't learning shit. I haven't been to school in almost 20 years after I graduated and they are asking me what to do so I told most of them to get off of their phones during class and pay attention. Lol.
他们在学校似乎一点都没学到。
完美的例子：我从军队退役时上了大学。我从2016年秋天开始，当时39岁。我第一学期上了英语课，我们不得不写一篇论文。教授按她想要的格式，列出了我们写论文所需的一切。我认识很多18岁的孩子，几个月前刚从HS毕业，然后问我需要做什么以及如何写一篇文章。我看着他们中的大多数人，问他们在HS中学到了什么？大多数人说他们在学校从未写过论文。我确信这些孩子不会学坏东西。我毕业后近20年没去学校了，他们问我该怎么做，所以我告诉他们中的大多数人在上课时不要玩手机，要集中注意力。哈哈哈。
I’m not at all confused by young people. I’m impressed!
My son watched my wife and I work 60 hour weeks developing games for below-market salaries, then get laid off with no compensation. For some strange reason, even though he loves both tabletop and video games, he decided that he had no interest in working in the game industry.
He married his college sweetheart, and like us, waited until after 30 to have a child. In the meantime, they take vacations at least twice a year, have traveled extensively, and fill their lives with experiences. Somehow they also manage to hold down good jobs.
They are now in their mid-30’s. They rent an apartment, and have decided that they will never be able to afford their own home. I offered them ours - out in the country - and they said, “No, thanks.” They like city life.
In other words, they have a sensible balance of work, family, travel, and play. They will have no regrets about missed experiences when they’re older. Their friends seem to balance life similarly - Some of them are well off, some are struggling, but nobody has given up, and none of them have subjected themselves to working endless hours at meaningless jobs.
Young adults in my area seem to have a similar sense of work-life balance. They recognize that everyone has challenges, and that you work to overcome your challenges. They all seem happy.
I’m impressed by the young people I know.
我不对年轻人感到困惑，我对他们印象深刻！
我儿子看着我和妻子每周工作60小时，以低于市场的工资开发游戏，然后被解雇，没有补偿。出于某种奇怪的原因，他既喜欢桌面游戏，也喜欢电子游戏，他做出决定，对游戏行业的工作没有兴趣了。
他和大学时的恋人结婚了，和我们一样，一直等到30岁以后才有了孩子。与此同时，他们每年至少休假两次，广泛旅行，并用各种经历来充实自己的生活。他们也设法保住了好工作。
他们现在30多岁。他们租了一套公寓，并决定永远不买自己的房子。我把我们的——在乡下的房子——送给他们，他们说：“不，谢谢。”他们喜欢城市生活。
换言之，他们在工作、家庭、旅行和娱乐方面取得了合理的平衡。他们长大后不会对错过的经历感到遗憾。他们的朋友似乎也在平衡生活——他们中的一些人过得很好，一些人在挣扎，但没有人放弃，他们中的任何人都没有让自己在无意义的工作中无休止地工作。
我所在地区的年轻人似乎也有类似的工作与生活平衡。他们认识到每个人都有人生挑战，你要努力克服挑战。他们看起来都很开心。
我认识的年轻人给我留下了深刻印象。
Selfies. And streaks.
When we were kids, not many people took photos except when you’re on holiday or at a party. Occasionally, someone artsy might come along with a Polaroid camera and you’d piss around with it for a bit. But I don’t ever remember taking a photo of myself. That would just be awkward and people would think you were weird.
But my kids take photos of themselves ALL THE TIME. And it’s basically the same photo. If you want to know what you look like… there’s a mirror! Why are you taking a photo of yourself every day? Is it like some sort of long-term art project, where you progressively document your descent into middle age? Cos trust me, that would be depressing as f**k.
“No dad, it’s for my streaks”
In other words, they take a photo of themselves and send it to their friends. And their friends take photos of themselves and send it to them. And yeah, it’s the same pose. And yeah, they see them at school anyway. But you have to do it every day. Because OH MY GOD, YOU CAN’T BREAK A STREAK!!.
There have been situations where my daughter has been in an actual war with another girl, to the point where they want to smash each other's heads in, but they still send each other selfies to maintain the streak.
自拍。还有连胜。
当我们还是孩子的时候，除非你在度假或聚会，没有多少人拍照。偶尔，某个文艺范儿可能会带着宝丽来相机来，你会拿着它胡闹一会。但我不记得自己给自己拍过照片。那会很尴尬，人们会觉得你很奇怪。
但我的孩子们一直在自拍。基本上是同一张照片。如果你想知道你长什么样……还有镜子！你为什么每天都要给自己拍照？这是否像某种长期的艺术项目，你逐渐记录自己步入中年的经历？相信我，这会让人沮丧。
“不，爸爸，这是为了我的连胜。”
换言之，他们拍下自己的照片并将其发送给朋友。他们的朋友给自己拍照并发给他们。是的，都是同一个姿势。是的，不管怎样，他们在学校看到他们。但你必须每天都这样做。因为我的天啊，你不能打破连胜！！
有些情况下，我的女儿与另一个女孩发生了实际的战争，以至于他们想砸对方的头，但他们仍然互相发送自拍，以保持连胜。
I'm about to turn 48. I'm not young, I guess, but I'm not old, either. Middle-aged.
I can't say that I am particularly confused by young people. I have a 19-year-old who talks to me about his life quite a bit, so that probably gives me some perspective. But really, I remember well being that age. It doesn't feel as long ago to me as it is. I can remember the thoughts I had and the emotions I felt.
There is new technology, but that is superficial. And I'm pretty well-versed in it anyway, so I don't find it confusing. Underneath, young people of today aren't much different than young people have ever been. They are just dealing with different problems and using different tools.
我快 48 岁了。我想我不年轻了，但也不老。中年吧。
我不能说我对年轻人特别困惑。一个 19 岁的年轻人经常和我谈论他的生活，所以这可能给了我一些看法。但说真的，我还记得那个年纪。它对我来说并不那么久远。我能记得我的想法和我的感受。
有新东西，但那只是表面。无论如何，我对它相当精通，所以我不觉得它令人困惑。实际上，现在的年轻人和以前的年轻人没有太大不同。他们只是在处理不同的问题，使用不同的工具。
The almost complete lack of interest in sex and flirtation among younger people, especially among young men. I spend a fair bit of time around younger men and teenagers and almost never see them checking out young women, even scantily-clad younger women. Girls are less flirtatious as well, but a plurality of young men in my little neck of the world seem to regard women as unwelcome distraction from playing video games.
Looking back, when my hormones were raging I can’t imagine staring at a phone instead of young females, but I guess times have changed.
年轻人，尤其是年轻男性，对性爱和调情几乎完全没兴趣。我花了相当多的时间在年轻男人和青少年身边，几乎从未见过他们关注年轻女性，甚至是衣着暴露的年轻女性。女孩也不那么喜欢打情骂俏了。在我小小的认知中，许多年轻男人似乎认为女人是不受欢迎的，居然不喜欢玩电子游戏。
回想起来，当我的荷尔蒙肆虐时，我无法想象，自己只是盯着手机，而不是年轻女性，我想，时代已经改变了。