国外QA问答：突然发现我的妻子，曾经是个男人，我该怎么办？
I just found out my wife was born a man, what should I do?
译文简介
兄弟，
我以前被骗过，大约50美元。我坦白，我是个白痴。
但是你这个？
这远远超出了我当初被骗的情况。就算我被骗了100万美元，也没有这么糟糕啊。
你需要问的问题是：对于这件事情，你与你妻子之间为何没有坦诚的交谈过？
你没有看到过她的身份证吗？
她从来就没有告诉过你小时候的事情吗？
她从来没有给你看过她的童年照片吗？这是每对夫妇都会做的啊。
你从来没有和她父母谈过吗？
你做过这些吗？
哦，拜托，这不是一个适合作为恶作剧的问题，这是一个比你被骗了100万还要糟糕的问题。
正文翻译
I just found out my wife was born a man, what should I do?
突然发现我的妻子，曾经是个男人，我该怎么办？
评论翻译
很赞 ( 4 )
收藏
Dude.
I’ve been cheated before, to the tune of $50. I will come clean, I was an idiot.
But this?
This is way more than my pay grade to be empathetic to. Even if I got cheated $1 million, it still won’t be as bad as this.
The question you need to ask is, how did you not have an honest conversation about your wife being a transgender woman?
Did you never see her ID fall out?
Did she NEVER tell you anything about her time as a boy?
Did she NEVER show you her childhood pictures, which is something every couple sees?
Did you NEVER talk to her parents?
Did you?
Oh come on, this is either a troll question or you’re incredibly… worse than someone who gets cheated $1 million.
兄弟，
我以前被骗过，大约50美元。我坦白，我是个白痴。
但是你这个？
这远远超出了我当初被骗的情况。就算我被骗了100万美元，也没有这么糟糕啊。
你需要问的问题是：对于这件事情，你与你妻子之间为何没有坦诚的交谈过？
你没有看到过她的身份证吗？
她从来就没有告诉过你小时候的事情吗？
她从来没有给你看过她的童年照片吗？这是每对夫妇都会做的啊。
你从来没有和她父母谈过吗？
你做过这些吗？
哦，拜托，这不是一个适合作为恶作剧的问题，这是一个比你被骗了100万还要糟糕的问题。
Too bad you two did not bother to have an open and honest discussion about this before you married. I cannot imagine a trans person not being honest about their limitations, such as being able to produce a biological child. That is a very big and important issue in making a family.
Your marriage was doomed from the start if you two were not able to be honest with each other. You should not have married someone you could not be open with. She should not have married you while keeping such an important issue secret.
No one should say that you should not marry or should not have married a transgender person, but you should not marry someone you cannot be honest and open with, and who would not be honest and open with you.
I strongly suspect that this is a troll question. Transgender surgery is the last step of a years long process of counseling therapy and transformation. Being honest with potential romantic partners is usually emphasized.
太糟糕了，你们两个在结婚之前，没有就这件事进行公开和诚实的讨论。我无法想象一个跨性别者对自身局限性的隐瞒，比如不能够生育一个亲生子女。这是组建家庭的一个非常重大和重要的问题。
如果你们两个不能坦诚相待，你们的婚姻从一开始就注定是错误的。你不应该和一个不能和你开诚公布的人结婚。她不应该在对这么重要的问题保密的情况下嫁给你。
不是说变性人不能结婚，而是你不应该和一个不能坦诚相待的人结婚，一个不会对你坦诚相见的人。
我强烈怀疑这是一个恶作剧的问题。变性手术是长达数年的咨询治疗和转变过程的最后一步。通常强调对潜在的浪漫伴侣的坦诚相待。
Unless you married a mail-order bride that you had never met before, unless you never talked to your wife prior to the wedding, either in person or through social media, unless you never saw your wife’s body prior to the wedding, unless you never talked about her life prior to the wedding, unless you never met her friends, her family, prior to the wedding, there is no way that this comes as a surprise. If all or any of the aforementioned conditions are true, than you are either a complete idiot or way too naive and ignorant of the world for your own good. This is a troll question.
除非你娶了一个你以前从未见过的邮购新娘，除非你在婚礼前从未与妻子交谈过，无论是亲自还是通过社交媒体，除非你从未在婚礼前看到过妻子的身体，除非你从来没有在婚礼前谈论过她的生活，除非你从没在婚礼前见过她的朋友和家人，就可能发生这么让人惊讶的事情。如果上述所有或任何一个条件都是真的，那么你要么是一个彻头彻尾的白痴，要么太天真，对这个世界一无所知。这是一个钓鱼问题。
Nothing. Keep doing what you were doing. Love her. There’s nothing wrong with that.
什么都不需要做，继续做你在做的事。爱她。这没什么错。
Are you blind and stupid, or just stupid?
你是又瞎又傻，还是仅仅只是傻？
She was not a man then, or now, and she never was. She has always been female.
I think it must be awful — just terrible every day — to be female carting around a boy’s body and listening to all the pressure to be boy-like when that is the opposite of what is true.
When your wife was a child, she was female in her brain, in her perceptions, her wishes, and in her future. What she had was courage to make her truth come out.
Now that she is an adult, she is still female. You are lucky to have a courageous woman who knew exactly who she was and who she wasn’t from the beginning.
Don’t be a dork! Your wife has been female her whole life. Cherish her. Recognize her goodness and her courage, and be proud of her.
That is what you should do.
And buy her flowers every week.
她当时或现在都不是男人，而且她从来都不是男人。她一直是女性。
我认为，当一个女人在男孩的身体里兜兜转转，倾听所有的压力，成为一个男孩的样子，这一定很可怕，每天都很可怕。
当你的妻子还是个孩子的时候，她在她的大脑中，在她的认知中，在他的愿望中，在他的未来中，她都是女性。她所拥有的是敢于说出真相的勇气。
现在她已经成年了，她仍然是女性。你很幸运拥有一个勇敢的女人，她从一开始就知道自己是谁，也知道自己不是谁。
别傻了！你妻子一生都是女性。珍惜她。认识到她的善良和勇气，并为她感到骄傲。
这是你应该做的。
每周给她买花。
I find it hard to believe that your wife did not disclose this before marriage nor that there were not any indications beforehand that she had a past that she was hiding.
Anyway, I will play along and act like this is real.
The first thing I would suggest is counseling for both of you, especially her. If she is hiding such a significant portion of her life from you, she likely has some issues that need to be worked through with great care.
Counseling would be beneficial for you since you have had your trust broken in a very big way. I am hoping that you would have married her regardless of her past, but I can certainly understand if you now feel that you married a person who is not who you thought they were.
我很难相信你的妻子在婚前没有透露这件事，也很难相信事先没有任何迹象表明她有隐瞒的过去。
不管怎样，我会配合，表现出这个问题是认真的。
我建议的第一件事是：你们俩，特别是她去做个心理咨询。如果她对你隐瞒了她生命中如此重要的一部分，她可能有一些问题需要非常小心地解决。
咨询对你是有益的，因为你的信任在很大程度上被打破了。我希望不管她的过去如何，你都不后悔和他结婚，但如果你现在觉得你娶给了一个与你想象中不一样的人，我当然可以理解。
If you love her/him nothing. I suspect that if your wife was born a man and was not a post operative transsexual you would know nothing about it. If they were preop you should have known after dating awhile as most long term partners become sexually intimate after dating awhile. If you love them stay with them and adopt a child if you want one (or have a surrogate mother carry your child), If you can't work around that I suppose it would be best for both of you if you leave.
如果你爱她/他，什么都不需要做。我很怀疑，你的妻子出生的时候是男人，手术后成了变性人，而你却对此一无所知。如果你们约会过，在约会过后，你就应该知道，因为大多数的长期伴侣在约会后都会发生性亲密。如果你爱他，就留在他身边，如果你想要一个孩子，就收养一个（或者代孕），如果你不想接受这些问题，那么分开是最好的选择。
What do you want to do ? Run - freak out - scream - panic ?
Calm down. The person you are married to is a woman - she has all the female parts - - you’ve been there.
She may have been born a man but she wasn’t one.
You married her for a reason, She’s your soulmate, she loves you, she wants you - that hasn’t changed. What’s changed is your mind. You still love her as a woman.
THAT’S WHAT SHE IS !!!!
She’s a woman that adjusted the envelope that surrounded her and now she’s what she always knew she was.
Accept it. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t.
你想做什么？奔跑——疯狂——尖叫——恐慌？
冷静下来！和你结婚的人是一个女人——她拥有所有的女性部分——你去过那里。
她可能生来时是个男人，但她现在不是。
你娶她是有原因的，她是你的灵魂伴侣，她爱你，她想要你——这一切都没有改变。改变的是你的想法。你仍然把她当做一个女人来爱他。
这就是她！！！！
她是一个调整了包裹她的皮囊的女人，现在她成了她一直知道的样子。
接受它。如果你不这样做，你会后悔一辈子的。
Go back to bed.
You’ve been married already, not much else to do here’s a secret:
I know you love her!
Haha! You love her!
You love her!
That means you dated, became intimate with her and shared so much of yourself, and now you find out she was born male.
How has that changed the past? Zip.
Go back to bed.
回去睡觉吧。
你已经结婚了，没有什么好做的了，这是一个秘密：
我知道你爱她！
哈哈！你爱她！
你爱她！
这意味着你约会了，和她变得亲密了，分享了很多你自己，现在你发现她出生的时候是男性。
这能改变过去吗？对此保密。
回去睡觉吧。
You should handle it. But not share this info with anyone. Either stay and embrace your life and lie to everyone. Or you could leave and just tell everyone she he died in a plane crash.
你要处理好这件事。不要和任何人分享这些信息。要么留下来拥抱你的生活，对每个人撒谎，要么选择离开，告诉所有人他死于飞机失事。
I see 2 issues here. First, why didn't she tell you before marrying you? That shows a tendency toward deviousness that's going to cloud your marriage, should you decide to stay with her. Second, you need to figure out if she being transgendered matters to you. For example, if you came into the marriage wanting children, then, obviously, you married the wrong woman. If you find you don't care about all that and love her as she is now, then you still have to deal with the deviousness and the lack of trust you now feel. I recommend talking it all over with a licensed therapist. Good luck.
我在这里看到两个问题。首先，她为什么在嫁给你之前不告诉你？这表明，如果你决定和她在一起，你的婚姻会产生阴影。其次，你需要弄清楚，他是变性人这件事情对你的重要程度。例如，如果你结婚是想要孩子，那么很明显，你娶错了女人。如果你发现你不在乎这一切，并像以前一样爱她，那么你仍然需要面对你现在感觉到的狡猾和缺乏信任。我建议你和有执照的治疗师好好谈谈。祝你好运。
You’re not going to have kids, so if that’s an issue, you’ll have to adopt. If adoption is out of the question and you really want kids, then you’ll have to divorce.
你不会有孩子，所以如果这是一个问题，你必须收养一个。如果收养是不可能的，而你真的想要孩子，那么你必须离婚。
If this question is really sincere, I’d say what you do about it depends on how you feel about it. Some people would find it to be so off-putting that it would be an immediate deal breaker.
As has already been stated, your wife should have told you about this upfront—before the marriage. That she didn’t do that is dishonest, to say the very least. She’s also incapable of giving you children, in case that wasn’t mentioned either.
Regardless of what anyone else here says, your wife completely misrepresented herself. I know what I would do, if it were me, but you’re the only one who can decide what would work best for you.
如果这个问题真的很真诚，我会说你对此做什么取决于你对此的感受。有些人会觉得这太令人讨厌了，以至于他会立即离婚。
如前所述，你的妻子应该在结婚前提前告诉你这件事。至少可以说，她没有这么做是不诚实的。她也没有能力给你生孩子，万一这也没有提到。
不管这里的其他人怎么说，你妻子完全隐瞒了自己的信息。如果是我，我知道我会做什么，但你是唯一能决定，什么才是最适合你的人。
You just found out? Seriously?
how is the legal position where you live? Technically, you married a man. Is that legal? If not, then you will not be legally married.
Either way, good luck!
你刚刚发现的？认真的吗？
你居住的法律是如何规定的？严格来说，你娶了一个男人，这合法吗？如果不合法，那么婚姻就无效了。
不管怎样，祝你好运！
Troll question???
Go and talk to a professional marriage-councilor immediately, not a bunch of know-nothings on the internet. We sit behind keyboards and pretend we help people when there are real people out there who at least get paid to pretend to help people. They have financial interest in your well being whereas I do not and therefor am not obligated to give you good advice.
My advice: Avoid dealing with the situation entirely. Sneak away in the dead of night. Immediately marry someone who you can put up with for a few years. Move to Cuba and start a new life there. Pretend the whole situation never happened. Die from rampant alcoholism 3 years later.
钓鱼问题？？？
马上去和一位专业的婚姻顾问谈谈，而不是在网上问一堆什么都不懂的人。我们坐在键盘后面，假装我们在帮助别人，而外面有真正的，至少可以得到报酬，假装帮助别人的人。他们对你的健康有经济利益，而我没有，因此没有义务给你好的建议。
我的建议是：完全避免处理这种情况。夜深人静时偷偷溜走。立即娶给一个你能忍受几年的人。搬到古巴，在那里开始新的生活。假装整个事情从未发生过。3年后死于酗酒。
Nothing. Of course, she should have been upfront, but had you not known, you would have loved her all the same, right?
Talk to her. Have an honest conversation. But I definitely recommend taking time to talk and think, and don’t act rashly. This is someone you married because you love them. What she was born as doesn’t matter, because that is not who she is. That is not who she ever was. She has, and always will be a woman. What they identified her as at birth is not defining of her. That’s something that is important to remember.
什么都不做，当然，她应该坦诚相待，但如果你不知道，你会一直爱她，对吧？
和她谈谈。坦诚交谈。但我绝对建议你花时间去思考后再做决定，不要轻举妄动。这是一个你因为爱而和他结婚的人。她出生时的样子并不重要，因为那不是她现在的样子，那不是她曾经的样子。她一直是，而且永远是一个女人。他们认定她出生时的身份并不是对她的定义。这是需要记住的重要内容。
This is quite a betrayal by your partner. They should have advised you of this very significant piece of information from the very start, so that you could choose your own response. Now you’re finding out after the fact, after you’re married. You will have to have the freedom to decide if you will stay because basically you married under false pretences.
这是你伴侣的背叛。他们应该从一开始就告诉你这条非常重要的信息，这样你就可以选择自己的回应。现在你结婚后才知道。你有自由决定是否留下来，因为基本上你是在虚假的情况下结婚的。
Divorce IT ASAP! IT lied and more so Shim is a dude no matter what the other idiots are trying to explain away that there is not two genders! Damn remember when gender was decided by a penis or a vagina and not a idea?
尽快与她离婚！她撒谎了，更重要的是，不管其他白痴试图解释什么，她都是个男人，因为没有两种性别的人！该死的，还记得性别是由阴茎或阴道决定的，而不是一个想法吗？
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
What difference should that make? She must have been woman enough for you before you found out. The sex assigned at birth does not always equate to one’s gender. The only drawback would be that she would be unable to conceive and bear children. Well, you can always adopt children if you two want to raise a family together.
这有什么区别？在你发现之前，她一定已经够女人了。出生时分配的性别并不总是等同于一个人的性别。唯一的缺点是她无法怀孕和生育。嗯，如果你们两个想共同抚养一个孩子，你可以收养孩子。
If it was me, I’d try to get the marriage annulled on the grounds of fraud. If (s)he’s kept this huge secret from you, God only knows what else they’re not telling you.
如果是我，我会试图以欺诈为由取消婚姻。如果他对你隐瞒了这个巨大的秘密，只有上帝知道，他还有什么没有告诉你。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I strongly disagree with many of these answers and even your own sense of self doubt.
You met a person. YOU LIKED THAT PERSON. Ok, you liked that person alot. Clearly this person had gone all the way through to post op and had/has a vagina now.
YOU LIKED HER ENOUGH AS A FEMALE TO MARRY HER.
You do realize that is what love, life, and marriage are supposed to be about.
SO… why are you worried now?
IS THIS ABOUT WHAT YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR FRIENDS ALL THINK?
Because honestly is not their business or their lives. ITS YOURS. You dont have to tell anyone. I would guess she was attractive enough as a female that most would be fooled.
我强烈不同意这些答案，甚至你自己的自我怀疑感。
你遇到了一个人。你喜欢那个人。好吧，你很喜欢那个人。很明显，这个人一直走到手术后，现在已经有了阴道。
作为一个女人，你很喜欢她，愿意和她结婚。
你确实意识到，这就是爱情、生活和婚姻的本质。
所以……你现在为什么担心？
这是你父母、家人或朋友的想法吗？
诚实一点，这不是他们的事，也不是他们的生活。这是你的。你不必告诉任何一个人。我猜她作为一个女性一定足够有魅力，以至于大多数人都被愚弄了。
“what should I Do’? Marriage is is about Love. you married her because you love her, so what has changed? she is a woman, always has been, It is odd that you have enquired about about her medical history so late in relationship. Many men would love to be in your position but for different reasons personal to them selves. so in answer to ‘what should I do’? is, Love her with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your body. it is simple, you are married, you are husband and wife.
“我该怎么办？“婚姻是关于爱的。你和她结婚是因为你爱她，所以现在有什么变化吗？她是一个女人，一直都是这样。奇怪的是，你这么晚才询问她的病史。很多男人都想站在你的位置，但对他们来说，原因各不相同。所以，问题的答案是，你应该全心全意地爱她，用你所有的思想和身体。很简单，你结婚了，你们是夫妻。