你有什么有趣的经历，假如讲给别人他们会觉得你在说谎？
What’s a funny memory you have that if you told someone, they’d think you’re lying?
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无巧不成书。
正文翻译
What’s a funny memory you have that if you told someone, they’d think you’re lying?
你有什么有趣的经历，假如讲给别人他们会觉得你在说谎？
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I once checked in at a restaurant and gave the hostess my name to hold my slot, she then asked for my last name since the person below shared my first name. When I told her my last name, she looked at my like I was lying. The person below had my first and last name. She laughed and introduced us, and we took a pic. I’ve never met someone with my same first and last name since.
我之前有一次在一家餐厅吃饭，跟女服务员说了我的名字来确定之前订的位置，服务员让我再说一下姓什么，因为我下面的那个人也跟我叫一样的名字。我跟她说我的姓的时候，她看向我的目光就好像我在说谎一样。我下面的那个人跟我的姓和名一模一样。她一边笑一边让我们两个认识了一下，我们照了一张照片。我此后再也没见过和我的姓名都一模一样的人。
Same exact thing happened to my dad, and we have a rare surname that nobody in my family has ever met anyone else with before! Funny thing is since moving to that city (and publishing his number in the phonebook) my dad had been getting calls/voicemails he didn't understand, including collections and the other guy's young daughter asking why he disappeared and when will she see him again. So my dad got to yell at the guy to get his shit together.
我爸的身上也发生过同样的事情。而且我们家的姓氏很少见，家里人这辈子也没遇见过和我家姓同一个姓的！有趣的是自从搬到那座城市（并且把自己的号码印刷到号码本上）之后，我爸爸就经常收到一些他不理解的电话和语音信箱，包括一些收藏，还有一个人的小女儿问他为什么消失了，什么时候才能再见到他。所以我爸忍无可忍，对那个重名的人大喊，让他好好过好自己的生活。
This was a couple years ago but I pulled up to a stop light, and another vehicle in the next lane also comes to a stop. The car is filled with what looks like high school kids. The kid in the passenger seat notices me, taps on his window and starts doing the universal sign for rock, paper, scissors. I look at the light (which is still red) and immediately think fuck it and play along so we start. 1..2..3..shoot and we tie.1..2..3..shoot, we tie again. This keeps happening. All the young kids in the other car are involved and are screaming like "WOOOOOAAH" everytime we tie. We literally got off like 15 rounds of rock, paper, scissors and tied every single time until the light turned green. I'm still high from that and hope all those guys are doing well.
这是几年前的事情了。我在等红绿灯，旁边一个车道也有车在等。那辆车上全是看上去像高中生的学生。后座里的孩子看见了我，敲了敲他的车窗户，开始对我做全球通用的石头剪子布的手势。我看了一眼信号灯（还是红的），于是立刻就想，去他妈的来一局！于是我们开始了。石头剪子布，平局，又是石头剪子布，又是平局。我们一直都没分出输赢。车上其他的那些孩子都也过来看，每次平局的时候他们都在“呜啊！ ”地大喊大叫！我们玩了15轮都没分出输赢，直到信号灯绿了。我现在回忆起来仍然觉得非常兴奋，我希望那几个孩子都过得不错。
I love strange stoplight interactions. When I was in driver's training (~15 y.o.) I was out for my first ever drive with the instructor and at the first stoplight we got to, a car with a couple older teenagers in it pulls up next to us, revs their engine, and the driver rolls down his window and looks over at me with one eyebrow arched and says, "Wanna race?"
我很喜欢在信号灯附近的奇怪互动。我在驾校学车的时候（大概15岁），我第一次跟着教练在外面练车，在我们停的第一个红绿灯，有辆载着两个比我们大几岁的青少年的车停到了我们旁边，猛踩油门，然后开车的把车窗摇下来，挑着眉毛对我说，“要比赛吗？”
我的教练没觉得好笑，但我笑了出来，并且在第一次练车的时候放松了下来。
Started college. Saw my brother's best friend on campus, from a distance. Hard to miss: Nate's 6'6", skinny, long brown hair. Fitting of our childish friendship, I straight up open-field tackle the guy. From behind. Blindsided.
大学刚入学。在校园里离得老远就看见了我哥哥最好的朋友。肯定错不了，Nate6英尺6英寸高，瘦，留着棕色的长头发。用合乎我们幼稚友谊的方式，我冲上去就把他给绊倒了。从背后的盲区。
结果不是Nate。我道了个歉，胆小地跑了。三小时之后，高中时的一个女性朋友向我们介绍了他的新男朋友。就是被我绊倒的那个人，Danny。非常善良（也非常宽容）的家伙。
我们已经当了15年的朋友了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That is 100% the way you make the best friends. Anybody that doesn't kick your ass immediately has to be cool.
这绝对100%是你交好朋友的方式。只要是不会立刻给你屁股来一脚的，肯定都是很酷的人。
You have surely introduced Danny to Nate so that they've met their doppelgänger?
你肯定让Danny和Nate见过了，让他们都遇见了彼此的影分身了吧？
Posted this earlier, but yeah. Danny and Nate have met. Nate is an artist and photographer. Danny is a history professor. Very different people, both cool guys. Both are very accomplished (and very tall.) Danny loves the story of how we met, and tells it often.
之前发过，没错。他们两个见过了。Nate是个艺术家和摄影师。Danny是个历史教授。非常不一样的人，两个人都很酷，都很有成就（而且很高）。Danny很喜欢讲我们两个第一次见面的故事，并且经常讲。
I was in elementary school, during recess, just kinda daydreaming and looking at some ravens flying overhead, when one of them suddenly took a nosedive... right into an open trashcan.
上小学时有一天放假，我在路上一边做白日梦一边看着飞过头顶的几只渡鸦，然后其中一只突然一个俯冲……冲进了敞口的垃圾桶里。
于是我当然就冲了过去看看情况，但是那只渡鸦就不见了。我并不是唯一一个见到那只渡鸦的，也有另一个孩子跑了过来。我就是这样遇见此后四年我最好的朋友的。
Come to find out your friend was the raven the entire time. . .
到头来发现你的那个朋友其实就是那只渡鸦……
I got stung by a platypus.
我被鸭嘴兽叮过。（译注：雄性鸭嘴兽的脚掌上有毒刺）
Got stuck in a bank for the night. When the bank is closed, you can still get to the ATM thanks to a security door. Once inside the door decided to stop working. No phone, no emergency button. Just waited here for hours till someone in the street saw me trough the glass and called someone
被困在银行里一整夜。银行关门之后，因为有一扇安全门，所以仍然可以去用ATM。我进去之后，那扇门决定下班了。没有手机，没有紧急按钮。在那里等了几个小时，直到街上有人透过玻璃看见我，打了电话。
An eagle came for my face as a child. I was about 8. I ducked and it ended up grabbing my hair and taking some with it. I ran inside crying and told my mom. She didn't believe me so I never told anyone else. I'm 22.
小时候有一只鹰飞过来抓我脸。我当时只有8岁。我闪开了。那只鹰抓住了我的头发，带走了好几根。我哭着跑进屋去跟我妈妈说。她不相信我，所以我也没跟别人说过。今年我22岁了。
Big birds of prey are known to try and kidnap toddlers, so it’s quite believable.
大型掠食性鸟类会试着去抓孩子，这是众所周知的。所以还是挺可信的。
Well you did tell me just now. Birds can do some weird things. A few days ago my ice cream got pushed out of my hands by a seagull. They ate it afterwards.
现在我确实知道了。鸟确实会做出很奇怪的事情。几天前我的冰淇淋就被一只海鸥从我的手上抓走了。后来它们自己吃了。
THE SEAGULL AT THE PARK STOLE MY FRIES.
公园的海鸥偷走过我的薯条。
那是16年前的事了，但我今天仍然特别生气。
一年之后我在公园吃薯条，有只海鸥俯冲下来被我看见了。我回忆起了之前的事情，于是给了那只海鸥一拳，比那种参加知识问答比赛知道答案想要比所有人都领先按按钮的选手锤得还狠。
我的约会对象：“卧了个槽？”
我们现在结婚了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
编辑补充一下：我是和我的约会对象结婚了，我不是跟海鸥结婚了。
A friend once called the wrong number, got the wrong house, and had the right person pick up.
我有个朋友曾经打错了号码，打到了错误的房子里，然后让他想要的那个人接电话了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
当时我在工作，给我老板换路由器。我把路由器卸下来连到一个电话上，看看有没有拨号声。
没过多久，电话就响了。这根本就说不通，因为这个电话是电脑用来向外拨打电话用的。
我接起来的时候，电话另一头的人张口就说，“嘿哥们，一会要不要去看电影？”我也认出了他的声音，是我朋友。我蒙了一秒钟，然后说，“Josh？你是怎么要到这个电话的？”他说他是在给我的手机打电话。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
他肯定是打错了我的电话号码，然后碰巧打到了我老板在办公室的路由器线路的号码。
所以他打错了号码，打到了错误的地方，却被正确的人接了电话，并且那个电话在过去的两年里只接通过刚才的两分钟。概率一定像天文数字一样小。
这是我会记一辈子的巧合。
I once called cold-called friend I hadn't heard from in 10 years. It was busy.
我有一次给一个很久没打过电话的朋友打了个电话，我们10年没聊过了。当时电话在忙。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我几分钟之后又打了过去。他的第一句话就是“我刚刚在给你打电话！你在占线。”
我们好几年都没给彼此打过电话，却在相同的不到10秒钟之内决定给彼此打个电话。这一定是纯粹的巧合。
I once read something similar here. Dude calls the wrong number, which ends up being his friend'd grandparents' house... where his friend was and picked up the phone.
我也看过类似的东西。有个哥们打错了电话，最后打到了他朋友的爷爷奶奶家，他朋友正好在，就接了电话。
There was a TV show in the UK where they had a woman who said her friend rang the wrong number but rang a payphone that she was passing
英国有个电视节目，里面有个女的说她有个朋友电话号码打错了，但是把她正好路过的一个电话亭的电话打响了。
I was the brokest I have ever been living in the middle of nowhere. I was pulling my last 20 dollars out of a gas station ATM. I hit the button and it spit out 60 dollars. I was only charged 20 on my account. It sounds like such a tall tale but I swear it happened.
在我最落魄的时候，只能四处流浪去生活。我从加油站的一个ATM里把最后的20美元取出来。我按了一下按钮，结果吐了60美元出来。我的账户只扣了20美元。虽然听起来很离谱，但真的这么发生过。
I had a pet humming bird as a kid. My mom found it injured on a sidewalk and nursed it back to health. It only had one eye and no depth perception so we kept it inside. We'd let it buzz around the room, land on us, and all that jazz. My brother told his teacher about it (in 3rd grade) and the teacher actually called my mom and was like "your son has made up a crazy story and insists its real". Reality was we had a pet humming bird and that seemed crazy enough people didn't believe it.
我小时候养过一只蜂鸟当宠物。我妈妈在人行道上发现它受伤了，然后带回家养到它康复。它只有一只眼睛，没有对深度的感知，于是我们就把它养在室内了。我们让它在屋里到处飞，落在我们身上之类的。我哥哥跟他（小学三年级的）老师说了这件事，老师真的给我妈打了个电话，跟我说“你儿子编了个疯狂的故事，而且坚持说那故事是真的。”事实是我们确实养了只蜂鸟，听起来疯狂到人们不愿意去相信它。
蜂鸟跟我们在一起住了差不多六个月。那是互联网时代之前的事情了，所以我妈妈找了很多人询问该怎样长期饲养蜂鸟。有人告诉我们养蜂鸟违法，因此我们不得不把它交给当地的博物馆。我们养了它好几个月，但它被送过去之后很快就死了。我很讨厌这个结局，希望我们自己养着，但我们做了自己认为最好的事情。
Yeah museums know how to take care of BIRDS ?? Sorry that sucks
博物馆怎么可能知道如何照顾鸟？不好意思这太假了。
The thought of a guy dropping this hummingbird off at an art museum makes it funny, but you know there are natural science museums that also oversee animal rehab, conservation efforts, and nature related scientific research. Very likely to be associated with the state gov (assuming US)
如果你想的是把蜂鸟扔到艺术博物馆去那确实挺好笑的，但你应该知道也有一些自然科学博物馆会管理动物康复中心，动物保护工作，以及与自然相关的科学研究的。而且很可能是和州政府有关系的（如果你人在美国的话）。
We had a kingfisher, European Kingfisher, at our 'pond'.
我家的“池塘”里曾经有过一只翠鸟。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
重点在于，翠鸟本身听罕见的，而且（我记得）只有在迁徙期间才会经过我们的国家。
我不知道是怎么来的，反正在3年级的一节科学课上，我表姐说有一只翠鸟每年夏天都会来我家看。
她的老师说她撒谎，把她骂了个狗血淋头，她当然就生气了。于是她回到家，等了一阵子，拍了一张带时间戳的照片，等照片洗出来，然后拍到了老师的桌子上。她显然得到了自己应得的道歉。
Aw man, this happened to my kid. We went on vacation to the mountains and when we spotted bears a few times, my kid was stoked. He went back to school and shared in class which was a big deal as he was rambunctious and not super social.
噢天哪，我家孩子也遇到过这种事。我们度假是在山里，当时我们看见过几次熊，我家孩子可兴奋了。他回学校之后就在课堂上分享了，这件事闹得挺大，因为他特别吵，而且不是很擅长社交。
在家长会上，他老师跟我说他撒谎说在山里看见过熊，并且他的“故事”既让人听不明白，讲得也不好。
当时他还在上学前班，只有三岁。他讲的故事就是“我们进大山里了，我们看见熊好几次了。”
我到今天还觉得郁闷。
I'd be salty, too. Who the hell judges a 3 year old's narrative arc?
换我我也郁闷。谁会评判一个三岁小孩讲的故事好不好啊？
The characters lack depth and there's little nuance to their actions. The settings are too sparsely described and feel bare. There is no character development whatsoever. The plot is sub-par and pitifully executed.
故事中的角色缺乏深度，并且他们的行为没有任何细节。背景设定的描述太少了，并且感觉很单薄。根本没有角色发展。剧情二流水平，并且展开得惨不忍睹。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
签字：那位学前班老师，大概吧
I peed on a bear once at 12 or 13. Some background I lived in a mountain cabin with some family aunts and cousins and stuff. The cabin was small but we had several acres so we had about 4 RV trailers for the rest of the family. 2 were my aunts 1 was for weed and the last and closest smallest was for children which was just my brother and I at the time.
我十二三岁的时候曾经在一头熊的身上尿过尿。说点背景，我之前和家里的七大姑八大姨一起住在山里的一个木头房子里。那个房子挺小的，但是我们有几亩地，所以家里剩下几口人分别住在四个房车里。两个给婶婶住，一个用来种大麻，还有一个，也是最小的，给孩子们住，当时只有我和我哥。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
那是一个寒冷的冬天，刚下完雪，我醒来的时候憋尿憋得不行，我自己都很惊讶自己竟然没尿床。我懵得要命，眼睛都睁不开，走到拖车门口，开门放水。我根本就没发现不到两英尺之外的那头熊，我身子稍微前倾一点就能摸到它了。它的脑袋在垃圾桶里，直到我尿到一半它才动。于是我把半睡半醒的身体转过来，看看是什么东西在动弹，发现是一只巨大的棕色的毛茸茸的东西，我正往它的左后腿上尿得到处都是，还在想这东西是什么，这时熊抬起了它的头看着我。我们彼此盯了一会，然后我的脑子开始动了起来。没多久我就尿完了。我和熊互相瞪了几秒钟，然后我退回一步，把那扇吹弹可破的门锁上，那只熊如果真的认为我侮辱了它的尊严的话那这扇门其实也屁用没有。然后我回到床上，一边听一边等，直到我最终回去睡觉。
now imagine this story from the bears perspective
现在想象一下从熊的角度来讲这个故事。
“我当时从垃圾桶里翻东西吃，脑袋往外一看，突然就看见有个人类站在旁边，然后他转过身来直接就开始往我腿上尿尿……等他尿完了他就又回到屋里去了……肯定是德州人，我告诉你。”
California actually lol but yeah.
哈哈哈其实是加州，不过也对。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Nah, the other bears would never let him live that down. He isn't telling anyone.
得了吧，别的熊这辈子都不会让他好过的。他谁也不会告诉。
When I was a kid we were at a Christmas tree farm. They had a little train that took you around the farm. I was sitting at the front when I asked the driver if we could go off-roading. The train derailed a second later.
小时候我们去了一个圣诞树农场。他们那里有个小火车，带你在农场四处逛。我坐在驾驶室里，问列车司机我们能不能开到铁轨外面。一秒钟之后列车就脱轨了。
司机问我刚才说了什么的时候的那种表情把我吓傻了。我以为那兄弟要把一个10岁小孩给ko了。
I was playing 8-ball at a bar one night (I'm not very good just play for fun). I'm on a slight winning streak. My next opponent racks them, and I break. 8 ball goes in on the break so it's an automatic win! Dude refuses to leave the table, continues to put quarters in and racks again. I'm like dude u lost .. there's like 8 people in line to play next. He's drunk and being stubborn and won't leave. So I break again.. and the 8 ball drops again.. dude walks away without saying a word
我有天晚上在酒吧里打8球（我打的并不是很好，只是打着玩）。我连着赢了几把。我的下一个对手码球，我开球。黑8我开进洞了，于是我自动赢了。那哥们拒绝认输，又把球码好了。我说，兄弟你都输了……后面还有八个人等着呢。但他喝醉了，很固执，不想离开。于是我就又开了球……然后黑8又进洞了。那哥们一句话都没说就走了。
I have to believe this because I’ve only ever pocketed the 8 on a break twice in my life and both happened within the same week
我不得不相信这件事，因为我这辈子开球就把黑8开进去过两次……而且两次都是在同一个星期。
Friend of mine worked in a city center ER and loves to tell this story that happened one day.
我有个朋友在市中心的急诊室工作，她特别喜欢讲这个故事。
有个衣衫不整，慌慌张张的人跑到了急诊室，说他在被政府特工追着。护士回答，“当然了，我在后面留了一间舒服的房间给你。”然后她就带着他到了给精神病留的房间。一个多小时之后，有个男人走了进来，说我是个政府特工。那个护士回答说，“当然了，我在后面留了一间舒服的房间给你。”
Years ago I was picking up lunch. Got pulled over for expired tags I'd forgotten to renew. It was 2 police officers. One was very hostile. Communication was all aggression... "don't make any sudden moves!" and she demanded I roll down my back windows because "someone could be in the backseat pointing a gun at her". Windows halfway down... "I need them ALL they way down!" Meanwhile, I sit confused with my bag of Wendy's riding shotgun wondering WTF, is this for real?
几年前我开车去买午饭。被警察截停了，因为标识过期了，我忘记更新了。当时有两名警官。其中一名态度很敌对。交流都是侵略性的。“别突然做动作！”并且她要求我把车后座的窗户都摇下来，因为“有人可能在后座拿枪指着她。”车窗摇到一半……“我让你把车窗摇到底！”与此同时，我一脸懵逼地坐在车里，副驾驶上放着一包温蒂的汉堡，心想我草这是真的吗？
她因为我的标签过期了给我开了张单子。我生气地回家了，上网更新标签。我上网的时候听见有人敲门。我问了一句，是另一个警察（不是那个气势汹汹的）。我在想，“你逗我玩呢吧，又怎么了？”虽然他没有直接向我道歉，但是他跟我解释说自己的同事当时还在训练，并且我也不需要担心罚单，换他就扔了。他说一定要更新标签。我说我正在这么做。他握了握我的手就走了。
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虽然不是像你们那样有趣的故事，但是真的有不少人质疑我这种事真的发生过没有。
My dad was pulled over once because he was the only person not speeding. The officer gave him a coupon for free ice cream.
我爸爸曾经被警察截停过，因为他是唯一一个没有超速的。警官给了他一个免费的冰淇淋券。
这件事发生在60年代，所以我不敢想象放到今天还会发生。
I once threw a ball for my dog and it landed on his head, rolled perfectly down his spine and off his tail.
我曾经扔过一个球，那个球落在了它的脑袋上，完美地沿着它的脊椎滚到了尾巴尖。
When I was a kid, probably 13 or so, I came home from school one day and I swung my key around on the lanyard and threw it at the door, because I was ninja fighting something invisible that'd be vulnerable to a single key on a string. The key actually hit the keyhole and just plopped in there. I was alone, so nobody would ever know that I actually was a ninja. Nobody has ever believed me, except my wife but she didn't care at all. I don't work as a ninja today. Unfortunately.
我还小的时候，大概13岁上下的时候吧，有一天放学回来，在草坪上把钥匙晃来晃去，往门上扔了过去，因为我觉得自己是个忍者，在和一个无影无形的东西作战，它最害怕的就是挂在绳子上的钥匙。但是那个钥匙真的插进了钥匙孔里，正好卡了进去。当时我只有一个人，所以没人知道我真的是个忍者。此后没有一个人相信我，除了我老婆，但她根本不在乎。我今天也没能当上一个忍者。真不幸。