当你意识到你的孩子比你聪明，你会怎么想？
How did you feel when you realized your child is more intelligent than you?
译文简介
讨论亲子关系！
正文翻译
We weren’t surprised. I always thought my wife was one of the smartest people I knew … from the day I met her in college. I was working on my doctorate in physics, she was an undergrad majoring in classics - reading the Greek philosopers in the original. That she was so bright and articulate was why I wanted to spend my life with her. Why would I not?
我们不会惊讶。大学那会我正在攻读物理学博士学位，我妻子是一个修古典文学的本科生——正在阅读希腊哲学家的原著，从这一天开始认识我妻子时，我就认为我的妻子是我认识的最聪明的人之一。她如此的聪明伶俐，这就是为什么我想和她共度一生的原因。
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, A parent for 49 years.
So when our kid (maybe at four or five) was sitting on the floor having just finished a jig saw puzzle and his mom congratulated him and asked how many pieces it had, he responded, “I have no idea, but it must be more than a hundred. Look, there are thirteen pieces this way,” [pointing left to right] “and eight this way. That must come out to more than a hundred.” He understood the notion of multiplication before he had ever heard the word or what it meant or how it could be used. I thought that was pretty bright - and knew I’d never have thought of that at five. I’m sure that wasn’t the first sign, but it was the one that came to mind when I read the question. But I find the question a bit odd. Why would one not want their child to be more intelligent than themselves. Why would they ever not feel a sense of satisfaction knowing their child has the potential to learn and reason?
我们的孩子在大概四五岁的时候，坐在地板上刚刚完成一个拼图，他的妈妈祝贺他，并问他有多少块拼图时。他回答说：“我不知道。但是肯定超过100块。”，他说：“看这边有13块”，然后指着左边到右边说：“这边有8块，那肯定有一百多个了。” 那时他还没听说过乘法这个词，不知道乘法的意思和用法，但是他却明白了这个概念。我认为这不是，他第一次理解乘法的概念。但是在我五岁的时候是不会想到这一点，所以我认为他很聪明。我觉得这个问题本身有点奇怪，为什么有人会希望孩子比自己笨呢？当他们知道自己的孩子有学习和推理的潜力时，难道他们不会为此而感到幸福吗？
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
… why? You lucky guy. You must have missed living with a jealous parent. At 85 she’d still get mad if I knew more than she did.
……为什么？你是一个幸运儿。你一定很怀念和你父母住在一起的日子。但是我就不同了，如果我知道的比我的母亲多，在我母亲85岁的时候，她还是会生气的。
Yike, Thea. My mother was wasn’t that - but she would be quick to correct a teacher who would tell her how smart I was by saying I didn’t keep my room very straight … or something, just to put the praise into perspective.
我母亲就不会为我的聪明感到开心——如果我老师告诉她我有多聪明，她就会很快地反驳老师，会说我没有把我的房间打扫很整齐……或者其他什么，仅仅只是为了让别人表扬她。
…ah… when my son was in second grade I told him not to worry about the teacher cuz teachers weren’t very smart. The universe has punished me ever since.
我儿子在上二年级的时候，我就告诉他，不要害怕老师，因为老师不是很聪明，从那以后， 他就不聪明了。
When my daughter was a freshman in college she came home for a visit. She left a paper out she had been working on for a psychology class . I picked it up to read it. I thought maybe it had come word-for-word from a textbook because I couldn’t understand any of it! I asked her later. She told me she had written the entire thing on her own. I was amazed! I knew she was smart because she had straight A’s in every grade, kindergarten through 12th grade but that blew me away!
我上大一的女儿那时回家，留下了一篇心理学课的论文。当我拿起来读的时候，发现我根本读不懂，这可能是她从课本上逐字逐句抄来的。后来我问她这篇论文是她自己写的吗？她说这整本书都是她自己写的。我非常惊讶！我知道她一直很聪明，因为从幼儿园到12年级,她每个年级的成绩都是A，但即便如此，她竟然写了一整本书，仍然让我很惊讶！
For me, a lot of what I liked about university teaching is being in constant touch with young people like your daughter - people who thrived on doing things well. It gives on hope for the world. Thanks for chiming in Linda. (But you should take some credit for that, of course, you are the one who raised her.)
对我来说，我之所以喜欢在大学教学的很多原因是因为像你女儿这样的年轻人——这些人善于把事情做好，给世界带来希望。谢谢你的教导，你的女儿之所以这么优秀，主要得归功于你，因为是你把她养大的，琳达。
I see you taught at San Luis Obispo. My daughter graduated from CAL.
你在圣路易斯·奥比斯波教书。我女儿毕业于加州
Good for her! I was at a UC as a student, but my career was at Cal Poly - a good choice for me and my interests (and an amazing place to live).
祝她好运！我曾经也是一名加州的学生，后来加州理工大学工作——在这里工作对我来说是个不错的选择。
, 19 years of being a father
Well, it wasn’t like a sudden realisation. It was something became more and more apparent over a fairly protracted period of time. My oldest son was, honestly, pretty ordinary for most of his early years. But once he turned about 11 or so, he started to excel academically. I think when I first suspected that he was going to outgrow me intellectually was when he won an academic scholarship to a British boarding school at 13. Over the years the evidence continued to mount. When he got 35/36 on his ACT without any prep I was pretty certain. When he got five A*s in his A-levels I was pretty much unsurprised. Everything I had ever achieved academically he was surpassing easily.
自己的孩子如果比自己聪明，我会有什么样的感觉？？这不是突然就能意识到的，这需要相当长的时间去发现这种感觉，并且这种感觉会越来越深刻。说实话，我的大儿子在他小时候的大部分时间里，都很普通，直到他11岁左右的时候，他开始在学业上出类拔萃。在他13岁的时候获得了一所英国寄宿学校的学业奖学金，这是我第一次怀疑他的智力会超过我。这些年来很多证据都证明了这一点。在ACT考试中，他没有任何的准备却获得了35/36的高分，我就更加确信了他比我聪明。在A-levels考试中他获得5个A*，我并不会感到惊讶了。他都轻而易举地超越了我在学业上所取得的一切成就。
我觉得我的反应会和大多数的父母一样，我会为我的儿子感到骄傲，感到非常的自豪。但是不管孩子有多么聪明，我认为他始终是孩子，他仍然和其他的孩子一样。会犯错误。会做傻事，因为他们没有生活经验。所以我认为即使自己的孩子长大后比自己聪明的多，我们仍然在他的生命中扮演重要的角色，他们仍然需要父母的陪伴，需要父母的指导，需要父母帮助他们成长，为他们以后的生活做准备。当然，我们辅导他们做功课的能力提前结束了，但是说实话，辅导孩子做功课，也只是抚养孩子的一小部分而已。
When I attended a meeting to do with my daughter starting in a gifted class, the teacher said “If the average kid can think of ten ways to get into trouble, a really bright kid can think of a hundred ways”. You’re right, they’re still kids.
我女儿在一个天才班级，当我参加他们班级的一个会议时，他们的老师说：“如果一个普通的孩子能想出十种惹麻烦的方法，一个真正聪明的孩子能想出一百种方法。”你是对的，他们仍然是孩子！没事
I am not that smart, but I am smarter than parents. They did not get the education I did and when I have kids that will probably be the same. It will probably increase through generations as they get more resources and build upon what their parents know.
我没有那么聪明，但是我比我父母聪明。因为他们没有得到我所受的教育。如果我有了孩子，可能还会是一样的。随着孩子们获得更多的资源，并以父母的知识为基础，这会使的孩子比之前更加聪明。随着几代人的传承会使得孩子更加聪明。
Ditto. I'm the parent of an intellectually gifted 19-yr-old. He can philosophize with the best of them, top nearly everyone in trivia questions (except in sports and some popular-culture questions), and get the best grades in class, but his scant life experience and youthful idealism are definite handicaps in handling various issues. His emotions are also more fragile and volatile, making me— the less-intelligent of us two—still a valuable ally when advice is needed. He's a great kid who will futher blossom and be tempered over
我有一个19岁的孩子，他的智力超群，他能够和他们班中最优秀的人进行哲学讨论。在琐碎的问题上（体育和一些流行文化的问题除外）几乎领先于所有人，并且取得全班好的成绩。但是他缺乏生活经验，加上年轻的理想主义，他的情绪更加脆弱和不稳定，这无疑是他处理各种问题的障碍。这使得我们两个人中智商较低的人，也就是我，在他需要建议时仍然是一个很有价值的盟友，他是一个很棒的孩子，将会在不停的磨练中，慢慢的成长！
The biggest gift you can give is development of emotional intelligence. Schools don’t promote this and it’s just as important as academic development imho.
你能给孩子最大的礼物就是情商的发展，学校并不教这些。恕我直言，情商的发展和学术发展一样重要
Actually the school I taught in started to promote emotional intelligence in 2005.
实际上，我任教的学校，在2005年就已经开始提高情商了。
, 60 years of triumphs mixed with some unfortunate events
It's very simple. I knew early on that my 2 children were very smart, but I didn't know how smart until I asked them if they wanted to follow in my footsteps and go to dental school. My daughters response….."No thanks, we don't want to work as hard as you do dad". Today Emily is a data analyst and Andrew is a software engineer. I'm pretty sure they will never have to work nearly as hard as their dad. That's OK with me.
这个问题非常简单呀。我很早就意识到我的两个孩子非常聪明。但是我不知道他们有多聪明，直到我问他们是否愿意像我一样去上牙科学校时，我意识到了我的两个孩子的聪明
我女儿的回答是…“不，谢谢。我们不想像你那样努力工作。爸爸”
现在，Emily是一名数据分析师，Andrew是一名软件工程，我非常确信他们永远都不会像他们的爸爸那样努力工作。我完全可以接受。
I have high respect for medical and dental professionals now that I’m older. As a lot of the work force is going remote, these professionals still have to show up day after day.
我现在年纪大了。对于医学和牙科专业人士都非常尊重，由于很多员工都选择了远程工作，这些专业人士仍需要日复一日的上班。
Don't you worry, even in well established tech companies where being in person physically is actually probably less beneficial to the company, micro managers can't hardly stand it and are demanding people come into the office.
别担心，即使是在成熟的科技公司，面对面地办公对公司来说收益未必很高，这种情况下，管理者也是很难忍受的，也会要求员工到办公室来。
Beautiful adult kiddos you have there
你有非常漂亮的两个孩子。
Thank you Laura!
谢谢你，Laura!
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Wait, is it their current snap? I thought it's their high school photo! Apologies if it sounded rude.
等等，这是他们现在的照片吗？我以为这是他们高中的照片。如果这话说起来很粗鲁的话，请抱歉。
This picture was taken 7 years ago. Emily just graduated high school and Andrew was entering 11th grade.
这照片是七年前拍的，Emily那时刚刚高中毕业, Andrew正要上11年级。
I mean I hope not either but, in their (your?) defense, both software engineering and data analyst jobs can be known for some pretty rough and grueling hours.
我想说我也希望自己的孩子不要像自己那样努力工作，但是，软件工程师和数据分析师的工作都可能是相当艰苦和劳累的工作。
I was thinking the same. Do not know how it is in the US, but in Europe the career in dentistry is quite relaxed - you can decide when you work and how long do you work on one “job” (I mean, sometimes my dentist invites me even for 4–5 sessions, even thought he said he can make it in 2 sessions, and it takes like half year instead of one week). Of course, dentist must have a great amount of skills (both mental and manual) and studies are hard, there is a big investment in the beginning, but then? It gets better and better. If I compare it to IT - well, studies are OK, but then you constantly need to prove you are woth the money the company invest in you and the mental stress is huge, because the company can easily outsourced you by one click…
我也觉得软件工程师和数据分析师的工作非常的辛苦。但是我不知道这两个岗位在美国是否辛苦。在欧洲从事牙医是很轻松的——你可以自己决定什么时候开始工作，以及这份工作需要多长时间。我的意思是说，我的牙医跟我说需要看两次牙，但是有的时候会邀请我去看4~5次牙，这需要半年，而不是一周的时间。 相比于IT的话，学习IT是没有问题的，但是当你工作后，你会有很大的心理压力，因为你需要不断的证明你自己值得你的公司在你身上投资钱，否则你就会面临被公司外包出去的风险。
我并不是在说一种职业比另一种职业好，哪种职业好取决于主观的偏好，如孩子们喜欢IT。并且在这方面可以做的很好，那么对于他们来说，他们选择IT作为职业是完全合乎情理的。但是另一方面，我发现如果孩子们跟随自己父母的职业去发展也是非常聪明的。因为他们可以从自己父母或者客户那里得到不错的建议。这使得他们不需要从零开始，这将是一个非常好的突破口。在牙医方面尤为凸显。
Yeah in the U.S., dentistry has an enormous up-front barrier involved with the education and cost involved to become a practicing dentist. I know some dentists who work extremely hard, mostly to pay their student loans/bills, or to maximize the amount of money they’re making so they can retire early. But in general, they work bankers hours, and get compensated extremely well for it.
是的，在美国，牙医在成为一名职业牙医的时候，其教育和成本方面将会有一个巨大的前期障碍。我认识一些牙医，他们工作非常努力，主要是为了支付他们学生时代的贷款。或者尽可能地增加他们的收入，以便他们能够早点退休。但总的来说，他们的工作时间和银行家一样长。而且报酬非常好。
软件开发领域是一个非常拥挤的市场，你很难处于食物链的顶端。在实践工作当中，你会面临非常多的问题，你需要不断地学习知识来证明自己可以解决这些问题，一个产品的会有很多不严谨的问题，需要你不断地改善贡献代码才能使得这个产品更加的完整。而且软件开发领域前期可以只花很少的费用就可以跻身进入改领域，这会使得年轻人很容易取代你。这样看来，对于从事软件开发的人，压力非常大。
Yeah, and as you do rise up the food chain, you realize a large percentage of your true abilities - the ones that will save the company shit-tonnes of money - are nearly impossible to explain to management, much less sell.
是的，当你在食物链中步步高升时，你会意识到你很大一部分的真实能力，例如，那些能给公司省下一大笔钱的能力，几乎是不可能向公司管理层解释清楚的，更别说推销自己了。
, BTech Mechanical Engineering, Indian Institute of Technology, Indore (2022) and
Vaibogam Shanmugam
, Father of 7 years old girl and 3 years old boy
When my son was in the eighth grade, he got suspended and I had to leave work early to go get him. When I got there, I asked the principal what had happened. The principal explained that my son had beaten up three other boys and even broke one boy's wrist. I was obviously horrified and asked my son what the fuck he was thinking. He simply told me that the boys had cornered one of his friends and were trying to make her strip for them. Being the chivalrous boy I raised him to be, he put a stop to it. I asked the principal if it was true and he dodged the question. In response to that, I told the school that if they're going to allow sexual harassment, I didn't want my child to attend and took him home. I told my son that I was going to take him out of public schools. He replied by telling me that he didn't want to leave the school because of he wasn't there then who was going to stop it from happening again. This is when I realized my little boy had become a man. He would rather get in trouble to protect a friend than stay out of the spotlight and potentially face long term consequences.
我儿子上八年级的时候，突然被停学了。我不得不提前下班去接他，当我到那里的时候，我问校长生了什么事？校长说。我儿子打了另外三个男孩，甚至还摔断了一个男孩的手腕。当时的我吓坏了。我问我儿子，他到底在想什么？发生了什么事？我儿子告诉我说，那些男孩把他的一个朋友逼得走投无路了，让她为他们脱光衣服。作为一个被我培养成一贯具有侠义风度的孩子，我的儿子阻止了这一切。我反问校长，这是不是真的？校长却回避了这个问题。作为回应，我告诉校长，如果学校本身允许性骚扰。那么我并不想我的孩子在这里上学，我希望把他带回家。我告诉我的儿子，我要把他带回家离开这所学校。而我的儿子却告诉我说，他并不想离开学校。因为如果他不在的话，如果下次还发生这样的事情，就没有人来阻止了。就在此时，我突然意识到我的小男孩已经长大成人了。他宁愿为了保护朋友而惹上麻烦，甚至可能面临长期的麻烦后果，也不愿置身事外。
You raised a good son.
你养了一个好儿子。
Triple upvote. We need more people like your son in our society today.
三观非常正，而今的社会，需要更多像你儿子这样的人。
I just made the upvote quadruple.
我刚刚点了四个赞。
Indeed.
没错。
The school system idea of punishing all involved for fighting (I assume the other boys were disciplined in some way) regardless of the situation is the easy way out, and rather cowardly. I understand the reasoning behind it, but at times it certainly shows the students there is no justice and life is unfair. Kudos to you for raising such a man who will step in and fight for those being bullied
学校的做法是想惩罚所有参与打架的人，这是一个非常简单粗暴且懦弱的解决办法。我理解这背后的原因，但有时他却像学生们。表明了没有真正的公平和正义。向你致敬，你培养了一个敢于站出来为那些被欺负的人而战的人。
School's use of zero tolerance discipline policies are intellectually lazy. To punish without regard to circumstances is such a ridiculous notion, This is incredibly frustrating to think that the very institution charged with educating societie's youth refuses to participate in the use of reason and logic to determine the appropriate course of action. This is a plea to bring back reason and logic.
学校使用的零容忍纪律政策，是智力懒惰的表现，不顾事情发展的前因后果，一味地惩罚是如此的荒谬。一想到负责教育社会青年的机构，在处理青少年矛盾的时候，不采取合理的逻辑来解决问题。这是一件多么令人难以置信的事情，又是多么地悲哀啊。这是在呼吁恢复理性和逻辑。
I would hope the other boys would be charged with sexual harassment towards the girl. Thank heavens this other boy was there to defend her. What a good guy he is!
我希望那些欺负女孩脱光衣服的男孩，能够因为性骚扰而得到该有的惩罚。谢天谢地，有一个正义的男孩子在那里保护了她，他是一个多么好的人啊！
, former Former FFL Holder (1980-1986)
Well, not having any children of my own, I have to look at others. Let’s look at the definition of Intelligent adjective
having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals.
displaying or characterized by quickness of understanding, sound thought, or good judgment
having the faculty of reasoning and understanding
既然我没有自己的孩子，我就得看看别人说的，让我们来看看形容词聪明的定义。有良好的理解能力或高智商的；易于理解的；就像人或动物表现出或具有敏锐理解力、良好思维或良好判断能力的，具有推理和理解能力的
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我看到很多年轻人，虽然他们对许多新技术有不错的理解，但他们还无法在现实世界实际场景中，去展示基本的常识和批判性的演绎和推理，还没有表现出来健全的思想和良好的判断力，所以我会问年轻人如何让我的“智能”手机做一些事情，但是我会问老一辈人更重要的事情。这只是我对今天的“孩子“的一种看法，但是我对这些孩子仍然抱有希望，因为我在很多年轻人的身上看到了许多优秀的一面，他们肩负起现实世界的责任。并且向我们展示出他们也可以参与到现实世界中，脱离他们的社交媒体之外。
I am wondering what you classify as “young”. I ask this as something who is still carded/otherwise perceived as young despite being almost 40.
我想知道你将“年轻”定义为什么？我之所以问这个问题，是因为尽管我已经快40岁了，但是我仍然被认为很年轻。
, dad, philosophy & psych professor, Rensselaer
Thrilled. My children may not be more intellectually intelligent than I am. They don’t work on that level. But they are smarter about people and relationships. Most everyone in their generation is and they’re standouts in that generation. And far more important, they are smarter about being kind and being able to love. I just marvel at them. I admire them. I look up to them and are guided by their model. Maybe its my second generation mentality. But my parents tried to make their kids better than they were, to give them a better life, better education, a host of better opportunities. And so I was hoping from the first that I could do this for my kids. I didn’t have to though, it turned out. They did it for themselves.
如果我的孩子比我更聪明，我会兴奋不已。我的孩子们可能并不比我聪明。他们在聪明方面并没有展现出非常令我惊讶的事情。但是他们在人际方面却更加聪明。在他们那一代人当中，几乎每个人都在人际方面很聪明。而且我的孩子们在他们那一代人当中都很出色。更为重要的是，我的孩子们在善良和爱方面更加聪明。我从来只是惊叹于他们。我钦佩他们，崇拜他们。并被他们在人际方面的聪明所引导。也许这只是我这一代的心态。但是，我的父母却不这样认为，我的父母试图让他们的孩子比他们更好。给他们更好的生活，更好的教育。很多更好的机会。所以我从一开始就希望我也能为我的孩子们做这些，但实际上我并没有这么做，我的父母之所以这么做，是为了他们自己。
, works at National Health Service (1992-present)
Odd question to ask! I felt the same way I felt about his eye colour, hair, and all his other attributes. His intelligence - be that intellectual, emotional, social - are all part of what make him uniquely him. My son, who I adore. He helped his teacher in reception class to set up and work the class computer and, apparently, often was the only one to laugh at her jokes and funny comments. Not sure if that reflected that he was paying more attention than his peers, or he was the only one to ‘get it’. Or maybe her ‘jokes’ were on a similar level to mine? Who know, but he was a bit different to his classmates.
自己的孩子比自己聪明会有怎样的感受？这真是一个奇怪的问题。我很爱我的儿子，我对他的眼睛颜色、头发和其他所有特质都非常喜爱。他在智力上，情感上，社交上的表现出来的都使他与众不同。他在接待课上帮助老师安装和使用班级电脑，他经常是唯一一个对老师的笑话和有趣评论发笑的人，我不确定这是否反映出他的注意力比同龄人更加集中，还是因为他是唯一一个“明白”有趣笑话的人，或者他老师的“笑话”和我讲笑话的水平差不多。谁知道呢？反正他和他的同学就是有点不同。
我的儿子在数学和科学方面的学术能力，通常只有到了考试的时候才会被意识到。这是因为他经常在课堂上不怎么说话。也不需要问问题。更不愿举手回答问题，但是课堂上的问题，他很快就能明白。并且已经知道答案了，这对他来说就已经足够了。这使得老师经常需要等到考试后才会发现。我的儿子做任何事情都全力以赴！。去年他毕业于牛津大学，获得了物理学一级学士学位。目前在伦敦的IT行业工作，我儿子的职业道德让我非常自豪，这对于走路慢和说话慢的人来说，一切都还不错。