你怎么知道一个人是否成熟呢（一）
How do you know if someone is mature or not?
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网友：成熟的人不会每天在Instagram和Facebook上上传很多自拍。成熟的人不会询问一个人的薪水。成熟的人不在乎别人对他们的看法。成熟的人不会盲目追随任何政客或名人。成熟的人从不抱怨......
正文翻译
How do you know if someone is mature or not?
你怎么知道一个人是否成熟呢?
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Mature people don't upload lots of selfies daily on Instagram and Facebook.
Mature people don't ask the salary of a person.
Mature people don't give a fuck to the opinions of others on them.
Mature people do not follow any politician or celebrity blindly.
Mature people never complain.
Mature people learn to live alone.
Mature people give more preference to their career over love.
Mature people do not urinate in public.
Mature people know how to deal with their problems.
Mature people are cool minded. They are not short-tempered.
Mature people love to read interesting things and share their knowledge.
成熟的人不会每天在Instagram和Facebook上上传很多自拍。
成熟的人不会询问一个人的薪水。
成熟的人不在乎别人对他们的看法。
成熟的人不会盲目追随任何政客或名人。
成熟的人从不抱怨。
成熟的人学会独自生活。
成熟的人更倾向于事业而不是爱情。
成熟的人不会在公共场合小便。
成熟的人知道如何处理他们的问题。
成熟的人头脑冷静，他们脾气也不暴躁。
成熟的人喜欢阅读有趣的东西并分享他们的知识。
Anna Sharudenko，居住在美国
I think that mature people are skeptics. They question, they listen to various propositions and ideas, they consider, but in the end, they don’t let themselves get brainwashed by conformity.
They get less surprised or thrown off the rails by life and its tricks.
They are more calm.
They don’t seemingly react straight away.
They understand that life is not strictly black or white. There is also the grey area and many things are subjective and depend on many factors.
通常，当一个十几岁的孩子经历了一段痛苦的经历，比如他的母亲死于癌症，如果不是光速的话，他会音速般的速度变成熟。
我认为成熟的人是怀疑论者。他们质疑，他们听各种主张和想法，他们会考虑，但最终，他们不会让自己被循规蹈矩的人洗脑。
他们不会对生活和生活的诡计感到惊讶或不知所措。
他们更冷静。
他们似乎不会马上做出反应。
他们明白生活并不是非黑即白，还有灰色地带，很多事情是主观的，并取决于很多因素。
You met someone online/offline
You became friends. Then good friends.
You started sharing everything with them.
You started talking to them every now and then.
Then you get attached towards them.
Suddenly, you realised that the bond is going somewhere else than friendship.
Then you started crying.
You wanted to ignore them, but you felt helpless.
You became addicted to that person.
From here, problems start to arise in your life. You lose your focus from the goal of your life.
You wanted to stay away from them, but your feelings didn't let you do that.
你在网上或者线下遇到了某人
你们成为朋友，然后是好朋友。
你开始和他们分享一切。
你开始时不时地和他们说话。
然后你会对他们产生依恋。
突然间，你意识到，你意识到这种联系已经超越了友谊。
然后你开始哭了。
你想无视他们，但你感到无助。
那个人使你着迷了。
从这里开始，问题开始出现在你的生活中。你对人生目标不再关注。
你想远离他们，但你的感觉不允许你这么做。
You met someone online/offline.
You became friends. Then good friends.
You started sharing your problems with them.
You talked to them. But maturity is when you know, how much you should talk with them, and what should you share with them. Maturity is- how often you talk to them.
When you know this thing, you are mature.
Because this avoids unnecessary attachments. This avoids sufferings. You don't crave every now and then to talk to that person. You don't feel helpless. You never lose your focus on your goal. You never feel weak. You just go with your flow.
Making friends is not a bad thing. But how you carry the bond in your life, to live your life smoothly matters a lot.
The maximum problems in any kind of relationship arise when they get involved in unnecessary attachments. At last, they have to suffer.
Maturity is realising attachments or expectations always leads to sufferings. Maturity is when you start avoiding such expectations or attachments.
如果你想让自己避免这种情况，以下成熟的应对方式，这里是成熟的标志：
你在网上/线下遇到了某人：
你们成为朋友，然后是好朋友。
你开始和他们分享你的问题。
你和他们开始交流，但成熟是你知道，你应该和他们谈到什么程度，你应该和他们分享什么。成熟是你与他们交谈的频率。
当你知道这件事，你就成熟了。
因为这样可以避免不必要的麻烦。这样可以避免痛苦。你不会渴望时不时地和那个人说话。你不会感到无助，你会一直关注目标。你永远不会感到虚弱，只要顺其自然就好。
交朋友不是坏事。但是如何在你的生活中维系这种纽带，让你的生活一帆风顺，就很重要了。。
在任何一种关系中，当他们卷入不必要的依恋时，最大的问题就出现了。最后，他们不得不遭受痛苦。
成熟是意识到依恋或期望总是导致痛苦。成熟是指你开始避免这种期望或依恋。
Maturity is not measured by age, it’s an attitude built by experience.
Here are 10 traits of a mature person.
Comfortable being alone: They are comfortable being on their own and don’t always need friends or people around them.
Accept differences: They accept that everyone is different and will have different opinions. They don’t need everyone to think or act as they do.
Emotional Independence: They are not dependent financially or emotionally on their parents. They tend to make their own life decisions.
Treating others right: They don’t put someone down or make fun of someone because that’s not how they get their self-esteem. They are already confident in themselves.
Taking responsibility: They don’t blame others for their failures and try to take responsibility on how to improve the situation rather than complain.
Listening more than talking: They have two ears and one mouth and they use them in that proportion.
Honesty: They don’t try to deceive or manipulate others for their gains. They lay their desires on the table and it’s okay if other people walk away.
Mature conversations: They like to talk about deep meaningful topics about life and nature with a sense of wonder and curiosity.
Not chasing: They don't chase money or that new car or someone,they know where true happiness is; in the present.
成熟度不是用年龄来衡量的，而是由经验建立起来的个人风格。
以下是一个成熟的人的10个特点。
舒适的独处：他们可以舒适地独处，并不总是需要朋友或有人围绕在其身边。
接受差异：他们懂得每个人都是不同的，会有不同的观点。他们不需要每个人都像他们那样思考或行动。
情感独立：他们在经济上或情感上不依赖父母。他们倾向于自己做出人生决定。
正确对待他人：他们不会贬低某人或取笑某人，因为这不是让他们获得自尊的方式，他们已经对自己充满信心。
承担责任：他们不会因为自己的失败而责怪他人，而是尝试对如何改善现状，承担责任，而不是抱怨。
听多于说：他们有两只耳朵和一张嘴，而且他们使用它们的比例也是如此。
诚实：他们不会为了自己的利益而欺骗或操纵他人。他们把自己的欲望摆在明面上，如果其他人走开也没关系。
成熟的对话：他们喜欢带着好奇感和求知欲谈论关于生命和自然方面深刻而有意义的话题。
不追逐：他们不追逐金钱、新车或某人，他们知道真正的幸福在哪里，就在当下。
As a dating expert, who has worked for a dating app for years, I’ll list some behaviors of mature people in the world of dating.
They recognize the power of words and know how to use them.
They don’t have an unhealthy relationship with their mothers. How a man treats his mother is how he will treat all women in his life.
They don’t do things just to please others
They won’t run away from their problems
They don’t go about criticizing a person in their lives for their appearance, weight, profession, or even their hopes and dreams.
They are more sensitive and always take time to listen.
They fully understand the fact that relationships can’t be perfect
They’re likely to have an effective communication style.
They won’t make their partners feel unwanted.
They won’t expect others to take responsibility for him.
They won’t be a know-it-all.
They don’t take things personally.
They won’t immediately reject other people’s opinions.
They don’t let fear keep them from achieving happiness and success.
They don’t feel insecure about their appearance and style.
作为一名约会专家，我已经为一款约会应用工作多年，我将列举一些成熟人士在约会时的行为。
他们认识到语言的力量并知道如何使用它们。
他们与母亲之间没有不健康的关系，一个男人怎样对待他的母亲，他就会怎样对待他生命中所有的女人。
他们做事不只是为了取悦他人
他们不会逃避自己的问题
他们不会因为一个人的外表、体重、职业，甚至他们的希望和梦想而去批评他。
他们更敏感，总是花时间倾听。
他们完全理解关系不可能是完美的这个事实。
他们可能有有效的沟通方式。
他们不会让伴侣感到自己是多余的。
他们不会指望别人为他负责。
他们不会当一个万事通。
他们不会往心里去。
他们不会立即拒绝别人的意见。
他们不会让恐惧阻止他们获得幸福和成功。
他们不会因自己的外表和风格而没有安全感。
A boy and girl, both fell in love.
They both did use to chat late nights.
They both did use to call just to hear each other's voice.
They both started dating.
They both spent each adorable moment of their romantic journey, together.
They had a lovely relationship.
They both spent around 2 years together in such divine relationship.
But unfortunately, after a year, their love faded away.
All the love, attraction, care, was literally fading with time and distance.
It was like not being in a relationship, despite being in a relationship, and both of them knew that.
Hereafter, both had a consensual breakup.
After suffering from mental and emotional breakdown for a few months of breakup, they both again fell in love a half of year later, not with each other, but with another!
一个男孩和一个女孩，双双坠入爱河。
他们以前都聊到很晚。
他们都曾经打电话只是为了听到对方的声音。
他们俩开始约会。
他们俩一起度过了浪漫旅程中的每一个讨人喜欢的时刻。
他们的关系很好。
他们两人在这种神圣的关系中共度了大约两年。
但不幸的是，一年后，他们的爱消失了。
所有的爱、吸引力、关心都随着时间和距离的流逝而逐渐消失。
这就像没有恋爱一样，尽管他们两人都知道这一点。
此后，两人自愿分手。
在接下来的几个月，精神和情感处于崩溃状态，不过他们两人在半年后再次坠入爱河，不过对象不再是彼此，而是另一个人！
A person is mature, when he/she knows that a relationship requires few adjustments and compromises.
A person is mature, when he/she admits that not everybody gets perfect life partner at the first chance.
A person is mature, when he/she knows that it takes a little bit time for finding a suitable partner for himself/herself.
A person is mature, when he/she decide to don't be in a relationship with halfheartedly feelings. Than this, it's better to be single.
A person is mature, when he/she doesn't blame the another one, after the consensual breakup.
A person is mature, when he/she finally comes over from the past, and again fall in love with someone, with optimistic attitude.
A person is mature, when he/she admits that there will be shiny mornings again, after such dark nights.
Thank you ?
你怎么知道一个人是否成熟？
当一个人知道一段关系需要进行一些调整和妥协时，他/她就是成熟的。
当一个人承认不是每个人都能在第一次就可以找到完美的生活伴侣的时候，他/她就是成熟的。
当一个人知道自己找到合适的伴侣是需要时间的时候，他/她就是成熟的。
当一个人决定不再在自己无法投入全部感情时谈恋爱，他/她就成熟了，单身更好。
当一个人在双方分手后不责怪另一个人时，他/她就是成熟的。
当一个人最终从过去中走出来，并以乐观的态度再次爱上某人时，他/她就是成熟的。
当一个人承认在非常黑暗的夜晚之后，早晨还会有光亮的时候，他/她就是成熟的。
谢谢你！
One day when I was travelling to Kolkata on a train, I saw a poor boy cleaning the floor of our coach.
He was asking for money from everyone who was travelling in the same coach.
Some were giving him a coin and some notes of Rs. 1 and Rs. 2. (It was the year 2000)
He steadily went to every berth for cleaning the coach. While cleaning, he found a food packet, thrown at a corner.
Some passenger must have brought food from their home for the long journey.
But the food was not fresh, as it was going stale.
The poor boy picked it up as soon as he saw. He grabbed the packet in his fist without letting anyone know and moved ahead.
Seeing this a boy shouted: “look at his hands, he must be stealing something”.
His father got up from his seat, and without knowing the reality, he started slapping the poor boy.
The boy didn't say a word. Rest of the people in the coach asked the father to stop beating the poor boy.
一天，当我坐火车去加尔各答的时候，我看到一个可怜的男孩正在打扫我们的车厢地板。
他向乘坐同一辆马车的所有人要钱。
有些人给了他一枚硬币，也有一些给了1卢比和2卢比的纸币。（那是2000年）
他不慌不忙地走到每个铺位去清洗车厢。在打扫的时候，他发现了一个食品袋，扔在角落里。
一定有乘客因长途旅行而从家里带了食物。
但是食物不新鲜，因为它已经变质了。
那可怜的男孩一看见就把它捡了起来。他没让任何人知道，就用拳头抓住了那个包，向前走去。
看到这一幕，一个男孩喊道：“看他的手，他一定在偷东西。”。
他的父亲从座位上站起来，在不知道真相的情况下，开始扇了那个可怜的男孩一耳光。
男孩一句话也没说。车厢里的其他人要求那个父亲停止殴打这个可怜的男孩。
Everyone went stunned and couldn't swallow their guilt. They asked the boy why he didn't tell this earlier.
Listening to this, he signalled that he can't speak.
People standing beside him, couldn't utter a word in shock.
The train gave a horn signalling that it is leaving the platform. The boy pleaded to leave him so that he can step out of the coach before the train leaves the platform.
Everyone tried their best to help him with some more money, but he refused to take. He smiled and left the coach with his earned money and those two chapatis.
As soon as he stepped out of the coach, he ran towards his father, who was sleeping on the platform.
His father was unconscious and continuously drinking alcohol. The boy snatched his bottle and offered him those 2 chapatis.
Seeing his father eating chapatis, he couldn't be more happy.
We left the station realising how important it was to be calm in such scenarios because you need patience only when you are about to lose it.
每个人都让那个男孩张开拳头，让大家看看是什么。他向前伸出手，展示了两块印度薄饼。
每个人都惊呆了，无法忍受自己的罪恶感。他们问男孩为什么不早点告诉他们。
听了这话，他示意他说不出话来。
站在他旁边的人震惊得一句话也说不出来。
火车鸣笛示意要离开站台。男孩恳求让他离开，这样他就可以在火车离开站台之前走出车厢。
每个人都尽力帮他多拿些钱，但他拒绝接受。他笑了笑，带着自己挣来的钱和那两个沙帕蒂离开了车厢。
他一走出马车就向睡在站台上的父亲跑去。
他的父亲昏迷不醒，一直在喝酒。男孩抓走他的瓶子，递给他那两张印度薄饼。
看到父亲在吃印度薄饼，他高兴极了。
我们离开车站时意识到在这种情况下保持冷静是多么重要，因为只有当你即将失去耐心时，你才需要耐心。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I teach students in the 11–14-year-old range. You know, the puberty years, where there’s a huge maturity gap between the younger and older students, and the boys and girls.
Generally, girls mature first and faster than boys.
I usually gauge a student’s maturity level by their ability to sit quietly
I usually begin class in the front of the students, explaining what we’re going to do that day, maybe going over the homework, or reading over something from the textbook. But I do most of my teaching from the back of the class, behind the students. I’m back there at my desk with a document projector, projecting whatever I’m teaching to a screen at the front of the room.
When I walk from the front to the back of the class… that’s when it’s easy to spot the immature students. They’re the ones who immediately strike up a conversation with the people around them.
He’s walking from one side of the room to the other. I have exactly 2.5 seconds of idle time.
Most sixth graders are that way. They can’t handle idle time well at all. Most eighth graders are fine with it. The few eighth graders I’ve taught over the years who couldn’t handle a few seconds of idle time were all boys. I hope they finally matured past that point eventually.
我教11-14岁的学生。你知道，在青春时期的成熟方面年龄大的和年龄小一点的学生，以及男孩和女孩之间都存在巨大的差距。
一般来说，女孩会先成熟，成熟期来得比男孩早。
我通常通过学生静坐的能力来衡量他们的成熟程度。
我通常在开始上课之前，给学生讲解我们那天要做什么，也许是全面审查作业，或者是全面解读课本上的内容。但我大部分的教学工作时都在教室后面，站在学生后面进行的。我在后面的书桌上，拿出一个文件投影仪，把我教的东西投影到教室前面的屏幕上
当我从教室的前面走到后面时，很容易看出谁不成熟。不成熟的人总会不停的与周围的人展开对话。
从房间的一边走到另一边的过程中，我有2.5秒的空闲时间。
大多数六年级学生都是这样的，他们根本不能妥善处理空闲时间。大多数八年级学生没这方面问题。这些年来，我教过的少数几名连几秒钟的空闲时间都应付不过来的八年级学生都是男生，我希望他们最终能够成熟起来。
My ex-girlfriend and I had a mutual friend. Both were from the same school. Her friend was a scholar all her life. My ex-girlfriend and she were close buddies, close enough to discuss everything from their love to private life.
After passing 12th, our mutual friend wrote JEE and got admitted in Dr. B. R. Ambedkar National Institute of Technology, Jalandhar ( NITJ ). While my ex-girlfriend went on to do her bachelor's from Delhi University,
Life took a turn and they hardly spoke.
She got busy, loving programming, while my ex got busy with her life.
They never spoke in 3 years. It sounds weird but yes, they never tried to contact each other. My ex-girlfriend always used to mention about her that she does miss her sometimes
She even tried to contact her but she never gave a call back all these years.
Since there were many of my friends who were studying in the same college as her, I got to know that she got placed in one of the leading startups with compensation of more than 12 lakhs.
I was happy for her. I always knew she would do it because she was studious and ambitious as hell.
My ex-girlfriend, on the other hand, was about to start her job in the early months of 2018.
So one fine day when I was on a date with my ex-girlfriend, exiting the cafe, we saw her.
She was with some of her friends.
My ex: Gauri, is that you?
She: Shri?
我的前女友和我有一个共同的朋友，他们都来自同一所学校。她的朋友一生都是学者，我的前女友和她是亲密的朋友，亲密到足以讨论从爱情到私生活的所有事情。
通过12级考试后，我们共同的朋友申请联合入学考试，并被国家理工学院的贾朗达尔校区的安贝克博士录取，与此同时我的前女友在德里大学攻读学士学位。
生活发生了转变，他们几乎不再说话了。
她很忙，喜欢编程，而我的前女友则忙于她的生活。
他们三年没说过话了，这听起来很奇怪，但是她们从未试图联系过对方。我的前女友总是提到她，她有时确实很想念她。
她甚至试图联系她，但这些年来她从未回过电话。
因为我的很多朋友都和她在同一所大学学习，我得知她进入了一家领先的初创公司，薪酬超过120万卢比。
我为她感到高兴。我一直知道她会这么做，因为她勤奋好学，野心勃勃。
另一方面，我的前女友将于2018年初开始工作。
所以在一个晴朗的日子，当我和我的前女友出去约会时，我们看到了她。
她和她的一些朋友在一起。
我的前任：Gauri，是你吗？
她：Shri？
She didn't even reciprocate. She didn't even feel like greeting or hugging her.
She: Do you know I got placed? Oh, I am so excited - It’s 12 lakhs! I am sorted.
Hey, guys, meet my friend.
Everyone came. She introduced everyone but in a different style.
“Meet Ashish, he got placed with Amazon. He will be earning 16 lakhs.”
“Meet Shweta, she got placed with Samsung. She will be earning 21 lakhs.”
“Meet Karan, he got placed with Oyo. He will be earning 13 lakhs.”
My ex-girlfriend looked at me. I was clueless.
我的前任：嘿，你好吗？好久不见！
她甚至没有回应。她甚至都不想问候或拥抱她。
她：你知道我找到工作了吗？哦，我太激动了，薪水120万了！我解决工作问题了。
嘿，伙计们，见见我的朋友。
大家都来了。她介绍了每个人，但介绍的方式不同。
“Ashish，他被亚马逊录取了。他将挣160万。”
“Shweta，她被三星录取了。她将获得2100万的收入。”
“Karan，他OYO酒店工作，他将挣130万。”
我的前女友看着我。我不知所措。
Ex: No, not yet.
She just left.
After a while, my ex-girlfriend roared.
“Shyan, I am not gonna contact her anymore. You know why?
No, I am not jealous. In fact, I am very happy for her. But we were close, so close. I see her now for the first time in these four years and all she asks is how much I earn and talk about how much she does?
She is 23, look at her. She is living the life of a programmer. She is bothered about numbers and nothing else.
Maturity doesn't come with age. It comes with sensitivity, experiences and good company.”
She had a point here. I was silent. I hugged her and made her realize that she was just amazing.
Gauri接着问：“你挣多少钱？你找到工作了吗？”
不，还没有。
她刚离开。
过了一会儿，我的前女友吼了起来。
“Shyan，我不会再联系她了，你知道为什么吗？
不，我不是嫉妒。事实上，我为她感到高兴。但我们是很亲密，很亲密的关系。这是我四年来第一次见到她，她只问我挣多少钱，说她挣多少钱？
她23岁了，看看她，她过着程序员的生活。她只关心数字，别的什么都不关心。
成熟不会随年龄而来。它伴随着敏感、经验和志趣相投的伙伴而变化。
她说得有道理。我沉默了。我拥抱了她，让她意识到她是多么了不起。
My dad was helping my mom learn how to drive. He gifted her a new car and was giving her the first lesson.
My mom was following the instructions that he gave quite nervously as she didn't want to mess up.
And in this first day of having the brand new car, within a matter of minutes she hit the car against a nearby wall and the car had a few minor damages.
What was my dad's reaction?
He said “I'm glad that you damaged the car as soon as possible. Now for the rest of the day, you won't be nervous about messing up as the worst has already happened and you will be more focused on the lesson.”
What is maturity?
Maturity, to me, is keeping our quick and instant reactions on the side because we are acknowledging the situation of another person and are looking at things from the bigger perspective.
My dad here knew that my mom’s emotions and feelings were more important than something materialistic such as a car.
And I always smile when he tells me this story.
Note: If you argue that training should have been given in the old car itself, then you are presupposing that the new car has to be better than the old. In my example, the old car was a BMW 7li series model and the new was a Lexus car. ‘
Also do differentiate between a person giving a gift and a trainer, coach or instructor.
Secondly, gifts are only given to people with the expectation that they can ‘manage’ it and maintain the same. This is the basic rationale behind giving a ‘gift’. If my father was so unsure and skeptical about my mom’s driving
我爸爸在帮我妈妈学开车，我爸送给她一辆新车，并给她上了第一课。
我妈妈很紧张地按照他的指示去做，因为她不想把事情搞砸。
在拥有这辆全新汽车的第一天，几分钟之内，她就把车撞到了附近的墙上，车受到了一些轻微的损坏。
我爸爸的反应是什么？
他说：“我很高兴你就把车弄坏了。今天剩下的时间里，你不用担心搞砸了，因为最糟糕的事情已经发生了，你会更加专注于学车。
什么是成熟？
对我来说，成熟是将我们快速、即时的反应先搁置一边，因为我们得承认另一个人的处境，并且我们要从更大的角度去看待事情。
我爸爸知道我妈妈的情绪和感受比像享受汽车这样的物质更重要。
当他告诉我这个故事时，我总是微笑。
注意：如果你认为应该在旧车上练车，那么你是在假设新车必定比旧车更好。以我为例，旧车是宝马7li系列，而新车是雷克萨斯（Lexus）。
还要区分送礼者和助理教练、教练或指导者之间的关系。
其次，礼物只给有期待的人以便他们可以“管理”它并保持不变，这就是送礼的基本原理。如果我父亲对我妈妈的驾驶非常不确定和怀疑。