Shannon Carpenter (center) and his wife, Erin (far left), chose for him to stay at home with their kids.

Shannon Carpenter（中间）和他的妻子Erin（最左）决定让他呆在家里陪孩子

(CNN)The debate over US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg taking two months off to care for his twin newborns has reached the point of absurdity.

（美国有线电视新闻网，Cable News Network，简称CNN）为了照顾自己的双胞胎新生儿，美国运输部长皮特·布蒂吉格（Pete Buttigieg）请了两个月的假。而关于这件事情的争论已经到了荒谬的地步。

Fox News personality Tucker Carlson suggested that Buttigieg was "Trying to figure out how to breastfeed." Conservative political commentator Matt Walsh proclaimed on Twitter that there isn't much for a father to do during those first months of a child's life. Conservative activist Candace Owens called him weak, using the Twitter hashtag, #BringBackManlyMen.

福克斯新闻（Fox News）主持人塔克·卡尔森表示，布蒂吉格“试图弄清楚如何哺乳”。 保守派政治评论员马特·沃尔什（Matt Walsh）在推特上宣称，在孩子出生的头几个月里，父亲没什么可做的。保守派活动家坎迪斯·欧文斯（Candace Owens）用推特上的标签“BringBackManlyMen（把男子汉还回来）”称他软弱。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


While those personalities were ridiculing the role a father plays in his child's life, I was with 100 other dads attending HomeDadCon, a national conference for stay-at-home fathers. When I shared these criticisms about Buttigieg's paternity leave, I thought about hiding behind the podium in case any dads wanted to throw tomatoes at me.

当这些人嘲笑父亲在子女生活中扮演的角色时，我和其他100位父亲一起参加了HomeDadCon大会，这是一个全国性的全职爸爸会议。当我分享这些关于布蒂吉格陪产假的责备时，我考虑过躲在讲台后面，以防任何爸爸想向我扔西红柿。


(From left) Stay-at-home dads Jake Knapitsch, Mick Freyermuth and author Shannon Carpenter are shown at HomeDadCon.

（左起）全职爸爸Jake Knapitsch、 Mick Freyermuth和作家Shannon Carpenter在HomeDadCon大会上亮相。

No matter what your gender or sexuality is, everyone deserves the benefit of welcoming a new child into their family.

无论你的性别或性取向是什么，每个人都应该享受迎接新生儿加入家庭的好处。

Whether you stay at home as a father or work, many fathers regard raising their children a priority. So, what do fathers do on paternity leave and why is it important? This is what stay-at-home dads had to say.

无论你是呆在家里做全职爸爸还是在外工作，许多父亲都把抚养孩子作为头等大事。那么，父亲在陪产假上要做什么？为什么这很重要？这就是全职爸爸们不得不说的话。

Who gets paternity leave

谁享有陪产假

The United States doesn't have a national paternity or maternity leave policy that gives parents paid leave to care for their newborn children. Both types of leave are covered under the Family and Medical Leave Act, which gives parents up to 12 work weeks of leave to care for a new child. But companies decide if that leave is paid or not. Currently, only six states require paid family leave, with three other states fully enacting policies in the coming years, according to the Bipartisan Policy Center, a Washington, DC-based think tank.

美国没有一项让父母带薪休假照顾新生儿的全国性的陪产假或产假政策。《家庭和医疗休假法》（Family and Medical Leave Act，美国的一项立法法案，简称FMLA）涵盖了这两类假期，该法规定父母最多有12个工作周的假期来照顾一个新生儿。但是是否带薪休假由公司决定。根据华盛顿智库两党政策中心（Bipartisan Policy Center, a Washington, DC-based think tank）的数据，目前只有六个州要求家庭假可带薪休假，另外三个州将在未来几年全面制定政策。

The massive spending package now in negotiations in Congress aims to establish paid family and medical leave on a national level. President Joe Biden currently proposes four weeks, limiting benefits to those who earn less than $100,000, as previously reported by CNN. But right now, paternity and maternity leave isn't an option for many families. Only 21% of US workers have access to paid FMLA, according Family Values @ Work, an advocacy group. And 93% of low-wage earners have zero access to paid leave.

国会正在谈判的大规模支出计划旨在在全国范围内建立针对家庭和医疗假的带薪休假。CNN此前报道，美国总统乔·拜登（Joe Biden）目前提议为期四周，限制收入低于10万美元的人享受该福利。但现在，很多家庭都不愿意享受陪产假。根据支持带薪休陪产假的组织Family Values @ Work（Family Values @ Work，一个由27个州和地方联盟组成的全国性组织网络）的数据，只有21%的美国工人能够受到FMLA法案的照顾。93%的低收入者没有带薪假期。

Quetzal Torres credits his manager with giving him eight days of unpaid time off. "I took normal leave," said Torres, father of four from Cary, North Carolina. "My boss was flexible, but it was all unpaid."

Quetzal Torres认为他的经理给了他八天的无薪休假。“我是正常休假，” Torres说，他是北卡罗来纳州卡里市四个孩子的父亲。“我的老板处事灵活，但我的假期都是无偿的。”

Other fathers at the conference used similar language. "I was in good with my manager," said one dad. "My supervisor was mostly OK with it," said another.

参加会议的其他父亲也说了类似的话。一位父亲说：“我和我的经理相处得很好，”。另一位说：“我的主管对此基本上没有意见。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处



Shannon (back row center) and Erin (left) Carpenter have a daughter Vivi, older son, Wyatt, and younger son, Oliver.

Shannon（后排中间）和Erin（左）Carpenter有一个女儿Vivi，大儿子Wyatt和小儿子Oliver。

The stereotypical dad is gone

刻板的父亲形象消失了

It seems that some people still have a TV stereotype of childbirth and aftercare, with the dad in the waiting room smoking a cigar until he gets the good news and kisses his wife on the forehead. Then he gets back to work outside the home.

似乎有些人对分娩和产后护理的认识仍然是电视里的刻板印象——父亲在候诊室抽着雪茄，直到听到好消息并亲吻妻子的前额。然后继续在外工作，并不会呆在家里。

Childbirth doesn't always go smoothly.

分娩并不总是顺利。

Lou Marino's first child was in the newborn intensive care unit, and he found himself in a bind. His son had breathing issues and required constant supervision.

Lou Marino的第一个孩子在新生儿重症监护病房，他陷入了困境。他的儿子有呼吸困难，需要时刻监护。

"Every time that alarm would go off, it would freak me out," said Marino, of Swampscott, Massachusetts. "It was stressful. I did a lot of skin-to-skin contact with my son to let him know I was there and that I was trying to protect him."

“我会为每一次响起的警铃声感到不安。” 来自马萨诸塞州斯科特市的Marino说道。“压力很大。我与儿子进行了许多皮肤接触，我要让他知道我在那里，我在努力保护他。”

Soon after his son came home, he decided to quit his job and become a stay-at-home dad.

儿子回家后不久，他决定辞去工作，成为一名全职爸爸。

Jeremy Hastons of Austin, Texas, had no paternity leave and worked nights and weekends as an assistant manager at a restaurant to have enough time with his family. When his wife delivered an 11-pound baby with jaundice, he had just a week's worth of vacation time saved up. He took over all the household duties such as meal prep, cooking, cleaning and running the necessities of life while his wife recovered and focused on their newborn.

德克萨斯州奥斯汀市的Jeremy Hastons没有陪产假，晚上和周末都在一家餐馆做助理经理，以便有足够的时间陪伴家人。当他的妻子生下一个患有黄疸，重11磅的婴儿时，他只挤出了一周的假期。他接手了所有的家务活，如提前备餐、做饭、打扫卫生和管理生活必需品，而他的妻子则恢复了健康并全身心照顾新生儿。

Cannon Ingalls was an emergency medical technician and was paid hourly. After a cesarean section, his wife couldn't drive for a month. He had to take time off to do childcare, run errands and grocery shop to give his wife time to recover. "She wasn't very mobile, and she was stubborn. She wanted to do it all but couldn't."

Cannon Ingalls是一名按小时计酬的急救医疗技术员。他的妻子在剖腹产后，有一个月不能开车。他不得不请假照顾孩子，跑腿儿，逛杂货店，让妻子有时间康复。“她行动不便，而且性格倔强。她想做这一切，但做不到。”

Where do we go from here?

我们向何处去？

People who are hourly workers or don't have an "understanding boss" often don't get that time to be with their newborns, according to Josephine Kalipeni, executive director of Family Values @ Work.
"Paid leave is just as important for men as it is for women," Kalipeni said, "to give all genders the ability to care for their families.

Family Values @ Work的执行董事Josephine Kalipeni表示，那些小时工或没有“善解人意的老板”的人通常没有时间陪伴新生儿。“为了让各种性别的人都能够照顾家庭，带薪休假对男性和女性同样重要。” Kalipeni说道。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


"It's easy to say that they want to be there, but the reality of our world often prevents that from happening," she said. "We've talked to women that were sent into spirals of depression because caring for another can be so overwhelming and demanding." These new mothers, Kalipeni added, develop postpartum depression without enough time off to adjust and without support, whether from a co-parent or family member who has access to leave.

“表达他们的想照顾孩子的意愿很容易，但是现实总是阻止实现意愿。”她说道。“我曾经和那些陷入抑郁漩涡的女性交流过，因为照顾他人是非常沉重和费力的。” Kalipeni补充说，这些新妈妈在没有足够的时间调整，以及孩子的共同抚育人或者能够享受陪产假的家庭成员没有给予支持的情况下，都会患上产后抑郁症。

Many dads that I spoke to talked about being pressured into not taking leave or keeping that leave to a minimum. And even the ones that did qualify for three months' worth of leave couldn't afford to take it. There are a lot of sacrifices that we make as parents, but time with our newborns shouldn't be one.

许多与我交流过的父亲都谈到了被迫不休假或将尽量少请假的问题。有些人即使有资格享受三个月的假期，但是他们负担不起假期带来的后果。

How we treat and talk about fathers matters.

我们对待和谈论父亲的方式很重要。

We are never babysitting, and we are never helping out Mom, a phrase that insults mothers and fathers. We are parenting and we deserve to have that time with our families to raise good humans. The idea of the bumbling idiot is done, and paid paternity leave needs to be a reality.

我们从来没有照顾过孩子，并且从来没有帮助过妈妈这句话冒犯到了妈妈们和爸爸们。我们也将为人父母，我们应该花时间和家人一起将孩子抚育成为优秀的人。装模作样的白痴想法已经存在了，需要实现的是带薪陪产假。

Where are all the real men? We are busy raising and spending time with our children.

真正的男人都在哪里？我们正为抚养孩子，花时间陪伴孩子忙得四脚朝天。

Shannon Carpenter is the author of "The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad" and co-host of the Dadhouse Podcast. He and his family live in Lee's Summit, Missouri.

Shannon Carpenter是《The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad》的作者，也是《Dadhouse Podcast》的共同主持人。他和他的家人住在密苏里州的李苏米特。