有哪些拒绝求婚的好方法？
What are good ways to refuse a marriage proposal?
译文简介
网友：在我年轻貌美的时候我害怕会发生这样的事，我试图在对方求婚之前就阻止。如果他们说了或做了一些看起来很调情或浪漫的事情，我会明确表示我没有同样的感觉。当然，我对这件事尽量表现得彬彬有礼。如果可以，我会开玩笑的说。重要的是让他们提前知道，如果他们求婚......
正文翻译
What are good ways to refuse a marriage proposal?
拒绝求婚的好方法有哪些?
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When I was young and attractive and I was afraid something like this would happen, I tried to forestall it before the confrontation.
If they said or did something that seemed flirty or romantic, I’d make it clear that I didn’t feel the same way. Of course I tried to be gracious about it. When I could, I’d be jokey. The important thing was to let them know in advance that if they pushed, my answer would be no. The only quotes I remember (it’s been a long time since I was either young or attractive) are things like:
“Please don’t do that. We’re not that kind of friends.”
“Not so close! We aren’t dating. Save it for someone you’re going out with.”
That last bit was a theme, not that I needed it often, but “Save it for someone you want to date” got the point across that I wasn’t that person.
在我年轻貌美的时候我害怕会发生这样的事，我试图在对方求婚之前就阻止。
如果他们说了或做了一些看起来很调情或浪漫的事情，我会明确表示我没有同样的感觉。当然，我对这件事尽量表现得彬彬有礼。如果可以，我会开玩笑的说。重要的是让他们提前知道，如果他们求婚，我的答案是否定的。我记得的唯一一句话（我已经不再年轻有魅力很久了）是这样的：
“请不要那样做。我们不是那种朋友。”
“没那么亲密！我们不是在约会。把它留给和你约会的人。”
最后一点是一个主题，不是我经常需要它，而是“把它留给你想约会的人”表明我不是（他的）那个人。
It depends on the situation in which you are getting the proposal.
If he/she is a fairly new person in your life and tells you he/she wants to be in a relationship with you then just tell them that you don't know them enough to go out with them. Simple. Don't promise them anything for the future as well.
If he/she is mad after you and it is acting too crazy and bothering you day and night then you need to cut yourself off from them. That's not how these things work. Just block them.
If he/she is publicly trying to propose you, which is rare, don't embarrass them by saying No and running away. Just don't say yes or no but instead take them away from the crowd with a smile and tell them the truth in private. Also tell him/her that it's not appropriate to propose in public until and unless you are sure that the other person also likes you and is anticipating a proposal.
Worst case, if he/she is a close friend whom you don't want to lose but also don't like them in a romantic way, then be honest with them. Tell them that you want only friendship and this is not a good idea.
Last, if someone is sending you a love proposal via his or her a friend instead of coming to you directly and you don't even know them, then just tell them you are into someone else.
Avoid flipping out or shouting at the person, unless things go out of hands. Then giving them a piece of your mind is the best.
These are the most decent and effective ways of turning down a proposal.
这取决于你在什么情况下被求婚。
如果他/她是你生活中的新朋友，告诉你他/她想和你谈恋爱，那就告诉他/她你还不了解他/她，不能和他/她约会。这很简单。你也不要向他们承诺未来的任何事情。
如果他/她对你很生气，而且表现得太疯狂，日夜打扰你，那么你需要与他们断绝关系。事情不是这样的。阻止他们。
如果他/她在公开场合向你求婚(这很少见)，不要说“不”然后逃跑，这会让他们感到尴尬。不要说“是”或“不是”，而是微笑着把他们从人群中带走，私下告诉他们真相。同时告诉他/她，在公开场合求婚是不合适的，除非你确定对方也喜欢你并且期待求婚。
最糟糕的情况是，如果他/她是一个你不想失去的亲密朋友，但又不喜欢他/她，那么就对他们诚实。告诉他们你只想要友谊，求婚不是个好主意。
最后，如果有人通过他或她的朋友向你求婚，而不是直接来找你，你甚至都不认识他们，那么就告诉他们你喜欢别人。
除非事情失去控制，否则不要发脾气或对对方大喊大叫。那么向他们表达你的想法是最好的。
这是拒绝求婚最体面最有效的方式。
I will do you one better, I will tell you what all not to do while declining this proposal.
Don’t friend-zone them
They asked for an answer, not a bargain
Don’t pity them
They are not any lesser for getting rejected
Don’t be indecisive
If its a no, don’t say MAYBE
Don’t make fake excuses
You don’t need a fake relationship to say no to a proposal
Don’t try to compensate
They didn’t ask for emotional SUPPORT.
Now go ahead and deliver a respectful NO, holding you head high and leave both parties enough space to maintain their self-respect.
我有一个更好的办法，我会告诉你在拒绝求婚的同时什么不能做。
不要把他们当朋友。
他们要的是一个答案，而不是一笔交易。
不要可怜他们。
虽然被拒绝了，但是他们不是失败者。
不要优柔寡断。
如果答案是“不”，不要说“也许”。
不要编造借口。
你不需要一段假恋情来拒绝求婚。
不要试图补偿。
他们没有寻求情感支持。
现在开始吧，昂首挺胸并恭敬地说“不”，给双方留下足够的空间来保持自尊。
There is no good way to do this. If that person is proposing it is going to hurt to be rejected. Get ready for the relationship to be over. Now don’t say yes just because of this but yes it’s going to hurt the person proposing.
Now if you fear this is coming then head it off at the pass now. Tell your partner to let you talk then explain you’ve thought a lot about it but you feel right now is not a great time for you to be engaged. You have too much going on and you are not ready to deal with that yet. Let him know that you will tell him when you are ready for that.
Now if this happens the best thing I can say is do your best to tell him you just aren’t ready for this yet. Most likely the relationship is over or about to be but don’t get married if you aren’t ready for it. Marriage is a lot of work even in the best of them and going in with doubt and resentment is a recipe for disaster.
In the end though there is no good way to reject a persons love for you. And let’s be honest that’s not your fault but it’s not his either.
没有好的方法可以做到这一点。如果那个人求婚了，被拒绝会很痛苦。准备好结束这段感情吧。不要因为这个就答应了，但这确实会伤害求婚的人。
现在，如果你担心这会发生，那么现在就去阻止它，告诉对方先谈谈，然后解释说你想了很多，但你觉得现在不是订婚的好时机。你有太多的事情要做，你还没有准备好，让他知道你准备好了会告诉他。
现在如果发生这种情况，我能说的最好的话就是尽你所能告诉他你还没有准备好。最有可能是关系已经结束或即将结束，如果你还没有准备好，但不要结婚。婚姻是一项重大的事情，即使是最好的婚姻，带着怀疑和怨恨走进婚姻殿堂也会带来灾难。
最后虽然没有好办法拒绝一个人对你的爱。老实说，这不是你的错，但也不是他的错。
As mentioned in other answers, I agree too no matter how politely you refuse the person will get hurt.
But you have to make it clear and a straight answer. No dwindling around or confused state. Because this might lead the person to hope.
在印度，你的人生目标就是结婚！
正如其他回答中提到的，我也同意，无论你多么礼貌地拒绝，对方都会受到伤害。
但你必须清楚明了地回答，回答时不要模棱两可，因为这可能会让人产生希望。
Thank them for the proposal and say it is a great honor then kindly say you do not feel the same way. You like them etc but not to the point you want to get married. Wish them the best and leave. Say it camly, slowly and kindly. Then cut off communication to avoid dragging it out. wishing you the best.
感谢他们的求婚，并说这是一个巨大的荣誉，然后友好地说你不这样认为。你虽然喜欢他们但还没有到结婚的程度。祝他们一切顺利，然后离开。你平静地，慢慢地，友好地说明这一切，然后断绝联系。这是结束关系的正确方式，祝你万事如意。
Any proposal you reject will hurt the sentiments of other person.The beauty lies in reducing this hurt.
If you are friends:-
You can have a detailed discussion and tell him that we are not a good match .To ease this ,for every like he/she has you can try the opposite.for example you can say you love non veg , when he is veg.You will prefer work if if he prefers a non working wife.You can Iam lazy,shopoholic,alcoholic etc whatever may help you to decrease his interest.
If you love or intent to marry someone you can say that you have already found a partner and want to be happy with him and that you deserve someone better.
If you are already married you can always say so and talk to further decline his interest in polite manner.You can talk about Indian values & beliefs.
If you are unmarried and in school or college.
Show him way as his vision is blurred because of you.Tell him that you would like to concentrate on your career and study and not looking for anything now. Ask him to take his career serious too.
If you have met couple of occasion: Neither you know about him nor he knows you much but are acquittance. Talk to him and use tips given above.Slowly you can start showing interest in other of your friends , girls specially and show your disinterest by less time spending with him.Automatically he will realize and switch to somebody else. But dont ignore this is the mistake many do which can lead to issues.
If you have met first time: you can smile and say it that you are not interested or use eye contact to ignore and walk away.
Hope it helps.
无论如何拒绝求婚都会伤害他人的感情，拒绝之美在于如何减少这种伤害。
如果你们是朋友：
你们可以进行详细的讨论，告诉他你们不是一对很好的伴侣。为了缓解这一问题，对于每个喜欢他/她的人，你可以尝试相反的方法。例如，当他是素食者时，你可以说你喜欢不吃素的人。如果他喜欢一个不工作的妻子，你说你会更喜欢工作。你可以说我懒惰、爱购物、酗酒等任何可能帮助你降低他兴趣的东西。
如果你爱另一个人或打算和他结婚，你可以说自己已经找到了另一半，你值得一个更好的伴侣。
如果你已经结婚了，你也可以这样说，并礼貌地与他交谈以进一步降低他的兴趣。你可以谈论印度的价值观和信仰。
如果你未婚，还在学校或上大学。
当他的视力因为你而变得模糊时，给他指路。告诉他你想专注于你的事业和学习，现在不考虑其它任何东西。让他也认真对待自己的事业。
如果你见过两次面：你既不了解他，他也不太了解你，与他交谈并使用上面给出的技巧。慢慢地，你可以开始对你的其他朋友表现出兴趣；特别是女孩，通过减少和他在一起的时间来表示你对他不感兴趣。他会自动意识到并转向追求其他人。但不要忽视这一点，这是许多人犯的错误，可能会导致问题。
如果你是第一次见面：你可以微笑着说你没想法，或者通过眼神交流来忽略和走开。
希望对你能有帮助。
If you don't like the person or don't see him/her as a good choice to spend your life with then say no politely.
But don't spend time and fake it that you too are in love because after that if you are breaking up the other guy/girl will be hurt.
Yes or no just be clear.
如果你不喜欢这个人，或者认为他/她不是与你共度一生的好选择，那么礼貌地说“不”。
但是不要花时间假装你也在爱他，因为在那之后如果你分手了，另一个男人/女孩会因此受到伤害。
是或否，请说清楚。
Tell the truth…
I don’t want to get married now.
I don’t wish to marry . . . because I’m not the marrying type of person.
I don’t wish to marry you because I don’t think we’re good for each other over the long run.
I don’t want to marry you because we’re not compatible at that level.
I don’t want to marry you because I’m in love with someone else.
说实话：
我现在不想结婚。
我不想结婚，因为我不是那种会结婚的人。
我不想和你结婚，因为我觉得从长远来看我们彼此都不合适。
我不想嫁给你，因为我们在会合不来。
我不想嫁给你，因为我爱上了别人。
Tell her the brutal truth (whatever it is) so she can get over you and find someone who does want to marry her.
Don’t sugarcoat it with lies that you are too busy with your job. Don’t lie and put it off until some obscure future date.
to say “no”, as opposed to “not right now”.
This wording suggests that you are looking for someone “better”.
Be honest. Don’t waste any more of her time.
I get that not everyone wants to get married.
However, if your girlfriend wanted to get married and you were really in love with her, you’d marry her anyway in the not too distant future.
Sounds like this is not the case for you.. so, don’t waste her time.
告诉她残酷的事实（不管是什么），这样她就能忘掉你，找到一个真正想娶她的人。
不要用你工作太忙的谎言来粉饰它。不要撒谎，把它推迟到某个模糊的未来日期。
说“不”，而不是“现在不行”。
这句话表明你在寻找“更好”的人。
老实说。别再浪费她的时间了。
我知道不是每个人都想结婚。
然而，如果你的女朋友想结婚，而你真的爱上了她，你无论如何都会在不远的将来娶她。
听起来你不是这样的。所以，不要浪费她的时间了。
If you are unable to say yes there and then..you should say you need alittle time to think about it…although if someone you really love asks you to marry them you wouldn't hesitate…so that's your answer right there.
So be kind and don't hurt them any more than you have to….
Simply say… thankyou for your proposal
But I cannot accept. Then you either give them the reasons it depends if you are going to remain together or whether this is a make or break situation.
I hope this helps ..good luck xx
如果你不能马上说“是”，你应该说你需要一点时间来考虑, 如果你真正爱的人向你求婚，你会毫不犹豫地答应, 所以这就是你的答案。
所以，对他们友好一点，不要再伤害他们了。
简单地说, 谢谢你的求婚,
但我不能接受。然后你要么给他们解释原因, 这取决于你们是否要继续在一起，或者这是一个成功还是失败的局面。
我希望这对你有帮助，祝你好运。
Rejection and Hurt is like “Buy one, Get one free” offers! If you reject someone, no matter how polite, how sensitive you behave, the other person will feel bad about it.
But as matured human beings sometimes it becomes necessary to say no. If I was in your place, I would try to be as nice as I could be while declining the offer.
拒绝和伤害就像“买一送一”一样！如果你拒绝了某人，不管你有多么礼貌，表现得多么体贴，对方都会为此感到难过。
但作为成熟的人，有时有必要说“不”。如果我处在你的位置，我会尽力表现得很好，同时拒绝求婚。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
All I would like to say is no matter what or how you refuse a proposal the effect, reaction or the pain it's going to cause to the one who is at the receiving end is going to be the same.
Whilst that's the case, avoid texts and calls to convey your thoughts in such matters, it's recommended to have a conversation in person, this will help you gauge the reaction from the body language and expression and you will be able to frx your thoughts better. It's important to be sensitive as feelings and emotions do take control over the mind and may end up making even a mature person respond immaturely.
我想说的是，无论你以何种方式拒绝求婚，它对接受方的影响、反应或痛苦都是一样的。
在这种情况下，避免发短信和打电话来表达你在这些问题上的想法，建议进行一次面对面的对话，你将从对方的肢体语言和表情中判断对方的反应，你将能够更好地表达你的想法。 保持敏感很重要，因为感觉和情绪确实会控制思想，最终可能会使一个成熟的人做出不成熟的反应
Make sure he doesn’t proposal to you anytime soon. You should have a moment to talk to him and talk how how there’s so much things out the there in the future and you like to keep the relationship as it is now and you’re not thinking going to the next step to start a family. Little clues to make him understand but if he still don’t get it. Just get to the point and it’s better to say it soon than sorry by hurting him.
确保他近期内不会向你求婚。你应该花点时间和他谈谈，谈谈未来有那么多事情要做，你希望保持现在的关系，你没有考虑下一步就组建家庭。给他一点提示，让他明白但如果他还是不明白。直接说重点，说出来总比伤害他好。
By clearly saying "NO", instead of giving excuses like
1. I like you as a friend
2. Citing family issues
3. Saying she is not sure about her future
Though it hurt initially to get rejected, but person is clear in his/her mind that other one does not reciprocate the love.
Instead of having some false hope, person will try someone else.
“Thank you so much for your kind offer, but I must decline. Good luck in your future search for a spouse!”
Yeah, it sounds like you are turning them down for a job, but the words are kind, and just as importantly, they do not imply any wiggle room. You don't want to make the mistake of implying they might change your mind
清楚地说“不”，而不是找借口：
我喜欢和你做朋友
引用家庭问题
说她不确定自己的未来
虽然最初被拒绝是痛苦的，但这个人在他/她的头脑中很清楚，对方并没有回报他的爱。
人们不会抱有虚假的希望，而是会尝试找其他人。
“非常感谢你的好意，但我必须谢绝。祝你今后找到更好的人，祝你好运！”
是的，听起来你是在拒绝他们找工作，但这些话很亲切，同样重要的是，它们并不意味着有任何回旋余地。你不想错误地暗示他们你可能会改变你的想法。
Bad news for you. Any rejection, doesn’t matter how polite and gentle it is, will trigger negative emotion. So there is no way you can reject a girl without hurting her. The challenge is how you can hurt her the least.
The best solution is to tell her what you truly think and feel. But first you must see her in person. You can agree to go out with her to a coffee shop. After a few minutes of normal chit chat you tell her, “I asked you out because I want to tell you something important. I know it is going to hurt your feeling. I feel bad too. But I want to be honest with you. I just don’t have that romantic feeling for you”.
She may give you dramatic responses like angry, crying, etc… But don’t panic. Just keep the silence for a few minutes. She will calm down. Then change the topic and resume with the chit chat. After you leave, do not contact her for 6 months. She needs that time to heal the wound. Then you two can be friends again. Of course, only if you want to.
这对你来说是个坏消息。不管多么礼貌和温柔地决绝一个人，都会引发负面情绪。所以你不可能拒绝一个女孩后而不伤害她。问题在于你怎样才能对她伤害最小。
最好的解决办法是告诉她你真正的想法和感受。但首先你必须亲自去见她。你可以同意和她一起去咖啡馆，在正常的闲聊几分钟后，你告诉她，“我约你出来是因为我想告诉你一些重要的事情，我知道这会伤害你的感情。我也很难过。但我想跟你说实话。我只是对你没有那种浪漫的感觉。”
她可能会给你一些戏剧性的反应，比如生气、哭泣等，但不要惊慌。你只要保持沉默几分钟。她会冷静下来的。然后换个话题，继续聊天。在你离开之后，6个月之内不要联系她。她需要时间来愈合伤口。那你们俩就能重新做朋友了。当然，如果你愿意的话。
Be honest and considerate. “"I want to thank you for always being so thoughtful and for including me in your plans, but I need to be honest and let you know that I have been talking to someone I have been interested in for a very long time, I truly am flattered , and because I think your great, I don't want to lead you on. I hope you can appreciate my honestly and hat it won't affect our friendship, you have been a great person. Most likely they won't want to be around you after that, so your free. Without looking like a dick either.
诚实体贴。"我想感谢你总是这么体贴，把我包括在你的计划中，但我需要诚实地告诉你，我已经和一个我感兴趣的人谈了很长时间，我真的很荣幸，因为我认为你很好，我不想误导你。我希望你能欣赏我的诚实，希望这不会影响我们的友谊，你一直是个好人。在那之后，他们很可能不想再和你在一起了，所以你自由了，你看起来也不像个混蛋。
Any proposal that you decline is rude unless you’re fair to everyone. But as a human being you cannot be fair to everyone. If 10 men asked you out and you declined everyone, you were fair because maybe you are not interested in dating at all. But if 10 men asked you out and you gave a maybe answer to one and yes to someone and no to everyone else then you’ve subliminally ranked the men in your brain. So the first step in declining someone is accepting your limitation as a human being.
And thus, I’d say the best way to refuse a proposal is to be clear and respectful. You could say something like, Oh, I am flattered, but I am not interested in you in the same way as you are.
This does not leave room for future hope and avoids lying.
求婚被拒绝都是打击，除非你对每个人都公平。但作为一个人，你不可能对每个人都公平。如果10个男人约你出去，你拒绝了所有人，这是公平的，因为你可能对约会根本不感兴趣。但是如果有10个男人约你出去，你给其中一个“可能”的答案，对其中一个说“是”，对其他所有人说“不”，那么你潜意识里就会在你的大脑中对这些男人进行排名。所以拒绝某人的第一步是接受你作为一个人的局限性。因此，我认为拒绝求婚的最好方式是表达清楚和尊重。你可以这样说，噢，我受宠若惊，但我对你的兴趣和你（对我）不一样。这样做不会给未来留下希望，也避免了撒谎。
I have a friend who loved a girl. She is very pretty and also pretty intelligent.
One day he proposed that girl. The conversation was as follows:
Boy: I knew you from last 2 years. I love you so much.
Girl: I am absolutely delighted by the way you proposed. Although I didnt like your proposal, I appreciate your taste. We can be friend.
And its been around 6 years and still they are friends.
我有个朋友爱上了一个女孩。她很漂亮，也很聪明。
有一天他向那个女孩求婚。对话如下:
男孩:我认识你两年了，我非常爱你。
女孩:你的求婚方式让我非常高兴。虽然我不喜欢你的求婚，但我欣赏你的品味，我们可以成为朋友。
大概6年了，他们还是朋友。
Depends on your culture. Sometimes it's appreciated when you reject the relationship via the parents, sometimes it's appreciated when you do it as indirect as possible. With poems and metaphors.
Given that you're a Westerner:
Don't hug, unless it's clear that it will be a short goodbye-like one. Definitely don't make out and stuff.
Say it in a way that makes your position unquestionable.
Think of the worst that could happen. Like a heart-attack or a crazy accident where there's suddenly coitus and immediate conception + std. None of us was born a master in communication. As long as you don't make it really bad, it's good enough. If she/he's sad / hurt, that's because he/she's sad / hurt, not because you're an awful creature.
For example:
I'm a bit nervous, so please stick with me: I need to tell you that I don't feel comfortable about your proposal. because I enjoy your friendship. And now I've come to the conclusion that I don't want that to change.
这取决于你的文化。有时你通过父母拒绝这段关系是值得感激的，有时候，你用诗歌和隐喻尽可能间接地表达时，你也会值得感激。
考虑到你是西方人：
不要拥抱，除非很清楚这将是一个短暂的告别。绝对不要亲热什么的。
用一种让你的立场毋庸置疑的方式说出来。
想想可能发生的最坏情况，比如心脏病发作或疯狂的意外，突然的性行为，突然怀孕和性病。我们都不是天生的沟通高手。只要你不把它弄得很糟，就足够好了。如果她/他悲伤/受伤，那不是因为你是一个可怕的生物，而是对方自己的行为。
比如：“我有点紧张，所以请坚持听我说，我对你的求婚感到不舒服。因为我喜欢和你做朋友。现在我得出的结论是，我不想改变这种情况。”
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I do not think you can avoid hurting her however much polite and considerate you are. In these situations it is best to be completely honest and say in no uncertain terms that you are simply not interested. If you tell a lie, she will eventually find out and may use it against you. If you are too polite and considerate, she will think you are interested but something or someone else is holding you back. Believe me, I have seen this type of females who will not take no for an answer. They do not listen to their friends or well wishers and they invite humiliation.
Be firm and after telling her not to bother you any further, avoid her company. She will stop pestering when she gets the message clearly.
我认为无论你多么有礼貌，多么体贴，你都会伤害她。在这种情况下，最好是完全坦诚，毫不含糊地说你就是对她不感兴趣。如果你说谎，她最终会发现并利用它来对付你。如果你太有礼貌和体贴，她会认为你对她感兴趣，但有些东西或其他人阻碍了你。相信我，我见过这样的女人，她们不接受别人的拒绝。她们不听朋友或祝福者的话，她们自找羞辱。坚定告诉她不要再打扰你之后，就不要和她在一起。她明白了就不会再纠缠了。
Mention another girl that you like (or at least find attractive). If she likes you and the interest isn't mutual, pain cannot be avoided unfortunately. It's very considerate of you to not want to hurt her feelings (more men should follow suit), but the best thing is to just be honest- and you can do it without being a jerk. My first suggestion was an indirect way to give her a hint, but if she doesn't get it, then you need to be direct. Just tell her, in your own words, that you think she's great, but that you are not interested. It doesn't have to be blunt- but be clear. It's more respectable to be upfront, rip the bandaid off, then to simply be pleasant and make excuses.. or to just fade out completely. As someone who has been on the opposite end of this, I can say it will save everyone time and energy. Then you both can move on..
你可以提到另一个你喜欢的女孩(或者至少觉得有吸引力)。如果她喜欢你，但是你不喜欢她，不幸的是痛苦是无法避免的。你不想伤害她的感情，这很体贴(更多的男人应该效仿)，但最好的方法是诚实。你可以做到这一点，而不是像个混蛋一样。我的第一个建议给她一个间接的暗示，但如果她不明白，那么你需要直接用你自己的话告诉她，你认为她很棒，但你对她不感兴趣。坦率、撕掉创可贴比简单地表现得愉快和找借口更值得尊敬，或者完全淡出她的生活。作为一个一直站在对立面的人，我可以说这将节省每个人的时间和精力，然后你们都可以各自继续前进。