30多岁的人，你们有什么普通而真诚的建议对20多岁的人说？
Men in their 30's, what is a bit of generic yet genuine advice you''d give to someone in their 20''s?
译文简介
对所有看了这篇帖子的人，我已经列出了最常见的答案。开始存钱；不要屈服于你的职业生涯；注意身体健康，不抽烟喝酒......
正文翻译
To anyone who comes across this post, I've compiled a list of the most common answers.
对所有看了这篇帖子的人，我已经列出了最常见的答案。
Start saving money.
开始存钱
开始存钱
Don't give in to your professional life.
不要屈服于你的职业生涯
不要屈服于你的职业生涯
Look after your health, stop drinking and smoking.
注意身体健康，不抽烟喝酒
注意身体健康，不抽烟喝酒
Know who your friends are and make sure you're not wasting your time with an unsuitable partner.
搞清楚谁是你的朋友，确保不要在不合适的人身上浪费时间
搞清楚谁是你的朋友，确保不要在不合适的人身上浪费时间
Learn how to deal with all the negative emotions; stress, grief, etc.
学习如何应对负面情绪、压力、悲伤等
学习如何应对负面情绪、压力、悲伤等
Don't be afraid to take calculated risks.
不要害怕承担合理的风险
不要害怕承担合理的风险
Enjoy your life, with or without friends.
享受你的生活，无论有没有朋友。
享受你的生活，无论有没有朋友。
Feel free to add anything else, or advocate for the above points from your own personal experiences.
请自由提出其他建议，或者根据你的个人经历来支持以上观点
请自由提出其他建议，或者根据你的个人经历来支持以上观点
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Look after your teeth. Things can get pretty bad there if you don't
注意牙齿健康，不然的话会变得很糟糕
If you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, don't linger and think they'll come around and see the light eventually. Even if it's the hardest thing you do, stop having contact with that person. Do something fun to keep your mind occupied with something else and GET OVER THEM! I did the opposite btw. Lost several good dating years. Still cringe when I think about it.
如果你爱上了一个不爱你的人，不要流连不去，以为他们最终会回到你身边、能让你看到曙光。即使这是你最艰难的事情，也不要再与那个人接触。做一些有趣的事情，散散心，然后忘掉它们！我之前做了相反的事。失去了几年约会时光。当我回想时还是会心疼。
To be honest this can apply to any age group, still sound advice though
老实说，这适用于任何年龄段的人，是合理的建议
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I second that. Remember to take a status on your relationship every once in a while. Is this right for you or are you just sticking around because it's easier then leaving or comfortable. The feeling that you have wasted years sticking around in a relationship that you knew didn't work sucks and dating gets harder when you're older.
同意。记得隔一段时间就对你们的关系进行评估。这对你合适吗？或者你之所以坚持是因为这样比离开更容易或更舒适？那种感觉吧，你在一段知道不会有结果的关系上浪费了很多年的时间，当你年龄增长，约会变得越来越困难。
There’s a difference between friends and drinking buddies
朋友和酒友之间是有区别的
I really like this piece of advice
我真的很喜欢这条建议
This is huge. I feel like many guys never figure it out and that’s one reason a lot of guys in their 40s and older don’t have friends anymore or speak bitterly of “friendship”.
说得好。我觉得很多人都分不清，这也是很多40岁以上的人不再有朋友，或者谈到“友谊”时就觉得苦涩的原因之一。
But is that because they only had drinking buddies or because they never invested in a friendship besides getting hammered?
但这不是因为他们只有酒友，或除了酩酊大醉之外，从来没有在友谊上投入过？
It didn't take me long to quit alcohol once I started. Waking up in the middle of the night with a severe headache and nausea on a weekly basis just because I wanted to be with 'bOyS' was definitely not worth it. Not now, not ever.
我刚开始喝酒没多久就戒掉了。在半夜醒来觉得头很痛、反胃，因为想和伙计们在一起而喝酒是不值得的。现在不喝了，以后也不喝。
I’ve been lucky that my friends, at age 25, are not drinkers, or at least our friendship isn’t from that because I don’t drink. I’m lucky that they’re genuine life connections and we do other meaningful, healthy things when we see each other. I definitely have fewer friends because I reject the drinking lifestyle, but there’s no way I could treat myself the way those kinds of people do.
我很幸运，我25岁的朋友们都不喝酒，或者至少我们的友谊不是由喝酒而来，因为我不喝酒。我很幸运，他们与我有着真正的生活联系，当我们看到彼此时，会做些有意义、健康的事情。我的朋友确实很少，因为我拒绝喝酒的生活方式，但我不可能像那些人那样糟践自己。
Worked twice in small teams of dedicated drinkers and it's brutal how they live. Some of the first group of dudes made double what I did and borrowed cash for the last week of the month because they rinsed it all on booze, ciggies and betting from the pub every weekend. The second were high functioning alcoholics who constantly reeked of booze and got sloshed daily. I just don't know how they do it.
我有两次在一小群酗酒者中工作，他们的生活方式很残酷。第一群人中的一些人赚的钱是我的两倍，但月底就要借钱，因为他们每个周末都在酒吧喝酒、抽烟和赌博。第二群是酗酒者，他们经常散发着酒臭，每天都喝得酩酊大醉。我都不明白他们是怎么做到这样的。
I don’t know either man. When I was a kid my parents had some friends like that. Their lifestyles were disgusting and depressing to me. Maybe that helped me in staying away from it as I grew up.
这两种人我都不认识。在我小时候我父母有一些这样的朋友。他们的生活方式让我感到恶心和压抑。也许这有助于在我长大后远离这种生活。
This one is really important, and not because you can't have friends you basically just drink a lot with, which is what some people seem to get wrong.
It's good to have these friends too, because sometimes all you want to do on an evening is get hammered and have a good time. Nobody cares if you have no friends that drink alcohol, that doesn't make you or your social circle better.
What this guy means however: know who has your back and who is a friend worth investing in, and who is just a person you get along great with on a night out. Don't try and rely on the latter, because you have them for something else. Both are good to have.
这一点真的很重要，不是因为你不能有朋友，基本上你只是和他们喝了很多酒，而一些人错把这当成了友谊。
有这些朋友也可以，因为有时候，你在晚上想做的就是喝得酩酊大醉，痛快一把。没人在乎你有没有喝酒的朋友，有也不会让你的社交圈变得更好。
层主的意思是，了解谁会支持你，谁是值得投入的朋友，谁只是你晚上出去玩时勉强应付的人。不要试图依赖后者，因为你是用他们来做其他事情的。两者都有是好事。
To add to that, there's also a difference between friends and work friends
除此之外，朋友和工友之间也有区别
Stop smoking.
不要抽烟
Oh I've already fallen deep into the wormhole of smoking. It's so hard to quit.
啊，我已经深陷吸烟的坑洞里。戒烟太难了。
I know bro, it's really hard to quit but you can do it with enough willpower.
我知道，兄弟，戒烟真的很难，但有足够的意志力，你可以做到
I plan on quitting soon. Just have to phase it out gradually.
Cold turkey hasn't quite worked out for me.
我准备打算戒掉。只是要逐步的来。
对我来说一下子戒掉是不行的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Hey man bit of advice- go on a vacation and quit cold turkey. Two weeks, if you can swing it. Smoking is all about habits, if your routine is turned on it’s head it’s so much easier to quit.
I tried everything, this was the one that worked, finally. I gave myself a mantra too, said “it’ll never be easier to say no than now.” At first it made sense cause I was on vacation, but then it became even truer because I hadn’t had a smoke in a day, a week, a month, a year.
嘿，兄弟，给你点建议——去度个假，然后一下戒掉。如果你可以改变的话，两个星期就够了。抽烟完全是习惯问题，如果你的习惯改变了，戒烟就会容易很多。
我什么都试过，终于用这种方法成功了。我也给自己一个暗示，说:“现在拒绝是很容易的”。一开始，这是有道理的，因为我是在度假，后来就变得名副其实了，因为我一天、一周、一个月、一年都没有抽烟了。
I can second this! As an ex smoker i found that my cravings dropped heavily whenever I was in a new place (I’ve moved countries a number of times). There were slip ups of course but this worked for me
我赞同这个！作为一名前吸烟者，我发现当我到一个新地方时，我的烟瘾都大大下降。当然会有些失误，但这对我很有效
That's not planning, that's delaying. There's nothing to plan there, only to do.
Just my little opinion, sorry if it was too direct. All the best quitting! You will do it!
那不是计划，是拖延。没什么好计划，只有直接做。
只是我的一点意见，如果太直接的话，很抱歉。祝戒烟成功！你会做到的！
Don’t become a slave to your career at the expense of everything else. I made a lot of money but it came with a huge cost. The thing I did get right was having a career I really enjoyed and still do.
Stay healthy, exercise regularly. Don’t go all out crazy on some fitness lifestyle you can’t sustain. I am 52 and probably in better shape than I was in my late 30’s just because I keep chipping away at it.
If you want kids, don’t wait too late. I was 40 when I had them and even though I am in good shape, it is really hard.
If you aren’t already, learn to be self sufficient i.e. You can clean, cook, repair stuff and handle finances. These days having your shit together will make it a lot easier to find a decent partner. At the very least you will have a better standard of living.
不要以牺牲一切为代价成为事业的奴隶。我赚了很多钱，却付出了巨大的代价。我做对的事情是，拥有一份我非常喜欢的职业，现在仍然喜欢。
保持健康，经常锻炼。不要疯狂地追求你无法维持的健身方式。我今年52岁，可能比我30多岁时的身材还好，只是因为我一直在健身。
如果你想要孩子，不要等得太晚。我40岁了才有孩子，尽管我的身材很好，但还是很难。如果你还没有孩子，学着自给自足，比如你可以打扫、做饭、修理东西和处理财务。现如今，把这些事做好了更容易找到一个像样的伴侣。至少你会有更好的生活水平。
Take care of your body. Get in the habit now while you're still young. Stretch, exercise regularly, eat well.
Your body slowly starts turning to shit in your 30s so do everything you can to delay it as long as possible.
照顾好你的身体。趁你还年轻的时候就养成这个习惯。伸展身体，定期锻炼，健康饮食。
你的身体在30多岁的时候开始慢慢变差，你所能做得只是尽可能推迟它变差的时间。
I can not stress strength training and diet enough. I’m nearly 50 and have maintained my diet and physique since my early 20s. I have a very active lifestyle while also not beating up my body.
This has allowed me to maintain high energy levels, maintain the body I want, and live like someone 20 years younger.
I have no knee or back pain. My body does not hurt. My sex drive is high. My energy is high.
Maintain a good diet and strength train and life is amazingly good as you get older.
怎么强调力量训练和饮食都不够。我快50岁了，从20多岁起我就一直保持饮食和体型。我的生活方式非常积极，也不糟践我的身体。
这让我精力充沛，保持我想要的身体，像20岁的年轻人一样生活。
我没有膝盖或背部疼的问题。我的身体不痛。我的性欲很强，精力旺盛。
保持良好的饮食和力量训练，随着年龄的增长，生活会变得非常美好。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That's incredible. How do you find the time though? I'm half your age and I'll just not indulge in exercise because I'll tell myself I've already had a long day.
很不可思议。但是你是怎么找到时间的？我的年龄是你的一半，我不会沉迷于锻炼，因为我会告诉自己已经渡过了漫长的一天。
At that point it’s habit. Yeah, you’re going to have off weeks, such is this week for me, and you’ll pick it back up. The idea is to keep going at specific times on certain days, and you keep going.
这是习惯。是的，你会停下来几个星期，比如我这个星期就是这样，但会重新开始的。我的想法是在特定的时间特定的日子里继续，你就会继续。
I think that hour or 2 in the gym becomes a bit of a meditation slot for me. It's more than just exercise, it's also a slot in the day when you can just think. Chill. Ponder your problems, ignore them if you want. It's part of the day because it really helps. At least for me.
我认为在健身房里的那一两个小时对我来说是冥想的时间。这不仅是锻炼，也是一天中可以思考的时间。思考你的问题，如果你愿意也可以把它们忽略。这是一天中的一部分，因为它真的很有帮助。至少对我来说是这样。
Learn how to properly invest.
学会如何正确投资。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Shit been thinking about this lately, i really should start
干，我最近一直在想这个，我真的应该开始学习了
Investing is more about patience than intense analysis in my opinion. Just consistently putting money into a S&P 500 index fund and a total market index fund are what I'm doing.
在我看来，投资更多的是持之以恒，而不是激烈的分析。我正在做的，就是不断把钱投入标准普尔500指数基金和总体市场指数基金。
Came here to say this. But it’s not even “investing” as that word tends to make people overthink.
$25/paycheck into an index fund in a registered account. Make the withdrawals automatic so you can forget all about it.
But you have to start early!
我来就是为了说这事。但这不是“投资”，因为这个词往往会让人想太多。
每个月工资拿25美元存入一个注册账户的指数基金。设为自动投入，这样你就可以把它忘掉。
但你得早点开始！
Listen more than you talk.
多听少说。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
This, right here, is it. For two reasons:
You learn from or about others.
You say less stupid shit.
对的，有两个原因：
你向他人学习或了解他人。
少说些蠢话。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I really need to work on the latter. Like a fuck ton.
If I can just limit myself to saying stupid shit on Reddit I think I’ll be just fine.
我真的需要在第二点上努力。
如果我能让自己在Reddit少说些蠢话，我想就没那么糟心了
Do not be afraid to tell women you find them attractive and want to take them out on a date.
不要害怕对女性说我觉得你很有吸引力，想和你出去约会。
As a woman, this is a great advice. There’s misconception that women see opportunities with men as permanent (oh he doesn’t have enough money to take care of me/will he be a good father/boyfriend? Etc) lots of women just want to have fun, meet people and experience things. There were PLENTY of guys who I kinda knew liked me but never made a move and as a woman I had a decent amount of guys already making moves so I wasn’t gonna go out of my way for some fun with them but if they had I most likely would have said yes. I’m not looking to date and get married right away, but it’s nice to get to know someone and experience new things occasionally. Those guys never asked me out because they talked themselves down and that was sign enough for me to not be interested enough to ask them out. Short answer, just go for it!
作为一个女性，我认为这是一个很好的建议。有一种误解，认为女性觉得和男性在一起的机会是永久的（比如，哦他没有足够的钱来照顾我。他会成为一个好父亲、男朋友吗？等等），很多女性只是想玩得开心，认识一些人，体验一些事情。有很多我认识的小伙子喜欢我，但他们从来没有行动过，而作为一个女性，已经有很多的男性行动了，所以我不会特意和他们一起玩，但如果他们提出来，我很可能会答应。我不想马上约会和结婚，但认识某人并偶尔经历新鲜事情还是不错的。那些小伙子从来不约我出去，因为他们把自己看得很低，这足以让我没有兴趣约他们出去了。简短的回答，直接去做！
obviously you can't speak for every woman out there but how would you like to be approached? What should I say when I see someone who I want to take them out for coffee?
虽然你无法代表所有女性，但你希望别人怎样接近你？当我看到一个想要带她出去喝咖啡的女性时，我该说什么？
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
As a woman (I obviously also do not represent the opinions of all women) I think the best way to approach me if we are strangers is just by opening up a friendly genuine conversation relevant to the context of us meeting (if I’m working in a cafe for example, you could ask how work is doing, then ask me what I do and share information about yourself as well etc). Find things in common between you and her, it can be stupid like “oh I also prefer MacBooks” or “I am also in STEM”. But things in common do make us happy and feel closer to the person.
Also sadly you must know that we are afraid of strange men. Not in a crippling fear kinda way, but you kinda have to prove to us that you are not here to take advantage of us or worse… This can be done by maintaining a distance, and understanding that when a girl is not engaging in a conversation she is most likely uninterested.
I also suggest being with a friend, so you can approach a girl, make small conversation, if it goes well maybe ask for their social media or phone number, then tactfully slide away. say something like “well, my friend is probably waiting for me so I gotta go, but very nice meeting you, let’s stay in touch”
Also I would not compliment her right off the bat. Talk a little first, then maybe in the end before your exit say something like “you seem like a really cool person” or “I like your jacket”or something light. You really don’t wanna overdo it.
I hope this is kinda helpful!
作为一名女性，我显然也无法代表所有女性，我认为，如果我们是陌生人，接近我的最好方式就是展开一场与我们会面背景相关的友好、真诚的对话，比如，如果我在咖啡馆工作，那么你可以问我的工作如何，然后分享你自己的信息等等。找到你们之间的共同点，就算傻一点也没关系，比如“哦，我也喜欢MacBooks”，或“我也在STEM”。共同点确实能让我们觉得愉快，让两人的关系更接近。
另外，你必须要知道我们害怕陌生人。不要以一种令人恐惧的方式，你必须向我们证明你不是来利用我们的或更糟……这可以通过保持距离来实现，还要理解，当一个女孩不参与谈话时，她很可能是不感兴趣。
我还建议你和朋友在一起，这样你就可以接近一个女孩，和她闲聊，如果进展顺利，可以问他们的社交账号或电话号码，然后得体的离开。你可以说:“呃，我的朋友可能在等我，所以我得走了，但很高兴认识你，让我们保持联系。”
另外，我不会马上恭维她。先聊一下，然后在你离开之前说一些像“你看起来真的很酷” 或者“我喜欢你的夹克” 之类的轻佻话。不要做得过火。
我希望这有帮助！
The other commenter gave some really good advice! But sometimes, when I’m out at a coffee shop getting some work done or hanging out with friends, I’m not interested in conversing with men. So it might not work if you try that approach with me.
What does work for me though, is if you’re just straight up and direct (I don’t wanna waste time making small talk when I’m trying to be productive, so I love when guys ask me out directly). I’ve had guys just walk up to me, sit down in front of me, and say “Hey, I’m ____,” to which I respond, “Hi, I’m sapphiredesires!” Then they just get to it: “I think you’re really beautiful and I was wondering if I could take you out sometime?” To which I almost always say sure!
It’s just one date, and I always give these guys my time because I love the initiative, I love how proactive they are, and that they overcame any obstacles to their confidence and just made the move. From this, I’ve also just made a lot of platonic friends! By the end of the date, if it doesn’t work out, we kind of both know it, but if the vibes are there, it’s a great start to a friendship!
Also, something that might help grow that confidence is simply complimenting women more — with no expectation in return. I’ve had men randomly stop me and tell me that I’m gorgeous and I honestly never forget those moments if they don’t do it in a creepy way. You have nothing to lose and the receiver will likely remember you forever, even though your paths may never cross again. I actually practice this too, just because why the fuck not? Haha.
楼上给出了另一个好建议！但有时，当我在咖啡馆工作结束或与朋友闲逛时，我没兴趣和男性闲聊。所以，如果你用这种方式接近我可能不起作用。
但是，如果你直截了当（我不想在努力工作时浪费时间闲聊，所以我喜欢男性直接约我出去），这对我会起作用。曾经有男性直接走过来，坐在我面前，说“嗨，我是……”对此我回答说“嗨，我是急性子！” 然后他就直接说：“我觉得你真的很漂亮，我想知道能不能找个时间约你出去？”对此我几乎总是说可以。
这只是一次约会，我总是给他们时间，因为我喜欢他们的主动，他们克服了阻碍他们自信的障碍，并且采取了行动。由此，我也交了很多柏拉图式的朋友！约会结束时，如果不成功，我们都知道，但如果有共鸣，这是一段友谊的好开始！
另外，一些可能有助于增强自信的事情是，更多地称赞女性，以不期待得到回报的方式。曾经有一些男性拦住我，说我非常漂亮，如果他们不是以令人害怕的方式，我真的永远不会忘记那些时刻。你没有什么好失去的，接受者可能会永远记住你，哪怕你们从此不再有交集。其实我也在练习这么做，为什么不呢？哈哈。
That thing you're thinking you want to do, but you aren't sure you can?
Do it
Don't fucking wait, just do it. It doesn't get easier, and often gets harder.
那些你认为你想做，但你不确定能不能做的事：
别等，直接去做。等不会变得更容易，反而经常变得更难。
Stop being a hater. Other people’s successes does not take away from your opportunities.
不要成为嫉妒者。别人的成功不会夺走你的机会。
Stop giving a shit what other people might think of you and be yourself.
Once I started doing that my social and dating life dramatically improved.
不要在意别人对你的看法，做你自己。
一旦我开始这样做，我的社交和约会生活就大大改善了。
Start saving now and never fall for a party girl.
从现在开始存钱，千万别爱上交际花
Start saving and investing for retirement like yesterday.
像昨天一样开始为退休存钱和投资。
Integrity is all a man really has. Never sacrifice it.
正直是人真正拥有的一切。不要舍弃它
Drink more water and less alcohol and no energy drinks or soda.
多喝水，少喝酒，不要喝能量饮料和汽水。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Build a career in something you're good at
you don't need university to be a success
wear a condom and have a DNA test
save you money to buy a house or some kind of property, live with a family member if you have to
ignore the latest fashions and trends, buy cheap and wear a suit as often as possible
Socialise and build networks
protect your mental health
在你擅长的领域发展事业。
你不需要上大学就能成功
戴安全套，做DNA检测
存钱买房子或某种资产，必要时和家人住在一起
不要理会最新的时尚和潮流，买便宜的衣服，尽可能地穿西装
建立社交网络
保护心理健康
You owe your current company nothing, they will replace you the second it makes financial sense for them. The majority of the time the best way to move up is to move out to other companies. Also, keep your lixed in up to date and accepting messages.
你不欠你现在的公司什么。一旦对他们有利，他们会立刻换掉你。大多数时候，晋升的最佳方式是跳槽到其他公司。另外，保持你的通讯状态，接收信息。
Don’t wash your hair everyday.
不要天天洗头。
For all that's worth, please don't watch porn. That's the biggest mental entrapment you can put yourself into, and by the time you come out, if you manage to, you'll have messed up a good chunk of your life.
无论如何，请不要看色情片。这是你能让自己陷入的最大的精神陷阱，当你出来时——如果你设法做到了，你会把你的生活搞得一团糟。
Use your 20s to work, party and workout as hard as you can. Don't bother with weed and computer games, plenty of time for them when you are older
尽可能地在你20多岁时工作、聚会和锻炼。别沉迷于大麻和电脑游戏，当你老了你有的是时间享受他们。
If you are the smartest one in the room at your job…your at the wrong job
如果你是办公室里最聪明的人，那你选错了工作
Sleep is important.
Put money into your retirement early and often.
Keeping the weight off is easier than losing weight.
Frasier is a really good TV show.
睡眠很重要。
尽早、经常为退休存钱。
变肥比减肥容易。
《欢乐一家亲》是部很好的电视剧。
30 is not the new 20 and can never be. everyone begins getting old after 30. so don't wait for your life to change, do it now.
30岁不是新的20岁，绝不是。每个人都在30岁以后开始变老。所以不要等到你的生活改变，现在就做。
Try your best.
Learn from your mistakes, and your triumphs.
Stop for a moment, think about and try to appreciate what you have in your life.
Find something you would love to try, like a hobby or an instrument, and pursue it.
You’re going to make a fool of yourself at some point or another. Let go of your ego, your pride, and try to be better next time mistakes happen.
尽你最大的努力。
从错误和成功中吸取经验。
停下来想一想，试着去欣赏你生活中所拥有的一切。
找一些你想尝试的东西，比如爱好或乐器，然后追求它。
你总有出丑的时候，放下你的自尊心，你的骄傲，努力在下次错误发生时做得更好。