你怎么知道自己恋爱了(一)

Tushar Arora, B.Tech from Galgotias University (2019)
Falling in love is one of the most exciting, rewarding and scariest things you could ever do.
Once you’re in love with someone, it’s hard to remember how you lived without him or her. Of course, you were alive before you met this person, but you really didn’t start “living” until the two of you met.
There are few things which will tell you that you in love :
When after reading her message you start smiling.
Seeing her in person is the best part of the day. No matter how your day must be going but seeing her always bring a smile on your face.
You get angry when someone else comments about her.
When you go beyond limits just to make sure that everything is perfect for her. For example: If I tried to construct a list of things I wouldn’t do for her, the list would be pretty empty. When you’re in love with someone, you do whatever you can to make her happy.

图沙尔·阿罗拉，加尔戈蒂亚斯大学技术学士（2019 年）。
坠入爱河是你能遇到的最令人兴奋、最有收获、最恐怖的事情之一。
一旦你爱上一个人，你很难记起没有他或她，你是怎么生活的。当然，在你遇到这个人之前你是活着的，但直到你们两个相遇，你才算是真正开始“生活”。
有几件事情能告诉你你在恋爱：
当你看完她的留言时，你会开始笑。
当面见她是一天中最美好的时光。不管你的一天过得如何，但当你看到她的时候，她总是会给你带来微笑。

My personal favourite : She is the first thought in your mind when you wake up and last thought before you go to bed :)
When you listen to every little detail she expressed earlier and implement it afterwards to show that you really care.
When your face lit up as soon as she calls :)
When her mood affects your mood.
The best part is when you tease her about makeup and she being fat , she thinks that I am making fun of her but I was just truly admiring her beauty.
You became a better person yourself just to impress her ;)

当别人评论她时你会生气。
当你尽自己全部的能力只是为了确保一切对她来说都是完美的时候。例如：如果我试图列出一个我不会为她做的事情的列表，这个列表将是非常空的。当你爱上一个人时，你会尽你所能让她开心。
我个人最喜欢的一句话是：她是你醒来的第一个念头，也是你睡觉前的最后一个念头。
当你会把她之前说的每一个小细节都听进去，并且付诸实施，以此来表明你是真的在乎她。
当她一叫你，你的脸就亮了起来（非常高兴）。
当她的情绪影响你的情绪时。
最棒的是，当你取笑她化妆和她胖的时候，她会认为我在取笑她，但我真的是在欣赏她的美丽。
当你为了给她留下好印象，而把自己变成一个更好的人时。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

When you just create unnecessary doubts in your subject , so you could discuss it with her in person as well as on the phone. That feeling is amazing ;)
When suddenly you starts listening to romantic songs because that reminds you of her.
When your feelings for her are unconditional i.e. you do things for her but does not expect anything from her. If that`s the case, then you are in true love :)
When her needs became much more important than your own.
Sometime along the way, I feel that she is my best friend. I believe this to be true for most people who fall in love.
So how many of you are in love ?

当你只是在你们的话题上表达一些不必要的怀疑，以至于你可以亲自和她讨论，也可以在电话里讨论。那种感觉太棒了。
突然间你开始听浪漫的歌，那会让你想起她。
当你对她的感觉是无条件的，也就是说，你可以为她做一切事情，但不期望从她那里得到任何东西。如果是这样的话，那你就是真爱了。
当她的需求比你自己需求更重要的时候。
有时候，我觉得她是我最好的朋友。我相信大多数坠入爱河的人都是如此。
你们中有多少人恋爱了？

Anonymous
You know that you are in love when time starts to pass slowly, you look back and realize that those uncontrolled warm emotions you first felt for the obxt of your desire had calmed down, but you still are unable to move on from them.
I was the type of girl who would never be too much attached in any relationship. My mother until today asks me: “V, who did you ever really love? I think that none!” .
I had a few relationship and in the beginning, of course, they used to be my sky and world, but after things would “get their normal” if they wanted to break up just to test me, I'd gladly do so and wouldn't be crying later asking them to come back. I simply didn't care much. As soon as those emotions had calmed down, soon my interest in them would decrease greatly. If they'd want to continue together fine. If they wouldn't, fine too.
And THEN, life came to teach me a lesson which I'm still on the process of “getting it”.
I've met a guy and fell for him. For N reasons ( please read: many reasons), we realized, I mean, he realized that it would be a relationship destined to fail and even didn't want to try to give it a chance. I, of course, did not take that easy. I told him I wouldn't give up, but really believing that after those emotions I always felt would pass way, I wouldn't give a damn about him anymore. Well, ho-ho-ho how wrong I was this time! The primary warm emotions and all those cheesy feelings faded away, and I'm still somehow lixed to him, and even though I don't feel that I desperately love him, he is my first thought of the morning and before I go to sleep.
I see his pictures ( I have saved in time before he cut me off from everything) everyday and stare at it imagining what would be like kissing him.

你知道，当你正陷入爱河，随着时间慢慢流逝，你回首往事，意识到那些最初你对你所渴望的对象身上所感受的不受控制的温暖的情绪已经平静了下来，但你仍然无法摆脱它们。
我是那种在任何关系中都不会有太多依恋的女孩。直到今天我的妈妈还问我：“V，你到底爱谁？我感觉你不爱任何人。”
我有过几段感情，一开始，他们曾经是我的天空和世界，但在事情“恢复正常”之后，如果他们只是为了考验我而想和我分手，我会很乐意这样做，我也不会哭着去要求他们回来。我只是不太在乎这段关系。一旦这些情绪平静下来，很快我对它们的兴趣就会大大降低。如果他们想继续在一起，也很好。如果他们不愿意，我也可以接受。
然后，生活给了我一个教训，我现在还在“领会”的过程中。
我遇到了一个人，并且爱上了他。出于N个原因（请读作：许多原因），我们意识到，我的意思是，他意识到这将是一段注定要失败的关系，（所以）他甚至不想给它一个机会。当然，我没有那么容易放弃。我告诉他我不会放弃，但我也真的相信在那些我一直感觉到的情绪过去之后，我会再也不在乎他了。好吧，呵呵，这次我错了！最初的那些温暖的情感和那些做作的感觉渐渐消失了，我仍然不知怎么地和他联系在一起，尽管我并不觉得我非常爱他，但他是我早上醒来第一个想到的和睡觉前最后一个想到的人。
我每天都会看他的照片（在他切断我与他一切的联系之前，我保存下来的），然后盯着照片想象着亲吻他的感觉。

Right now, I mean, half an hour ago, my thoughts were surrounding him and I attempted to send him this following email:
“I miss you, “his name”
I miss your presence even though I have never felt you on my arms.
I miss your lips even though I have never kissed them.
I miss your touch even though you have never touched me.
I miss looking into your eyes even though I never glanced at them.
At the same time I understand how right you are and how is understandable that we keep at distance and forget all this, one side of me keeps fantasizing the possibility of you and me becoming us.
It's crazy. I know. It is 99% inclined to fail. But still...I don't seem to understand. I don't see reason when it is obvious right on my face.
I try to project myself being with someone else, but it just sounds strange and makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don't belong by their side. It just doesn’t feel right. They are not you. They will never be you. You are YOU. And it is you who I want: My tough and at the same time sweet introvert who I want to look after as my small baby, my Man, my companion. It's you who I want by my side. It is you who I can't remove from my mind and heart, and you have hurt me so much through all this, still it does not seem to matter. I can't be mad at you for long, mi amor.
I never imagined that someday I'd have these feelings for a someone who I never thought I'd be interested in the first place.
I'm aware of many issues which are stumbling rocks on our way. I'm aware of your family take on it and everything else related to it. I'm not unconscious of the 100 reasons you have mentioned.
Still, why are these things about feelings so difficult to cope with?
[...]

现在，我的意思是，半小时前，我的思绪仍旧围绕着他，我试图给他发送以下内容的电子邮件：
“我想你，他的名字。
我想念你的存在，即使我从未感觉到你在我的臂弯。
我想念你的嘴唇，即使我从未吻过。
我想念你的抚摸，即使你从未碰过我。
我想念看着你的眼睛，即使我从来没有看一眼。
与此同时，我明白你是多么地正确，让我们保持距离而忘记这一切是多么地令人可以理解，（但另一方面）我不断幻想着你和我成为我们的可能性。
太疯狂了。我知道。99%的概率会失败。但我还是不明白。我看不出有什么很明显的理由。
我试图去和别人在一起，但这听起来很奇怪，让我觉得很不舒服。我不属于他们。我只是感觉不对。他们不是你。他们永远不会是你。你就是你。我想要的是你：我的坚强的同时又是可爱的内向的小宝贝（我想把你当做我的小宝贝），我的男人，我的伴侣。我想在我身边的是你。你是让我无法从我的思想和心灵中抹去的人，你在这一切事情中伤害了我这么多，但这似乎并不重要。我没法对你生太久的气，亲爱的。
我从未意料到有一天，我会对一个我从没想过自己会对之感兴趣的人有这种感觉。
我知道许多问题是我们前进道路上的绊脚石。我知道你的家人和其他相关的事情。我不是不知道你提到的那100个理由。
然而，为什么这些关于感情的事情都如此难以处理？
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

I wish I could see you once.
I wish I could hug you once.
I wish I could kiss you once.
I wish I could be lying down by your side once. Resting my head on your chest and listening to your heartbeats.
I wish I would be the one to welcome you at the door and hug you tight once you are back from wherever you have been.
I wish we would just sit down on the floor and watch a commedy together, me, paying more attention to your laughs than the funny scenes themselves. I'd love to hear how your laugh sounds, how is your facial expression when you genuinely smile. How I wish I'd dive in into those sweet small eyes which keep so many secrets…
Oh mi amor, how I'd like to experiment you. Fully. Seeing your good side and bad side and being satisfied with the full package. I'm aware you're not perfect. I'm not either. In fact, you're well aware of the side of you which I kind of dislike, but still, you mesmerize me. But still I admire you and see in you the man I wish to love for a lifetime. If you would ever give me that chance.

我希望能见到你一次。
我希望我能拥抱你一次。
我希望我能吻你一次。
我希望我能躺在你身边一次。把头靠在你胸前，倾听你的心跳。
我希望我是那个在门口欢迎你回家的人，当你从其他地方回来的时候，我会紧紧拥抱你。
我希望我们能坐在地板上，一起看一场喜剧，而我注意的是你的笑声，而不是那滑稽的场面。我很想听听你笑的声音，（我也很想看看）当你真诚的微笑时你的面部表情。我多么希望我能潜入那温柔的小眼睛里，那眼睛里藏着那么多秘密。
哦，亲爱的，我真想和你试着在一起。完全地看到你的好的一面和坏的一面，并对完整的你而感到满意。我知道你并不完美。我也不是（完美的人）。事实上，你很清楚我不喜欢你的那一面，但你还是让我着迷。但我仍然敬佩你，从你身上看到了我想爱一辈子的人的模样。如果你能给我这个机会（就太好了）。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

I'll be in the “waiting, not waiting” mode, with the small hope you'll come around at some point.
If you won't. That's fine also. At least, I now know what is to be genuinely in love with someone, even after those “ cheesy feelings” go away, some connection will still remain and they will overcome the ones that I thought love was all about.”
I was about to send him this, but then I decided not, and saved as draft.
If I'll ever have a chance and if this connection will prolong for the next half an year, then, it will surely mean that he had the potentiality to be the man of life. However, signs show that I wouldn't be the woman of his life.
That's okay. It does not hurt so much as before.
And my longing for you does not make me feel miserable, so why is there a reason to want it to stop? Sometimes the best option is just let it be.
And so, I'll let it be.

我一直处在“等待，和不等待”的模式下，带着小小的希望，希望你会在某个时候出现。
如果你不愿意。那也很好。至少，我现在知道了什么是真心地爱一个人，即使那些“做作的感觉”消失了，我们之间的一些联系仍然会存在，它们会战胜那些在我看来认为爱就是一切的人。”
我本来想把这封信寄给他，但后来我决定不寄了，只是把这个留作草稿。
如果我有机会，如果这种联系能持续半年，那么，这就意味着他有潜力成为和共度余生的人。然而，种种迹象表明我不会是他生命中的女人。
没关系。我也不像以前那么心痛了。
我对你的思念并没有让我感到痛苦，那么我为什么要停止（对你的思恋）呢？有时候最好的选择就是顺其自然。
所以，我就顺其自然吧。

Marcus Lundgren
How do I know?
Well, I spent 43 years looking for “the one”. And even though it didn’t take me that long to realize that there wasn’t a mythical creature out there somewhere who could fulfill all my needs and desires, I still hung onto the hope that there might be someone who could make the butterflies in my stomach tickle me whenever I saw her.
And there was.
For two decades, I tried what I could to find someone I could even feel comfortable with. And as an introvert with anxiety problems, this wasn’t easy to do because I’ve never liked to socialize at all. Going to parties or night clubs was never something I enjoyed, and the kind of woman I wanted wasn’t very likely to be found there, anyway.
I didn’t know what or who I wanted. Only what I didn’t want. And unfortunately, I only met women I didn’t want to get involved with.
Not bad people at all. They just didn’t seem right somehow. There was no chemistry.

马库斯隆德格伦
我怎么知道？
嗯，我花了43年的时间寻找“真命天女”。尽管没过多久我就意识到，没有一个神话般的生物能满足我所有的需要和欲望，但我仍然抱着希望，也许有人能让我看到她时，我会感觉有点心慌。
还有一点：
二十年来，我尽我所能想找到一个相处时我可以感到舒服的人。作为一个有焦虑问题的内向者，这并不容易，因为我从来都不喜欢社交。参加聚会或夜总会从来都不是我喜欢的事，而且我想要的那种女人在那里也不太可能找到。
我不知道我想要什么样的另一半，想要谁。我只知道我不想要什么样的。不幸的是，我只遇到了我不喜欢的女人。
（她们）不是坏人。只是有点不太对劲。我们之间没有产生任何化学反应。

From the age of 20, I was actively trying to find someone.
Or that’s to say, I met people at work and at my usual hangouts like the library and the record store where my friend works, but most of the women at work were married already and I felt too awkward to approach women who were reading a book in private. And because I felt awkward, I looked awkward as well, and I’m sure this put a lot of people off the idea of approaching me.
There was no social media at that time. No Facebook and certainly no Tinder.
You could always put a classified ad in the local paper, but I figured that if it was difficult for me to approach someone cold in a public place, it would be even more terrifying to do so with a completely unknown person I hadn’t even seen.
Eventually all the dating sites and apps became available, but by that time, I was kinda set in my ways and didn’t want to use them.

从20岁开始，我就在积极地寻找另一半。
也就是说，我在工作中遇到了一些人，在我朋友工作的图书馆、唱片店等常去的地方也遇到了一些人，但大多数参加工作的女性都已经结婚了，那些独自看书的女性我也觉得很难接近。因为我觉得（这样子贸然搭讪）很尴尬，所以我看起来也很尴尬，我敢肯定这让很多人都不想接近我。
那时还没有社交媒体。没有Facebook，当然也没有Tinder。
你可以在当地报纸上登个分类广告，但我觉得，在公共场合接近一个冷冰冰的人对我来说是困难的，那么和一个完全陌生的人待在一起更可怕。
后来，所有的约会网站和应用程序都可以供我们来使用了，但那时，我已经习惯了自己的方式，不想使用它们。

I was an old-school romantic who’d grown up with people who married and stayed married to their first love. And as naive as that may sound, that’s what was normal to me. That’s the kind of relationship I wanted to find.
Love at first sight. Or at least soon thereafter.
In my 30’s, I’d given up on that idea. I’d become cynical and bitter.
I hadn’t met anyone and I didn’t like to look for someone in the places where people meet. And I especially didn’t like the idea of someone judging my worth from looking at my picture and swiping left or right. Even if someone wanted me, I didn’t want someone who wanted me, purely based on my physical attributes.
It wasn’t until I hit my 40’s that I seriously started to ache for another person’s company. I was afraid that it was too late. That I’d left it too long. That I’d been too much of a coward to seriously make an effort.
Then I found Quora. And by writing here, I suddenly met lots of people who weren’t necessarily looking for relationships, but who nevertheless shared my interests and liked to express their opinions on everything under the sun.
I loved it! I’m not sure why it took so long to discover this site (it would’ve been great to do so much earlier) but once I did, I suddenly had more friends than I’d ever had before in my life. And I felt at home here because people weren’t simply interested in their own status or follower count; many of them were here because they had a lot to say and they wanted to be heard. And to learn from others.
That’s exactly the sort of environment where the woman of my dreams could be lurking. Not that I had any serious faith in that possibility, but I could at least imagine it. It wasn’t out of the question.

我是一个老派的浪漫主义者，想和那些与初恋者结婚并保持婚姻关系的人一起长大。虽然（和初恋结婚）听起来很天真，但这对我来说很正常。这就是我想找到的那种关系：一见钟情或者至少在初次见面之后不久（就喜欢上了对方）。
但在我30多岁的时候，我就放弃了这个想法。我变得愤世嫉俗并且刻薄。
我没有和别人相处过，我也不喜欢在人们平常见面的地方找我的另一半。我尤其不喜欢别人通过看我的照片，然后左右滑动（手机屏幕）来判断我的价值。即使有人想和我在一起，我也不想有人只是基于我的身体情况而喜欢我。
直到我40多岁的时候，我才开始难受。我现在担心已经太晚了。我单身太久了。我是个胆小鬼，不敢认真为爱情而努力。
然后我找到了Quora。通过在这里写作，我突然遇到了很多人，他们不一定要和我建立什么关系，他们只是和我有共同的兴趣，喜欢在阳光下表达他们对一切的看法。
我喜欢它！我不知道为什么花了这么长时间才发现这个网站（如果能早点发现就好了），但自从我发现了这个，我突然有了比以前更多的朋友。我在这里感到家的感觉，因为人们不仅仅对自己的地位或追随者数量感兴趣；他们中的许多人在这里是因为他们有很多话要说，他们想被别人听到。（他们也想）向别人学习。
那正是我梦中的女人可能潜伏的那种环境。并不是说我真的相信这种可能性，但我至少可以想象得到：这不是不可能的。

I contacted people. People contacted me. I established both friendships and relationships.
It was both beautiful and painful at times. Just like life is supposed to be, I guess.
But that elusive woman I dreamed of failed to materialize.
3 years had gone by and I hadn’t found her. I still enjoyed being on Quora, but my cynicism and bitterness had started to return. I became more and more convinced that I either wasn’t fit for relationships, even online, or else Quora might not be the place to look for them.
I was 43. Desperate and needy. Pathetic. Out of options. Depressed beyond belief.
There was no one for me. There couldn’t be. I wasn’t worthy.
And then she found me.

我联系了很多人。人们也和我交流。我建立了许多的友谊关系。
有时既美丽又痛苦。我觉得就像生活一样。
但我梦中的那个难以捉摸的女人还是没有出现。
三年过去了，我没有找到她。我仍然很享受在Quora的生活，但我的愤世嫉俗和痛苦又开始回来了。我越来越确信，要么我不适合谈恋爱，或者说不适合在网上谈恋爱，要么Quora就不适合用来找她。
当时我43岁，绝望又穷困。很可怜。我也别无选择。我十分沮丧。
没有一个人适合我。不可能有（人适合我）。我不配。
然后她找到了我。

She just showed up one day. Out of the blue.
There was no profile picture to look at, but I was immediately intrigued by the way she introduced herself and let me know the reason for why she’d contacted me.
She didn’t beat around the bush. She’d read my answers and could relate to them.
So much so that she’d actually opened a Quora account, just to be able to talk to me.
Being bitter and cynical, I thought she might be a scammer at first.
I’d had to deal with them in the past, and they often appeared out of nowhere, just like her.

有一天她出乎意料般突然出现。
没有她的个人资料图片可以看，但我立刻被她自我介绍的方式所吸引，并让我知道了她联系我的原因。
她没有拐弯抹角。她读过我的一些评论，并能将它们联系起来。
以至于她注册了一个Quora账户，只是为了能和我说话。
我既刻薄又愤世嫉俗，一开始还以为她是个骗子。
在过去，我不得不和他们打交道，他们经常无缘无故地出现，就像她一样。

But she was different. Very intelligent and funny. And she knew what she was talking about. There was no pretense about her. She actually had read my answers with great interest, and the way she spoke about things I’d written, it was if she could see right through me.
Almost from day one, we could finish each other’s sentences.
That had only happened with my best friend back at school, and even then,we could only do that because we sat next to each other every day for 9 years.
With her, it took a couple of days! I was amazed. And also a bit scared.
Who was she? How did she know me so well? How come I never got bored with her like I did with most other people? How was she always able to read my mind and say what I wanted to say and the things I’d never told anyone before?
It felt like I’d found a soul mate. A twin sister.

但她与众不同。非常聪明有趣。她知道自己在说什么。她一点也不做作。她实际上是怀着极大的兴趣读了我的回答，她谈论我写的东西的方式，就好像她能看穿我一样。
几乎从第一天开始，我们就可以读懂对方的话。
这只发生在我和我最好的朋友在学校的时候，即使在那时我们之所以能这样做，是因为我们9年来每天都坐在一起。
但和她在一起，仅仅只花了几天时间！我很惊讶。也有点害怕。
她是谁？她怎么这么了解我？为什么我从来没有像对待大多数人那样对她感到厌烦？她怎么总能读懂我的心思，说出我想说的话和我以前从未告诉任何人的事？
感觉我找到了灵魂伴侣。（就像我的）双胞胎妹妹。

We started talking. All the time. And after several months, we’re still talking. All the time. And I still can’t get enough of her.
As an introvert, my instinct has always been to withdraw. I don’t like having other people around. They drain my energy, just by being there.
I prefer to hang out in my own little bubble where I can do what I want, whenever I want, without others telling me off for doing so or forcing me to pretend to enjoy their company.
But with her, I felt energized and full of hope whenever we spoke.
Seven years of therapy and too many antidepressants can't compare to what she did for me.
And even more impressive, she made me laugh!
For years and years, friends would complain about how stiff and boring I was for not laughing at their jokes, and I always felt embarrassed about that because I wanted to laugh. I just didn’t think they were funny.
But she was. She was a master of surprising me with plot twists and punchlines I could never see coming, and I fucking loved it!

我们开始经常交谈。几个月后，我们还在经常聊天。但我还是不满足。
作为一个内向的人，我的本能就是总是退缩。我不喜欢有别人在身边。（我觉得）他们在那里会消耗我的精力。
我更喜欢呆在自己的小泡泡里，在那里我可以做我想做的事，无论什么时候，从而不让别人因为我这样做而责怪我，也没法强迫我假装喜欢他们的陪伴。
但和她在一起，每当我们交谈时，我都感到充满活力和希望。
7年的治疗加上太多的抗抑郁药，都比不上她对我的帮助。
更让人印象深刻的是，她让我笑了！
一年又一年，朋友们都会抱怨他们讲笑话时我都不会笑，他们抱怨我是多么的呆板和无聊，我总是为此感到尴尬。因为我想笑，但我只是觉得他们讲的不好笑。
但她擅长用我永远都想不到的情节转折和妙语给我讲故事，我爱死她了！

That’s what I was looking for. A woman who thought like me and could relate to me.
I tried for a long time to fit in and be like others, but that didn’t work.
If “the one” existed at all, she’d have to be like me: Insecure, patient, empathetic, intelligent, opinionated, funny and a bit naughty, etc.
And she was all of that and so much more.
But apart from being very similar people, what really tipped the scales for me; what truly made me know that I’d been found by “the one” was a few very important things.
She showed me her artwork. She’s a brilliant artist who paints some of the most impressive stuff I’ve ever seen. And she’s also humble about it and would probably hate it if I praised her too much. But I’m very picky with the art I like, and her work impresses me. I’m very proud of her.
As a musician, I always hoped I’d find a woman who was artistic and creative.

这就是我要找的：一个像我一样思考并且能和我相处的女人。
我试了很长一段时间来适应其他人，但没有成功。
如果“真命天女”真的存在的话，她一定会像我一样：没有安全感，有耐心，有同情心，聪明，固执己见，有趣，还有点调皮，等等。
她符合这一切，还不止这些。
但除了（她们是）非常相似的人之外，真正影响我的是，让我知道我被“梦中情人”找到了的是一些非常重要的东西。
她给我看了她的作品。她是一位才华横溢的艺术家，画了一些我见过的最令人印象深刻的东西。而且她对此也很谦虚，如果我表扬她太多，她可能会有些讨厌。但我对自己喜欢的艺术非常挑剔，她的作品给我留下了深刻的印象。我为她感到骄傲。
作为一个音乐家，我一直希望能找到一个有艺术性和创造力的女人。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

She accepted me the way I am, because she’s the same. I didn’t think that could be possible, but no matter how much I tried to “test” her with questions and suspicions, she instantly blew away any such notions by being absolutely real and straightforward with me. And I respect that.
I could be vulnerable with her. When we met, I hadn’t truly cried for over 20 years. I held it all inside and bottled it up. But I found that by being kind and understanding, even when I was behaving like a complete shit, she brought the tears out of me. I couldn’t stop it from happening.
Her words were therapeutic and comforting, and I wept like a baby.
I haven’t told her this, but it was a cathartic experience for me.
My therapists always had a box of tissues if I needed them, but I never did.
Letting someone else see me crying would be the ultimate loss of face, I thought. But with her, it just happened naturally.
I cried. She cried. We cried together. And it was lovely.

因为她和我一样，所以她接受了我现在的样子。虽然我认为这是不可能的，但无论我如何试图用问题和怀疑来“测试”她，她都会立刻把任何这样的想法吹走，她对我绝对真实和直截了当。我尊重这一点。
我和她在一起会很脆弱。当我们相遇时，我已经20多年没有真正哭过了。我把眼泪都放在心里面，然后把它装起来。但我发现，由于（她的）善良和理解，即使当我的表现很差，她也能让我流泪。我无法阻止它的发生。
她的话对我来说是治疗和安慰，我哭得像个婴儿。
我没有告诉她，但这对我来说是一次宣泄的经历。
如果我需要的话，我的治疗师总是有一盒纸巾（留给我用），但我从来没有哭过。
我想，让别人看到我哭，那很丢脸。但在她这里来说，这是自然而然发生的。
我哭了。她哭了。我们一起哭了。这很可爱。

I like her courage. She claims to be no braver than me, but she was the one who found me and approached me. She took all the difficult steps.
And I think that’s so fucking cool that she would do that when society so often tells us that it’s the man’s job to woo the woman.
I wish more women would approach first. It’s great. Especially for cowards like me.
I like to talk. A lot. It’s not easy for me to find people who can keep up with me, but when I like someone, I like to talk with them. And most of them give up on me or get bored.
She doesn’t. Or if she does, she’s kind enough to not openly let it bother her.
I used to be concerned about that at first because I was afraid that she’d leave me like the others did when I wanted too much of their time, but she can talk as much as I do. About the same things I like to talk about.

我喜欢她的勇气。她自称并不比我勇敢，但她是找到我并接近我的人。她走完了所有困难的步骤。
我觉得这太酷了，当社会经常告诉我们追求女人是男人的职责时，她不会这么想。
我希望有更多的女人主动，这太棒了。尤其对于像我这样的胆小鬼来说。
我喜欢说话。说很多很多话。对我来说，找到能跟上我的人并不容易，但当我喜欢一个人时，我喜欢和他们交谈。但是他们中的大多数人要么放弃了我要么就厌倦了。
而她没有。或者说如果她真的这么做了，她也不会让这件事困扰她。
一开始我很担心这个，因为我想占用他们太多的时间，所以我害怕她会像其他人一样离开我，但她和我一样喜欢说很多话，和我想说的一样。

And if I can’t think of anything to say, then she takes over and we continue.
I could go on, but let’s just say that I know she’s “the one”.
She’s the first woman I’ve been interested in that I didn’t awkwardly pursue or desperately tried to keep.
She’s with me because she wants to be, and I feel exactly the same way about her.
I have something to look forward to now. Every day she makes me smile.
She’s put a smile on the most hardened cynic in the world.
And for that, I love her.

如果我想不出什么好说的话，她就会把话题接过来，然后我们继续聊天。
我还可以继续说下去，我知道她就是我的“真命天女”。
她是第一个我感兴趣的女人，我没有笨拙地追求或拼命地想留住她。
她和我在一起是因为她想和我在一起，我对她也有同样的感觉。
我现在开始有盼头了。每天她都能让我微笑。
她对世界上最顽固的愤世嫉俗者露出了微笑。
所以，我爱她。