令人毛骨悚然的心理把戏（二）
Can you tell me a creepy psychological trick?
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网友：警告: 以下帖子可能会大大提升你在美女眼中的价值，谨慎使用 ！如果你想让一个女孩觉得难为情，告诉她，她穿的衣服不是最好的选择。如果你想让一个女孩在某个场所注意到你，那就和另一个女孩在一起，或者和一群女孩在一起......
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令人毛骨悚然的心理把戏（二）
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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WARNING: The Following Post May Very Well Improve Your Value In the Eyes of Pretty Women. Use at Your Own Caution!
If you want to make a girl self-conscious, tell her that what ever she is wearing isn’t the best choice of clothes.
If you want girls to notice you in a venue, be with another girl or surround yourself with a group of girls.
If you want to talk to a girl but feel shy, have a female friend of yours (or hers) introduce you to her.
If you want to see if a girl is approachable, catch her gaze and stick your tongue out or wave. Gauge her response, if it’s positive you can go in, if not you will know without getting “rejected”
If you want a girl to call you, GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. Don’t take hers or exchange.
Finally, when you talk to a girl and you introduce yourself and she tells you her name, tell her, “You don’t look like a __________ (her name), you look like a __________ (made up girl name), I’m going to call you ______________ (made up girl name).
警告: 以下帖子可能会大大提升你在美女眼中的价值，谨慎使用 ！
如果你想让一个女孩觉得难为情，告诉她，她穿的衣服不是最好的选择。
如果你想让一个女孩在某个场所注意到你，那就和另一个女孩在一起，或者和一群女孩在一起。
如果你想和一个女孩说话但又觉得害羞，让你 (或她) 的一个女性朋友把你介绍给她。
如果你想知道一个女孩是否容易接近，抓住她的目光，伸出你的舌头或者挥手，评估她的反应，如果是积极的，你可以进一步接近她，如果是消极的，你就会知道，而不会被 "拒绝"。
如果你想让一个女孩给你打电话，把你的电话号码给她，但不要拿她的好骂或与她交换号码。
最后，当你和一个女孩聊天，你自我介绍时，她告诉你她的名字，告诉她："你不像__________(她的名字)，你像__________(编造的女孩名字)，我要叫你______________(编造的女孩名字)。
When meeting up for a date establish physical contact immediately by hugging or guiding her into your car.
When you shake a girls hand, hold it for an extra 3 seconds, if she lets you and doesn’t pull back, she is attracted.
When you shake a girls hand, spin her around then you spin the other way, while holding her hand and you should end up with your hand around her shoulder like buddy buddy.
When you shake a girls hand, flip your her hand over and kiss your own hand.
When you high-five a girl, interlock fingers, if she lets you she is attracted.
Before approaching a girl or going on a date, visualize your desired outcome. Things we visualize tend to happen when we take action on them.
如果你想亲吻一个女孩，问她是否想亲吻你，如果她的反应很好，那就这么做，如果不愿意，告诉她你没说她可以。
还有，当从左到右看她的眼睛，然后看她的嘴，然后再看回来，如果她看你的嘴唇，她想吻你。
约会时，通过拥抱或引导她进入你的车，可以迅速建立身体接触。
你和一个女孩握手的时候，多握3秒钟，如果她让你握住而不往后拉，她就被吸引了。
你和一个女孩握手的时候，把她转过来，然后你转到另一个方向，同时握住她的手，最后你应该像哥们儿一样，用手搂住她的肩膀。
你和一个女孩握手的时候，把她的手翻过来亲吻你自己的手。
你和一个女孩击掌时，十指交叉，如果她让你这么做，她就被你吸引了。
在接近女孩或约会之前，想象一下你想要的结果，当我们采取行动时，我们想象的事情往往会发生。
If you’re in someone’s view, but they aren’t looking at you, start copying their movements. After a few minutes, you can then initiate movements and they’ll copy you. Cross or uncross legs, play with hair, etc.
If you’re getting the sense that someone cross the room is makin’ eyes at you, go ahead and yawn. If they yawn back, you know who they’ve been looking at.
If you have customers coming up to your counter, putting a mirror behind you will give them a chance to see themselves — to really see themselves — before they act like Karen-like (i.e. yelling at you for things that aren’t your fault).
Whatever your friend has just said, paraphrase it and say it again. The person who talks to you will subconsciously get the feeling you are a really great listener. Just don’t go too far with the paraphrasing thing.
When meeting someone new, when you first make eye contact, quickly raise your eyebrows and let your face fall back to a relaxed smile. It kicks their subconscious into the idea that they already know you and can trust you. It takes a bit of practice though, as timing is the difference between genuine and creepy body language.
Smile when you walk around the office/yard/whatever. People either think you are some kind of maniac and leave you alone (good) or they smile back and make your day.
如果你在某人的视野中，但他们没有看你，就开始模仿他们的动作，几分钟后，你就可以主动做动作，他们也会模仿你，比如交叉或不交叉腿，玩弄头发等。
如果你感觉到对面有人盯着你，就打哈欠，如果他们也打哈欠，你就知道他们在看谁了。
如果有顾客走到你的柜台，在他们表现得很“凯伦”一样之前（ 即为不是你的错的事情对你大喊大叫 ），在你身后放一面镜子，可以让他们有机会看清自己——真正看清自己。
无论你的朋友刚才说了什么，都要转述一遍，再说一遍，跟你说话的人会下意识地觉得你是一个非常好的倾听者，只是转述的事情不要太过。
遇到新认识的人，当你们第一次进行眼神交流时，要迅速地扬起眉毛，让自己的脸落回轻松的笑容，这能让他们的潜意识里判断自己已经认识你，可以信任你—— 不过这需要一点练习，因为时机的把握是真实身体语言和变态身体语言之间的关键所在。
当你在办公室/院子/什么地方走来走去时，要微笑，人们要么认为你是某种疯子，然后离开你（很好），要么他们回以微笑，让你一天好心情。
How to get along with each other in order to make each other feel comfortable.
First: love someone like you don't love him
This is something 90% of couples don't realize so far.
Each other has its own independent space. I won't occupy it, and you won't set foot in it. When both sides are free, enjoy the time of two people together.
As a friend, you will change from asking for him to understanding him, from obtaining satisfaction to enjoying happiness.
It's easy to do: only give 20% of your hormonal passion and keep 80% of your apathy
如何与他人相处以使彼此感到舒适。
第一：
爱一个人就要像不爱他一样。
这是90%的夫妻至今没有意识到的。
彼此都有自己独立的空间，我不会占据它，你也不会踏入，当双方都有空的时候，享受两个人在一起的时光。
化身为一个朋友，你会从索取他转变为理解他，从获得满足转变为享受幸福。
这一点要做起来其实很简单：只付出20%的荷尔蒙激情，保留80%的冷漠。
The more you want to have a love relationship easily, the more you pull yourself out. It's enough to give 20% hormone passion. When you are together, you can show your loveliness, gentleness and sexiness. You can watch a movie in the sofa, cook a meal together, play a favorite music, and drink a little drunk. You can get rid of the serious pressure from the outside world and join in this relationship Close relationship.
However, he will not believe his promises and love words. Just listen to them as praises, just like praising you for your good looks today. It's good to meet the present pleasant mood.
In this way, you can show your charm and not let yourself be bound.
Here is a simple formula for you ：High quality charm = I enjoy your time + release my love for you + not be blinded by your words.
2. Talk about "keep 80% of the apathy".
You should learn to keep yourself in a calm period of love when you are working and studying. When you are not together, focus your energy on what you are doing now.
A good relationship is not that you stick to him all the time, but that you can leave enough time for each other to grow into better people.
1. 我们来谈谈 "只付出20%的荷尔蒙激情"
越是想轻易拥有一段爱情关系，就越要把自己拉出来，只要付出20%的荷尔蒙激情就够了。
在一起的时候，你可以表现出你的可爱、温柔和性感，你们可以在沙发上看一场电影，一起做一顿饭，放一首喜欢的音乐，喝个小酒，你可以摆脱来自外界的严重压力，加入到这种亲密关系中来。
但是，他不会相信自己的承诺和情话，就当是赞美吧，就像今天夸你长得漂亮一样，满足现在愉快的心情就好。
这样，你才能展示你的魅力而不被束缚。
这里有一个简单的公式 ：
高品质的魅力= 我享受你的时间+释放对你的爱+不被你的语言蒙蔽。
2. 现在我们说说 "保持80%的冷漠"
在工作、学习的时候，你要学会让自己处于爱情的冷静期，当你们不在一起的时候，要把精力集中在你们现在的工作上。
一段好的感情不是你一直粘着他，而是你能给对方留出足够的时间，让他成长为更好的人。
The tighter the string of love is, the faster it breaks.
We should know that it is not the duty of lovers to please each other. You are not at work. This is not your task.
If you still can't control to cater to accommodation, you can try these two methods:
第二：
我们没有义务一直让对方舒服。
爱的弦绷越紧，断得越快。
我们应该知道，取悦对方不是恋人的义务，你不是在工作，这不是你的任务。
如果你还是无法控制去迎合迁就对方，你可以试试这两个方法：
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
The more aggrieved you are, the lower your value in this relationship will be. On the contrary, his value will be raised by you. There is a value transfer in the relationship.
When you make him feel that his value is more than the emotional cooperation with you, he will start to look for new partners.
So, hold on to your original value in this relationship, and solve everything with a consultative attitude, rather than pandering to it.
1. 清楚地告诉自己" 爱只是一种平等的合作 "
你越是委屈求全，你在这段关系中的价值就会越低，相反，他的价值会被你提升，在这段关系中，有一个价值的转移。
当你让他觉得自己的价值比和你的情感合作更重要的时候，他就会开始寻找新的伴侣。
所以，在这段关系中，要坚持自己原有的价值，用商量的态度解决一切问题，而不是一味的迎合。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
You know, 80 percent of couples, they're not ideal for each other. When you are criticizing each other, you should always look down to see if you have become your standard.
I like you not because you are excellent, but because I like you, I think you are excellent.
2. 事实上，我们彼此都不是对方的理想型
你知道，百分之八十的夫妻，他们并不适合彼此，当你在批评对方的时候，你应该永远低头看看自己是否已经达到了自己的标准。
我喜欢你不是因为你很优秀，而是因为我喜欢你，我觉得你很优秀。
Boys and girls have different ways of thinking, but many people don't care. They still like to guess each other in their own way.
After an argument breaks out, we only pay attention to our emotions and situations, and refute the other party's explanation. From the bottom of our heart, we feel that we are right.
The more like this, the easier it is to push the other party away. Everyone likes to be understood. How can we understand each other fundamentally?
1. Cross the barriers of thinking and embrace each other
2. Turn should into expectation
What you need is to make your heart's expectations understandable through language.
第三：站在恋人的立场上看问题。
男生和女生的思维方式不同，但很多人浑然无觉，他们仍然喜欢用自己的方式来猜测对方。
争论爆发后，我们只注意自己的情绪和情况，并反驳对方的解释，从心底里，我们都觉得自己是对的。
越是这样，越容易把对方推开，每个人都喜欢被理解，如何才能从根本上理解对方呢？
1. 跨越思维障碍，拥抱对方
2. 把应该变成期望
你需要的是通过话语让人明白你内心的期待。
1. Read each other's Subtext
If you give him a gift that you are very satisfied with, and he takes it, but he is not very happy, you keep asking him whether he likes it or not, and he says that the gift is very good and he doesn't like it or not, you should know that he doesn't like it. Everyone has their own rights to like and dislike, and there is no need to force changes to cater to you.
2.Don't pry into his life too much
Respect yourself and respect him.
第四：不要总认为自己的爱是对的
1. 读懂对方的潜台词
如果你送他一件你很满意的礼物，他收下了，但是他不是很满意，你一直问他喜不喜欢，他说礼物很好，事实上他不喜欢，你应该知道他不喜欢，每个人都有自己喜欢和不喜欢的权利，没有必要为了迎合你而强行改变。
2. 不要过多的窥探他的生活
尊重自己，也尊重他。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Ever felt the compulsion or want to behave or act, when you’re anonymous, in a way you wouldn’t usually do socially?
Most of us, while being unnoticed, are guilty of doing things we wouldn’t be too proud of telling. Such behaviour may be described as a mild version of what is to follow.
This is a pretty common psychological state called deindividuation. It exists in every human being and we all have experienced it to some degree and can relate to it. It usually involves the loss of self-awareness in a group while you’re identity is hidden. To give an example, in an online anonymous chat you’re deindividuated; so is everyone else in the chat.
Research has shown that people while being deindividuated can engage in various antisocial acts. In a state of deindividuation, people are more likely to induce abhorrent behaviours and can potentially hurt, cheat, lie, harm or even kill in the extreme case scenario.
当你匿名的时候，你有没有感觉到一种强迫性的或者想要表现或者行动的冲动，一种你通常不会在社交场合表现出来的冲动？
我们中的大多数人，虽然没有被注意到，却会因为做一些我们不会引以为傲的事情而感到内疚，这种行为可以被描述为接下来要发生的事情的温和版本。
这是一种非常普遍的心理状态，叫做“去个体化”，它存在于每一个人身上，我们都在某种程度上经历过，并且能够与之相联系。
它通常包括当你的身份被隐藏的时候，你在一个群体中失去了自我意识。
举个例子，在一个在线匿名聊天室内，你被去个性化了，聊天中的其他人也是如此。
研究表明，人们在去个性化过程中可能会做出各种反社会行为，在去个体化的状态下，人们更容易诱发可恶的行为，在极端的情况下，可能会伤害、欺骗、撒谎、伤害甚至杀人。
Executioners often wear masks; the nastiest comments on a thread, article or a post are often from anonymous or fake IDs.
All these examples present an evolutionary perspective to the social psychology of deindividuation. People have been exposed to the evil effects of deindividuation across most of the human evolutionary history. As a result, we naturally get spooked when we see someone in a deindividuated state. Take the example of a clown, or a person wearing a mask. You would freak out if you found yourself alone with them!
Pretty creepy if you deeply think about it.
“去个体化”历史上一直被用作战争活动中的一种工具，士兵们被要求穿戴各种战斗装备，这些装备覆盖了他们的身体和面部，如果士兵的个性被剥夺，他们就不会那么不情愿去夺走敌人士兵的生命。
刽子手经常戴面具，一篇文章，一个帖子最恶心的评论通常来自匿名或伪造的 ID。
所有这些例子都从进化的角度呈现了去个性化的社会心理，在人类进化史的大部分时间里，人类已经暴露在去个体化的邪恶影响之下。
因此，当我们看到某人处于去个性化状态时，自然会感到惊恐。
以小丑为例，或者一个戴着面具的人，如果你发现自己和他们单独在一起，你会吓坏的 ！
如果你仔细想想，会觉得非常恐怖，令人毛骨悚然。
Thank you, Aishah Hannan, for A2A
The only trick that comes to my mind is intermittent reinforcement.
But, what makes this psychological trick creepy? It’s power.
The experiment
In 1974, Stephen Kendall conducted experiments to see in what conditions a pigeon may peck at a higher rate.
Imagine a pigeon in a cage, with a bar it can peck on to get a pellet of food.
The food is a reward or reinforcement for its pecking.
The results were:
1. When the pigeon never got food as a reinforcement, it stopped pecking the bar altogether. No surprise!
2. When the pigeon got the food reinforcement every time it pecked the bar, it only pecked the bar a moderate number of times.
3. When the pigeon got the food reward for pecking the bar, (and sometimes it got no reward for pecking), it pecked the bar like crazy.
我唯一能想到的就是“间歇性强化”。
但是，是什么让这种心理把戏令人毛骨悚然呢？它的威力。
一个实验：
1974年，斯蒂芬 · 肯德尔进行了一次实验，观察鸽子在什么情况下会啄食得更快。
想象一下，一只关在笼子里的鸽子，它可以在笼子里啄一根棒子来获得一粒食物。
食物是它啄食的奖励或强化。
研究结果如下：
1. 当鸽子没有得到食物作为强化物时，它就完全停止啄食了！
2. 当鸽子每次啄棒时都得到食物奖励时，它只是中等次数地啄棒。
3. 当鸽子因为啄巧克力棒而得到食物奖励时 (有时它啄巧克力棒也得不到奖励) ，它会疯狂地啄巧克力棒。
When we get reinforcement from someone (attention, love, money), we begin to take for granted that person a little.
Just like in the second case, when pigeon pecked the bar moderately, we also respond moderately well to someone who treats us well.
This reveals an important facet of human behaviour:
People take for granted what they know they can have.
In the third case, the pigeon never knew if it could have the pellets of food.
And this reveals a shocking fact about human behaviour:
People want what they feel they could not have.
This desire causes people to want products they can’t afford. And pursue a woman/men they can’t have.
鸽子的行为和人类非常相似。
当我们从某个人那里得到强化（关注、爱、金钱）时，我们开始有点想当然地认为那个人的举动是理所当然的。
就像在第二个案例中，当鸽子适度地啄食棒子时，我们也会对一个对我们好的人做出适度的反应。
这揭示了人类行为的一个重要方面：
人们认为他们可以拥有的东西是理所当然的。
在第三个案例中，鸽子从来都不知道自己能不能吃到食物。
而这揭示了人类行为的一个令人震惊的事实：
人们希望得到他们觉得自己不能拥有的东西。
这种欲望导致人们想要他们买不起的产品，并追求他们无法拥有的女人/男人。
The reason why people get addicted to gambling is that they never know when they’re going to win.
And I know how it works because I was once addicted to soccer betting. Luckily, I was too scared of my father to play more than $2.
I place a bet almost every day. But luck isn’t on my side.
It’s unclear if I will win. This isn’t fun anymore.
Now I’m just playing to recover the money I lost.
Finally, I could win one time. The dopamine flows in my brain. Damn it feels so good to be a winner.
Should I quit and go home?
Heck, no. I might win more...
赌博
人们之所以会沉迷于赌博，是因为他们永远不知道自己什么时候会赢。
我知道这是怎么回事，因为我曾经沉迷于足球博彩，幸运的是，我太害怕我的父亲，不敢玩超过2美元的游戏。
我几乎每天都下注，但运气不在我这边。
我不知道我会不会赢，这一点都不好玩。
我只是想把我输掉的钱赢回来。
终于，我可以赢一次了，多巴胺在我的大脑中流动，MD，成为赢家的感觉真好。
我是不是应该退出，不玩了？
见鬼，不，我可能会赢更多.........
Psychology experts consider intermittent reinforcement one of the most powerful motivators.
That’s why it’s often used to manipulate others.
How does it work?
You give positive reinforcement (attention, praise, appreciation, love) randomly to someone.
When “the reward” is given, the dopamine and other feel-good chemicals flow into their brain.
But when you become cold, it creates a climate of doubt, fear and anxiety. And it complies him/her to persistently seek the acts of positive reinforcement from you.
If you are a victim of this trick, you will sense the manipulator is withdrawing.
He/she isn’t giving you attention like they used to, and you become anxious if there’s something wrong with you.
When you ask them if there’s something wrong, they’ll deny it.
Eventually, he/she will repeat the cycle once again.
The manipulator does this on purpose to increase her power over you, and to make you desperate for their love, attention or approval.
人与人之间的互动
心理学专家认为间歇性强化是最强大的激励手段之一。
这就是为什么它经常被用来操纵他人。
它是如何运作的呢？
你随机给某人以积极的强化（关注、表扬、赞赏、爱）。
当 "奖励 "被给予时，多巴胺和其他感觉良好的化学物质就会流入他们的大脑。
但当你变得冷淡时，就会造成一种怀疑、恐惧和焦虑的气氛，而它会蛊惑他（她）坚持不懈地寻求你的积极强化行为。
如果你是这个把戏的受害者，你会感觉到操纵者正在撤退。
他/她不像以前那样给你关注，是不是你有什么问题，你就会变得很焦虑。
当你问他们是否有问题时，他们会否认。
最后，他/她会再次重复这个循环。
操纵者故意这样做是为了增加他/她对你的控制力，让你迫切地想要得到他们的爱、关注或认可。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Memory Manipulation
The 1995 study of Loftus and Pickrell showed that you can cause a person to “remember” false memories by showing them “evidence” and getting a trusted few (parents etc) to join in on the lie
How to Pick Your Friend’s Favourite Word
Pick out a word the person you’re talking with says e.g, “Wapow!” and remain silent (while he’s talking) throughout the conversation until the person says that word, then give some sort out of positive affirmation (a nod, “mmhmm” etc). Don’t be surprised if his new favourite word when speaking with you is a comical sound effect
# 记忆操纵
1995年洛夫特斯和皮克雷尔的研究表明，你可以通过向一个人展示 "证据"，并让少数值得信赖的人（父母等）加入到谎言的行列中来，使他们 "记住 "虚假的记忆。
# 如何挑选你朋友“最喜欢”的词？
选出一个与你交谈的人说的词，如："Wapow！"在整个谈话过程中保持沉默（在他说话的时候），直到他说出那个词，然后给予某种出积极的肯定（点头、"嗯嗯 "等）——如果他在和你说话时最喜欢的新词是有着滑稽的声音效果，请不要感到惊讶。
Looks like I have three secret admirers… wait are they laughing at me?
When in a group, tell a joke that you know will cause a ripple of laughter. Now notice who each person turns to. The person they turn to is the one they feel the closest to or wants to be close to. Spot on detective! You’ve just discovered the hidden office romances
“Wait, when did you give me this?”
“He’s gonna freak once he realises what I passed him!”
If you hand someone an obxt while they’re talking on the phone, 90% of the time they’ll take it, no questions asked
# 浪漫侦探
看来我有三个秘密仰慕者......等等，他们是在嘲笑我吗？
在一群人中，讲一个你知道会引起一阵笑声的笑话，现在，注意每个人转向谁，他们转向的人是他们感觉最亲近或者想要亲近的人。很好，侦探先生！你刚刚发现了隐藏的办公室恋情
# “等等，你什么时候给我这个的?”
"他一旦发现我递给他的东西，一定会吓坏的！"
如果你在别人打电话的时候递给他一件东西，90% 的情况下他都会接着，不会问任何问题。
Why do you think the Nazis committed atrocities on a mass scale? The Nuremberg trials revealed that many Nazi war criminals tried said they were “just following orders from their superiors”. Being in a position of authority gives you great power. Your subordinates might not even go against you if you suggest something extreme e.g, Administering a 450V shock to a person (can be very dangerous, depending on the circumstances). Not an exaggeration - this was an example used in psychologist Stanley Milgram’s 1963 study. As high as 75% of the participants administered 300V or higher to another person just because the experimenter told them to proceed with the experiment even after they hesitated, alongside the person being shocked screaming in pain. Sure, Milgram revealed that the shocks weren’t real afterwards but what if they were? The participants were like you and me by the way - with a conscience and morals
# 你可能和纳粹有一点相似之处
你认为纳粹为什么会大规模地犯下暴行？
纽伦堡审判显示，许多受审的纳粹战犯说他们“只是遵从他们上级的命令”。
处于权威的地位会给你巨大的权力，如果你提出一些极端的建议，你的下属甚至可能不会反对你。
例如，对一个人进行450V 的电击 ( 根据具体情况，可能会非常危险 )——毫不夸张，这是心理学家斯坦利 · 米尔格拉姆1963年的一个研究案例，高达75%的参与者对另一个人施以300V或更高的电压，只是因为实验者告诉他们要继续实验，即使他们有所犹豫，即使旁边被电击的人痛苦地尖叫——当然，米尔格拉姆事后透露，这些电击并不是真实的，但如果是真实的呢？
顺便说一下，参与者和你我一样—— 都有良心和道德。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处