When I was growing up in Chicago during the Cold War, my parents taught me to revere my Lithuanian heritage. We sang Lithuanian songs and recited Lithuanian poems; after Lithuanian school on Saturdays, I would eat Lithuanian-style potato pancakes.

冷战期间我在美国芝加哥长大，父母教导我要尊敬我的立陶宛文化传统。我们唱立陶宛歌曲，朗诵立陶宛诗歌；周六，立陶宛语言学校放学后，我会吃立陶宛风格的土豆煎饼。

My grandfather, Jonas Noreika, was a particularly important part of my family story: He was the mastermind of a 1945-1946 revolt against the Soviet unx, and was executed. A picture of him in his military uniform hung in our living room. Today, he is a hero not just in my family. He has streets, plaques and a school named after him. He was awarded the Cross of the Vytis, Lithuania’s highest posthumous honor.

我的外祖父乔纳斯·诺雷卡是我家族故事中一个特别重要的人：他是1945年至1946年反苏起义的策划者，后来被处决。他穿着军装的照片挂在我们的客厅里。现在，他不仅是我家的英雄。有一条街道和一所学校也以他的名字命名。他被追授立陶宛最高的荣誉维蒂斯十字架勋章。

On her deathbed in 2000, my mother asked me to take over writing a book about her father. I eagerly agreed. But as I sifted through the material, I came across a document with his signature from 1941 and everything changed. The story of my grandfather was much darker than I had known.

2000年，母亲临终时要我接手为外祖父写传记的任务。我热切地同意了。但是，当我翻阅资料的时候，我偶然发现了一份1941年的他签了名的文件，从此，一切都变了。我外祖父的故事比我所知道的要黑暗得多。

I learned that the man I had believed was a savior who did all he could to rescue Jews during World War II had, in reality, ordered all Jews in his region of Lithuania to be rounded up and sent to a ghetto where they were beaten, starved, tortured, raped and then murdered. More than 95 percent of Lithuania’s Jews died during World War II, many of them killed with the eager collaboration of their neighbors.

我所相信的那个在二战期间竭尽全力营救犹太人的救世主外祖父，实际上下令围捕了立陶宛他所在地区的所有犹太人，将他们送进一个犹太聚居区，在那里，他们遭受殴打、饥饿、折磨、强奸然后被杀害。立陶宛超过95%的犹太人在二战中丧生，许多人是在邻居的积极配合下被杀的。

Suddenly, I no longer had any idea who my grandfather was, what Lithuania was, and how my own story fit in. How could I reconcile two realities? Was Jonas Noreika a monster who slaughtered thousands of Jews or a hero who fought to save his country from the Communists?

突然间，我的外祖父和立陶宛，在我的眼里变得十分陌生，我心中的外祖父形象崩塌了，它分裂成了两个现实。我的外祖父到底是屠杀了成千上万犹太人的恶魔，还是为从苏联手中拯救国家的英雄？

I concluded that my grandfather was a man of paradoxes, just as Lithuania — a country caught between the Nazi and Communist occupations during World War II, then trapped behind the Iron Curtain for the next 50 years — is full of contradictions.

我得出的结论是，我的外祖父是一个充满了矛盾的人，就像立陶宛一样——二战期间被纳粹和苏联争夺占领，后来在铁幕政治下被困了50年。

During this time, there was a deep freeze on the truth: Lithuanians were only allowed to talk about how many Soviet citizens were killed during World War II. References to Jewish victims were scrubbed away by the occupiers. I would like to think that if Lithuania had been a free and independent nation after World War II, it might have acknowledged its own role in the Holocaust.

在此期间，事实的真相被牢牢冻结：立陶宛人只被允许谈论二战期间被杀害的苏联公民。立陶宛人对犹太人的伤害，则被占领者抹去了。我认为，假如立陶宛在二战后成为了一个自由独立的国家，它可能会承认它在纳粹大屠杀中扮演的角色。

Correcting historical memory turned out to be dangerous. When I publicly questioned the official story of my grandfather’s life, I was vilified by the Lithuanian community in Chicago and in Lithuania. I was called an agent of President Vladimir Putin of Russia. Lithuanian leaders still believe their country’s identity depends on holding onto its heroes, even at the cost of the truth.

纠正历史记忆原来是有危险的。当我公开质疑外祖父生平的官方故事时，我在芝加哥的立陶宛社区遭到了中伤。我被称为是俄罗斯总统普京的特工。立陶宛领导人仍然相信，他们国家的身份认同靠的是一位被塑造的英雄，就算牺牲事实真相也在所不惜。

In 1933, as a young soldier in the Lithuanian Army, he wrote “Raise Your Head Lithuanian,” Lithuania’s equivalent of “Mein Kampf,” which incited hate toward Jews as a solution to Lithuania’s problems. In June 1941, he led an uprising against the Soviets, even as he was collaborating with the Nazis. In July, he ordered the murder of all of the 2,000 Jews in Plunge, the town from which he led the uprising. In August, the Germans welcomed him as the new district chief of the Siauliai region, and the same month he signed orders to send thousands of Jews to their eventual deaths. Under his watch, roughly 8,000 Jews were killed.

1933年，我的外祖父是立陶宛军队的一名年轻士兵，写了《立陶宛人抬起头来》——相当于立陶宛的《我的奋斗》——煽动对犹太人的仇恨，以此作为解决立陶宛社会矛盾的方法。1941年6月，他与纳粹合作并领导了对苏联的起义。7月，他下令杀害起义所在的普朗日镇的全部2000名犹太人。8月，德国人赞同由他来担任希奥利艾地区的区长，同月，他签署了命令，将数千名犹太人送上黄泉。在他任内大约有8000名犹太人被杀。

In the version of history that is now celebrated by Lithuanians, my grandfather and others like him were forced to sign those documents by the Germans. But when I dug deeper, I learned that becoming district chief brought him the best house in the region, about 1,000 reichsmarks each month and a job for my grandmother. That sounded to me more like temptation than coercion.

在立陶宛人现在传颂的历史版本中，我的外祖父和其他像他一样的人，被德国人强迫签署了这些文件。但是当我更深入地挖掘信息时，我了解到担任区长让他住上了该地区最好的房子，每月有1000马克薪俸，并且我的外祖母也有了一份工作。在我看来，这更像是诱惑而不是胁迫。

He did stand up to the Nazis, not by saving Jews but by trying to stymie recruitment for the SS. In March 1943, he was sent to a Nazi concentration camp. He was released in January 1945, then conscxted by the Red Army. Later that year, he began organizing the revolt against the Soviets, who had turned from Lithuania’s liberators to its occupiers. The Soviets captured him the next March. He was executed in February 1947 at the age of 36.

但他也确实反抗过纳粹，但不是通过拯救犹太人，而是阻挠党卫军在立陶宛的征兵。1943年3月，他被送进纳粹集中营。他于1945年1月获释，然后被红军征召入伍。那年晚些时候，他开始组织对苏联的叛乱，因为苏联人已经从立陶宛的解放者变成了占领者。苏联在翌年3月将他俘虏。他于1947年2月被处决，享年36岁。

Transforming a Nazi collaborator into a national hero requires four steps of manipulation. One step shifts all the blame to the Nazis, even though my grandfather, like many Lithuanians, willingly participated in slaughtering Jews. The second step creates a victim narrative, asking how a Jew killer could be sent to a Nazi concentration camp. The third step discredits counternarratives by labeling them as Communist propaganda told by enemies of the state. The final step refuses to accept that two seemingly contradictory truths can coexist: Noreika bravely fought against the Communists and shamefully participated in killing Jews.

将纳粹合作者转变为民族英雄需要四个篡改步骤。
第一步，将所有责任归罪于纳粹，即使我的外祖父像许多立陶宛人一样自愿参加了对犹太人的屠杀。
第二步，创造一个受害者形象，质问一个杀戮犹太人的人怎么会被送进纳粹集中营。
第三步，诋毁与宣传相左的叙事，称其是国家敌人进行的共产主义宣传。
最后一步，拒绝接受两个看似矛盾的真相能够共存：我的外祖父勇敢地抗击苏联，同时参与了杀害犹太人的可耻勾当。

After researching his life for the past 20 years, I’ve dared to call my grandfather a Nazi even though he never officially joined the party. He worked with the Nazis, acted like them, was paid by them, hated Jews like them and, like them, facilitated torture and murder.

在花了20年研究他的生活后，我把我的外祖父称为纳粹，即使他从未正式加入该党。他与纳粹一起工作，以他们的方式行事，得到了他们的报酬，像他们一样憎恨犹太人，并像他们一样，促成了酷刑和杀戮。

Did Lithuanian officials actively hide the truth because it would make the country look bad? Or were they in genuine denial in a democracy too fragile to face its own history? Unfortunately, this isn’t just about my grandfather. He is a microcosm of the entire national story, and that national story echoes across Eastern Europe.

立陶宛官员积极掩盖真相，是因为真相会让这个国家颜面尽失？或者他们是真的拒绝接受，他们的民主制度脆弱到无法面对自己的历史？不幸的是，这不仅仅是关于我的外祖父。他是整个民族故事的缩影，而这样的民族故事在东欧各地回荡。

The passage of time has created the space to speak about the truth, but also increased the urgency of doing so before remaining memories fade and another generation passes. Analysis of a dark past is always traumatic. But we will never achieve clarity and healing if we base our history on lies. Although later generations might not know the details, they will still experience the emotional pain passed down from parent to child to grandchild.

时间的流逝创造了谈论真相的空间，但同时也增加了紧迫性，历史的真相正在消失，又一代人将要离去。对黑暗过去的分析总是很痛苦的。但是，如果我们的历史以谎言为基础，我们将永远无法获得澄清和治愈。尽管后代可能不知道细节，但他们仍然会经历由父母传给孩子再传给孙子的情感痛苦。

I have made my peace with my grandfather. I have vowed to reveal his crimes by giving witness to the truth, and I have vowed to try to correct Lithuania’s memory of the Holocaust, in part by asking for honors bestowed on him to be stripped. This can lead to reconciliation between Lithuanians and Jews as we remember what happened and learn from it to ensure it never happens again. Perhaps acknowledging this truth will allow Lithuanians to have a healthier national identity and a pride in our poetry, our language, our food — but not our dark past.

我已经重新接纳我的外祖父。我发誓要通过挖掘真相来揭露他的罪行，并发誓要纠正立陶宛对大屠杀的记忆，部分剥夺他获得的荣誉。当我们记住发生的事情并从中吸取教训以确保不再发生时，可能会促成立陶宛人与犹太人之间和解。也许承认这一事实将使立陶宛人拥有更健康的民族认同，并为我们的诗歌、语言、食物感到自豪——而不是我们的黑暗的过去。

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处