如果你长得很丑，那么你生活的意义何在？

Edwin Trench, former Project Procurement Manager at Jacobs (1989-2018) Jacobs前项目采购经理（1989-2018）

You live to learn, grow, enjoy life, persevere and do what fills your soul and fulfills your dreams! Now, how do you go about this?
You face your life, take the decision to move on, and do it!

你活着是为了学习，获得成长，享受生活，坚持不懈，去做那些充实你灵魂的事情，能够帮助完成梦想的事情，这样的话，你应该怎么做呢？
你应该直面自己的生活，决定继续前进，然后去做就对了！

There are many people whose most fundamental needs are lacking, like the terminally ill or the desperately poor who obviously find it quite difficult to find happiness. Even so I personally have found people in that condition that attained happiness. A very recent case comes to mind of a young girl in her twenties that ended up a quadriplegic, who lost even the capability of using her hands. To make a long story short, she turned her life around, is an example to everybody who meets her, she is planning a trip to New York with a group of friends and another one to climb a mountain! She smiles and laughs and gives thanks every day for being alive. She took her family upon her shoulders, who were devastated with her situation, and you don’t even have to ask her…she shines with happiness!

有许多人最基本的需求都难以满足，例如身患绝症或绝望的穷人，他们显然很难找到幸福。即便如此，我仍然发现处于这种状态的人也获得了幸福。我想到了一个最近的例子，一个二十多岁的年轻女孩四肢瘫痪了，甚至丧失了使用双手的能力。简而言之，她改变了自己的生活，每个见过她的人都可以以她为榜样，她计划与一群朋友和另一个人一起去纽约旅行，爬山！她非常乐观，感恩活着的每一天。她的家人都为她的处境感到沮丧，但她扛起了整个家，你都不需要去询问她，都可以看到她闪耀着幸福的光芒！

Please remember that life is a decision, and you decide what to do with your life! If you want life to be over for you, that's what will happen, for indirectly that is what you have decided. If you decide to move on, do something with your life, then you will find out that no matter what your circumstances, you have choices, alternatives and a very good chance at being happy.
So please review your life, your capabilities, your passions, your abilities and find out what moves your boat...and follow it! The most poor, ugly, hated and disabled are not physically so, they are morally so, and you are not! Take your decisions in life and don't let life take them for, or from you!

请记住，生活是选择，而你可以决定选择怎么样生活！如果你希望你的生活结束，那这就是必然的结果，因为间接的决定也是你自己决定的。如果你决定继续前进，想要做点什么，那么你会发现，无论你遇到什么情况，你都有选择和备选，并且有机会获得快乐。
因此，请回顾你的生活，能耐，激情，能力，并找出推动你前进的动力，并且好好利用你的动力，最贫穷，最丑陋，最讨厌和残疾人并不是在身体上是这样，而是在道德上他们是这样。但你不是这样的。你需要把握主动权，在生活中做出决定，不要让生活为你做主，

Start by smiling, by being helpful, by showing who you are and what you are...you will come to realize people in the long run do not see your failures, your ugliness or your pain...they see the person behind (or in front, where you should be) of those facts, and react accordingly!
Fix yourself up (cleanliness is next to godliness), always smile (a smile makes a person beautiful!), open up, help people out, be there when people need help, give, be supportive, and people will see the real you, the smiling, clean, positive, helpful and fighting one, not the underdog, depressed, ugly one. In fact over time everybody will forget the one you think you are! Why? Because you will also have forgotten (or at least come to terms with it)...and moved on!
Please take a shot at it and see how it works, believe me, it does!

从微笑开始，帮助别人，展示自己开始，从长远来看，你会意识到人们看不到你的失败，丑陋或痛苦，他们看到的是背后的这个人，而不是表象，他们看到的是实质，并做出相应反应！
好好打扮自己（清洁是虔诚的基础），一直微笑（微笑会使人变得美丽！），敞开心扉，帮助别人，帮助需要帮助的人，给予帮助，给予支持，别人会看到真实的你，一个乐观，干净，积极，乐于助人和上进的人，而不是柔弱，沮丧，丑陋的人。实际上，随着时间的流逝，每个人都会忘记你眼中的自己！为什么？因为你也会忘记，或者你已经接受了这个结果，然后继续前进！
请尝试一下，看看这样会带来什么样的结果，相信我，结果肯定是好的。
James Rosselli, Rector, St. Joseph of Arimathea Orth. Church 阿瑞玛蒂亚·奥斯特的圣约瑟夫教堂，教区牧师。

But, let’s say you are.
So what?
We all want to be beautiful, thin and rich. Why? Because we spend time worrying about what other people might (and probably don’t) think, that would be better spent developing our talents and making a positive contribution, and getting satisfaction out of that.
Mother Theresa was no beauty queen, and she changed the world. We can’t all be Mother Theresa, but we can uplift our immediate environment.
What we want or would prefer, and what we have, are sometimes very different things. But if we can learn to be who we are, we can turn what we have to very good effect.

你真的很丑吗？这是事实吗？还是只有你有这种感觉？好的，假设你是真的丑。
那又怎么样呢？
我们都想变得美丽，苗条又有钱。这是为什么呢？因为我们花太多时间担心别人会（可能不会）怎么想，其实我们最好花时间发展我们的才能并做出积极的贡献，并从中获得满足感。
特蕾莎修女也不是选美皇后，但是她改变了世界。我们不可能全都是特蕾莎修女，但是我们可以改善我们的眼前的环境。
我们想要什么，或者我们更喜欢的东西，以及我们所拥有的东西，有时是完全不同的东西。但是，如果我们能够学会成为自己，我们就能使我们所拥有的一切都能发挥非常好的效果。

The other parts of the merged question dealt with feeling horrible and worthless.
The thing is, you aren’t worthless. God made you deliberately, and for a purpose. When you discover and pursue that purpose, you won’t feel horrible, anymore.
The thing is, you’ll never discover it trying to play by the secular world’s rules. All they’ll do is make you feel worse. Invest your life in Christ, and He’ll lead you to where He put you here to go. You’ll have a whole new life—the one you’re supposed to have—which is neither ugly nor worthless, and certainly not horrible.
If you want, feel free to write me at: frjames@arimatheachurch.com.

问题的另一部分就是如何处理觉得糟糕以及毫无价值的感觉。
问题是，你并非一文不值。上帝让你来到这个世界上，是有目的的。当你发现并追求这一目标时，你就不会再感到糟糕了。
事实是，你会发现生活从来都不会试图按照世俗世界的规则进行游戏。他们要做的就是让你感到更糟。上帝带你来到这个世界，他会带你去你应该去的地方，你将拥有一种全新的生活，即应该拥有的生活，你既不丑陋也不是一文不值，当然也不可怕。
如果有需要的话，请随时给我写信：frjames@arimatheachurch.com。
Adrian Smith, Corporate Security企业安全专家

The purpose is to do whatever you have to do to become pretty so that you can have an easy life, access better jobs, better partners(less likely to cheat on you or use you for money), more friends, more fun… Work out. Yes, first 3 months suck. A lot. Afterwards it becomes pleasant. Grow your hair and style it. Wear thick insoles to be taller. Use glasses if you have some eye defects. You may consider cosmetic surgery if you have the stomach for it.
I mean… you owe it to yourself to do whatever is needed to actually enjoy life. Everybody else will give you lip service, but they won't help. They're actually happy you're ugly - less competition, someone to feel superior to… stuff like that.

你的目标是用尽一切手段变得漂亮起来，这样你就可以过上轻松的生活，获得更好的工作，更好的合作伙伴（不太可能欺骗你或者利用你赚钱），更多的朋友，更多的乐趣等等等，坚持锻炼，是的，前三个月很难坚持，坚持一段时间之后，锻炼这件事情变得令人愉快。你可以留长头发并且做发型，穿高跟鞋可以变得更高一点。如果眼睛有缺陷，那就戴眼镜。如果你有想法的话，可以考虑进行整容。
我的意思是，你可以做所有需要做的事情来真正享受生活，其他所有人都会为你提供口头服务，但没有实质上的帮助，他们实际上对你的丑陋感到高兴。就意味着对他来说竞争减少了，他们更喜欢这样。

Lisa Mccutchen
You only have two choices either live or not live , you sound like you don’t want to die but can’t find whatever it Is to stay alive!!you need purpose and a good therapist because god doesn’t make mistakes which means he doesn’t think you are worthless, I believe we are here for a reason because death doesn’t make sense why small children die or why really bad things happen to really good people , I think it’s to learn something for someone, done get it done don’t , when I feel like you I find someone who had things way worse than me and it gives me perspective in knowing my life isn’t so bad, there are people out there with horrible problems , you get out of life what you put into it, life is short and death is forever, it’s a weird thing to think about but you have the control to make changes and make it better , one day at a time ! Please try ! I know you can !

你只有两种选择，要么活着，要么死去，听起来你并不想要死去，但找不到能够支撑你活着的东西！你需要一个目标和一个好的医生，因为上帝不会犯错，这意味着他不认为你一文不值，我相信我们在这里是有原因的，因为死亡并没有道理可言，不然为什么小孩子会死或为什么真好人会发生真正的坏事，我认为这是为了让某人学习某事，该完成的事情就不要拖延，当我觉得你发现某人的事情比我差的时候，让你感觉你的生活还不是很糟糕，你所拥有的生活就是你为生活投入的生活的总和，生命是短暂的，但是死亡却是永恒的，这是一件很奇怪的事情，但你拥有控制权，一次一天地做出改变并且让生活变得更好！请尝试 ！我知道你可以 ！
Chetna Chauhan, Research scholar, IIM Rohtak IIM Rohtak研究学者

1. How do you define “ugly?”
2. Is your definition a perferct one?
3. If it’s not, then why worry about it?
4. Let’s assume the definition to be perfect. Do the people who think that you are ugly, matter?
5. In case they matter, do they love you?
6. If they don’t love you then why do you care? Haters will anyway hate you.
7. If they love you they will find you beautiful. Right?
Hope this set of questions gives you the answer.

1.你是怎么样定义“丑陋”的？
2.你的定义是否恰当？
3.如果不是，那为什么还要担心呢？
4.假设定义是完美的。 那些认为你丑陋的人真的很重要吗？
5.万一他们重要，他们爱你吗？
6.如果他们不爱你，那你为什么要在乎呢？ 讨厌你的人还是会讨厌你的。
7.如果他们爱你，他们会发现你很美丽。不是吗？
希望这一系列问题能给你答案。
Jessee Beighley, I have a knack for understanding perspectives so I can normally see both sides 我有一种理解观点的诀窍，所以我通常能看到问题的两面性

If you die then you know what happens and that is nothing. However if you choose to live and try to meet people that are similar to you and open yourself to the idea of success and being in a relationship then it is very likely that it will happen. The only thing that can truly prevent you from success is yourself so don’t worry so much and just go for what you want.
Living means you have free access to an almost infinite amount of opportunities and possibilities. That has nothing to do with looks it is true for everyone. All you need to do is to look for them.

如果你死了，你就知道会发生什么，那你会发现什么都没有。然而，如果你选择试着去认识与你相似的人，并且去努力追求成功，尝试建立一段关系，那么成功很可能会发生。唯一能真正阻止你成功的是你自己，所以不要太担心，只管去做你想要的。生活意味着你可以自由获得几乎无限的机会和可能性。这与外表无关，对每个人来说都是这样。你要做的就是去找他们。
Tyrone Mullins, Retired Military 退休军人

You are a valuable person who is on the earth for a purpose. You have to decide what makes you happy , find a goal that can help you get over your feelings about your lack of worth. Looks are deceiving and being ugly is in the eyes of the beholder. If you don't want to waste your time on your negatives, seek helpfrom atherapist . You have some underlying causes for these attitudes, and its never too late to better yourself. Good luck!

你是一个有价值的人，每个人来到这个地球上，都是有原因的，你必须知道让自己感到快乐的原因，找到可以帮助你克服对自己缺乏价值的感觉的目标。外表是骗人的，丑陋是旁观者眼中的丑恶，如果你不想在悲观情绪上浪费时间，请寻求治疗师的帮助。你有这些态度存在一些潜在原因，还有要改善自己永远都不会太晚。 祝好运！
Robberto van Dijk, lived in Amsterdam住在阿姆斯特丹

Girls always desire the alpha male who is a handsome m***fokkers nowadays with a big wallet and huge c*ck. Sorry guys if you do not have one of these three features life is getting really difficult nowadays. Even ugly girls will look away and will hope you to move along asap. This is the era of the women who are making the decisions and are in charge right now. Unfortunately we depend on them - hence the big amount of singles these days. Only way out is to become rich guys. We have to deal with spoiled picky ladies these days unlike our old men. I really envy those guys and the times they lived in. Sometimes, I wish I was one of them, life was so much easier back then.

女孩们总是希望男生是英俊潇洒的，有钱有大cock。抱歉，如果你没有，那么如今的生活将变得越来越困难。即使是丑陋的女孩也不会正眼看过来，希望你尽快行动起来。这是现在由妇女来做决定和掌控的时代。不幸的是，我们依赖她们，如今有大量的单身人士，唯一的出路就是成为有钱人。这些天，我们必须面对与我们这些老男人不同的娇生惯养的挑剔女人。我真的很羡慕那些家伙和他们生活的时代。有时候，我希望我是其中的一员，那样的生活要轻松得多。
Jion Hynzie Tacsan, works at NCR在NCR工作

Just because you are ugly doesn't mean you can't live your life the way you want it to be. And besides, you're discriminating yourself. You're in a self-pity situation as of the moment as you ask this question. It's only on your own point of view that you are ugly. No one is ugly in this world because the real beauty doesn't lie on your face and your physical attributes. Just because you are different doesn't mean you're an outcast to this world. That means you are unique. I am not beautiful nor pretty nor sexy but I love myself and I am proud to say that I am unique in my own way and confidently beautiful in my heart.

如果你只是丑陋并不意味着你就无法按照自己的方式生活。而且，这是你自己在歧视自己。当你问这个问题时，你目前处于自卑状态。丑陋只是出于你自己的观点。这个世界上没有人是丑陋的，因为真正的美并不在于你的脸和你的身体素质。 仅仅因为你与众不同并不意味着你就被这个世界抛弃了。那意味着你是独一无二的。我既不美丽，也不漂亮，也不性感，但我爱自己，我很自豪地说自己与众不同，我内心是充满自信的。
Vaughan Schmidt, always learning一直在学习

Yes. Ok well no, it’s not the most painful. But it is pretty damn difficult.
Imagine a race, all the good looking folk get to start on the starting line, whereas all the ugly folk have to start 10, 20, 30 metres or more back, depending on how ugly they are. That race is modern society, and like it or not that is how modern society operates, in general. The ugly folk could still win or place, but they must try that much harder. Whereas the good looking folk have a head-start simply by virtue of being good looking. Some examples: If two people - one ugly, one good looking - with exactly the same personality and experience apply for the same front-of-house job at a restaurant, or tourist attraction, who do you think will get it? How about modelling? Seen any ugly models around lately? Unique perhaps, but not ugly. Ever hear the expression ‘He’s got a good face for radio’? Another example: Susan Boyle. When she first walked onto that stage, she was looked at with derision by the judges and audience alike. Why? Because she’s ugly. It wasn’t until she opened her mouth that everyone changed their tune, no pun intended.
Look, I’m sorry, I know this answer is not politically correct, and I should be all with the “It’s how you are on the inside that counts!! Sunshine and rainbows! Yay!!”.
that is not what I have experienced or observed in life, IN GENERAL. There are of course exceptions.

不，这不是最痛苦的。但这确实很难。
想象一下一场比赛，所有好看的人都可以从起跑线开始，而所有丑陋的人都必须从后面10、20、30米或更远处开始，具体取决于他们的丑陋程度。这个种族就是现代社会，不管喜欢与否，这就是现代社会的运作方式。丑陋的人仍然可以获胜或占有一席之地，但他们必须更加努力。而好看的人只是因为好看而拥有领先优势。例如：如果有两个人，一个长得丑，一个长得好看，个性和经验完全相同的人在餐馆或旅游胜地申请相同的前台工作，你认为谁会得到这份工作？再来说说模特？你最近有没有看到丑陋的模特？也许独特，但并不难看。是否曾经听说过“你长了一张很适合广播的脸”这样的表达方式？另一个例子：苏珊·博伊尔（Susan Boyle）。当她第一次走进舞台时，评委和听众都嘲笑她。为什么？因为她很丑。直到她张开嘴，每个人都改变了态度，没有双关。
听着，我感到很抱歉，我知道这个答案在政治上是不正确的，我应该说“重要的是你的内在！！阳光和彩虹！好极了！！”。这并不是我一生中经历或观察到的。当然也有例外。

Sarah Lee
I’ve been ugly my whole life. Sure, it sucks. Plenty of things about it suck.
People assume the worst of you because you are ugly. No one cares about your input in school projects as they literally think you are too stupid to contribute. Going to clubs, going to beaches, going outside. Nasty looks everywhere. You don’t get to enjoy life carefree like some other people do.
But I honestly think it could be worst. I know there are plenty of things I would rather not deal with if I had to trade. I think that people often think of things as “the grass is greener on the other side” because they don’t really think much of what the other side entails. Being confined to a wheelchair and being dependent on places having some sort of accommodation for you. “Oh, this building has no access for me! Oh Joy! NOT!” Being in extreme physical pain all the time. Various health issues.

我一生都很丑。当然，这是非常糟糕的。关于它的很多东西都糟透了。
人们会认为你最糟糕，因为你很难看。没有人关心你在学校项目中的投入，因为他们从字面上认为你太愚蠢而无法做出贡献。去俱乐部，去海滩，去户外。到处都是讨厌的东西。你无法像其他人一样享受无忧无虑的生活。
但老实说，这可能是最糟糕的。我知道，如果必须交易，我有很多事情我不愿意处理。我认为人们经常认为另一面的世界是完美的，因为他们并没有真正考虑另一面真正的的含义。只能坐在轮椅上，并要依赖为你提供某种住宿的地方。“哦，这栋楼对我来说是无法进入的！噢，乔！不！”一直处于极度的身体疼痛中。还遇到了各种健康问题。

I mean, at the end of the day, you can easily go to the woods away from humanity and pretty much all your ugly issues are solved. You can’t really escape from a lot of health issues.
I don’t know, but I’m the ugliest person I know. Easily. And most days I’m fairly happy. The issue has always been my interactions with other people. So, if I could choose, I may very well choose to be ugly my whole life again. Except I would have spent more energy towards never spending (physical) time with other people. Which is really what I do already, so….

我的意思是，归根结底，你可以轻松地远离人类走到树林，几乎所有的丑陋问题都得到解决。但是你还是无法摆脱许多健康问题。
我不知道，但我是我知道的最丑的人。而且大多数日子我都很开心。问题在于我与其他人的互动。因此，如果我可以选择的话，我很可能会选择做一辈子丑八怪。除非我本来就可以花更多的精力来避免与其他人共度时间。我确实已经在做这件事。

Anonymous
Despite all that “beauty lies within” stuff you may hear people say, knowing you’re not physically appealing isn’t such a great feeling - especially when you know no one will even bother to ‘butter it up’ and tell you that you look attractive simply because they know it’d be a very ugly lie which you’d see through straight away (pun intended).

尽管你可能会听到人们说“内在美”，但是知道自己身体上没有吸引力并不是一种很好的感觉，尤其是当你知道没有人会费心去“拍马屁”并告诉你你看起来很有魅力，是因为他们知道这是一个非常丑陋的谎言，你会很快看穿。

When I was something like 7 or 8 years old I would almost shed tears watching some R & B artist (who was honestly REALLY good-looking) perform - I wondered why I didn’t look as good as he did. Of course I was a kid then, but when I was something like 14 I observed older unappealing people and realized how much waste of life it would be to keep from living life simply because you’re not good-looking.

当我大概7、8岁的时候，看着某个R&B的艺术家（他真的很帅）的表演，我几乎会流泪——我不知道为什么我看起来没有他那么好。当然，那时我还是个孩子，但在我14岁左右的时候，我观察到了年纪较大、没有吸引力的人，意识到仅仅因为你长得不好看而想要摆脱生活是多么浪费生命。

I simply said “Fuck it, I won’t wait until I look good to start living life! Heck, Danny Trejo’s face looks like shit but even he’s more famous & successful than I am.”
So, no - being ugly isn’t the most painful way to live. Life get’s a whole lot better when you finally decide “Well, things can’t get much worse than this.”

我只是简单地说“去他妈的，我不会等到我看起来好了才开始生活的！见鬼，丹尼·特雷乔的脸看起来像狗屎，但就连他也比我更出名、更成功。”
所以，丑陋不是最痛苦的。当你最终决定“好吧，事情不会变得更糟”时，生活会变得更好

Qing Li Archer
Being ugly on the inside (i.e. your personality and the way you treat people) is the most painful way to live. Because then it doesn’t matter if you’re a magazine-worthy-model type of beautiful. People will like you for your beauty, but once they get to know you, they’ll either keep you around because of your outer beauty & secretly hate you for your inner ugly or they’ll drop you really fast.

内在丑陋（即你的性格和对待人的方式非常丑）那样活着才痛苦，因为那样的话，你是不是杂志类的美女模特就没关系了。人们会为你的美丽而喜欢你，但是一旦认识你，他们要么会因为你的外在美而把你留在身边，然后暗中讨厌你内在的丑陋，要么他们会很快抛弃你。

Being ugly on the outside (i.e. physical looks) doesn’t have to twist how you look on the inside. Some of the most beautiful people I know are considered ‘ugly’ on the outside, but then when I’m feeling down and they want to cheer me up they can give the most beautiful smile because they actually mean it.

外表丑陋（即外表看起来）不必改变内在外观。我认识的一些最美丽的人在外面被认为是“丑陋”的，但是当我心情低落并想让我振作起来时，他们可以给我最美丽的笑容，因为他们是很真诚的。