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The COVID-19 pandemic is a global crisis. Hundreds of thousands of people have died, millions have lost their jobs and millions of children are out of school. Parents, teachers and therapists have deep concerns about the toll this could have on children of all ages now and down the road. It’s hard to see any bright spots.

新冠病毒大流行是一场全球危机。数万人死亡,几百万人失去了工作,数百万儿童无法上学。家长、教师和心理治疗师都非常担心,这可能会对各个年龄段的孩子在现在和将来都造成严重影响,很难看到任何亮点。

But here’s one: Mental health experts say our kids could come out of this crisis with some pretty powerful life skills and tools for getting through hard stuff. That’s not to sugarcoat how tragic this has been and will be for many families. But it is a reminder of the kind of learning that can come through pain and adversity.

但现在有一个亮点:心理健康专家说,我们的孩子可能会学会一些相当强大并度过难关的生活技能和工具后走出这场危机。这并不是要粉饰许多家庭已经或者将来有多悲惨。而是要提醒我们,这种学习可以渡过痛苦和逆境。

“It’s a terrible time that we are in,” psychologist Ron Stolberg, a professor at Alliant International University and author of “Teaching Kids to Think,” told HuffPost. “But it’s also an opportunity for kids to learn they have tremendous capacity to overcome adversity.”

心理学家罗恩·斯托尔伯格,同时也是阿联特国际大学教授、《教孩子思考》一书的作者,在接受《赫芬顿邮报》采访时表示:“我们所处的时代很糟糕。但这也是一个机会,可以让孩子们明白他们有强大的能力克服逆境。”

Here are four powerful life skills kids could take away from the coronavirus pandemic, and some pretty quick and simple strategies to help them get there.

以下是孩子们可以从冠状病毒大流行中学习的四种强大的生活技能,以及一些非常快速和简单、能帮助他们达到目标的策略。

Lesson #1: How to live with uncertainty.

第一课:如何在不确定中生活。

In a matter of months, kids’ worlds have been totally upended by COVID-19. They don’t go to school or daycare, they don’t see friends, and in many cases, they can’t even really go outside. None of the grown-ups in their lives can give them any answers about how or when this will all end, because everything is uncertain.

在几个月的时间里,新冠病毒已经彻底颠覆了孩子们的世界。他们不用去学校或日托所,也不去看朋友,在很多情况下,甚至不能真正出门。在他们的生活中,没有一个成年人能给他们关于这一切将会如何或何时结束的答案,因为一切都不确定。

But learning to live with discomfort and uncertainty is part of becoming a “developmentally healthy” adult, said Nicholas Westers, a pediatric psychologist with Children’s Health and an associate professor at UT Southwestern, told HuffPost.

但是学会面对不舒服和不确定是成为“成长健康”的成年人的一部分,尼古拉斯·韦斯特尔斯告诉《赫芬顿邮报》,他是一名儿童健康方面的儿科心理学家,同时也是德克萨斯大学西南分校的副教授。

How you can help: Rather than trying to give your kiddo a clear answer about what comes next, be honest about the fact that there is a lot we do not know. If you have a toddler or preschool-age kid at home, explain that doctors are working to find medicine that will help us all be healthy and could allow life to go back to normal, Stolberg said.

如何帮助他们:不要试图给孩子明确的答案,告诉他接下来会发生什么,而是要诚实面对事实,即还有很多东西我们不了解。斯托尔贝格说,如果你家里有蹒跚学步的孩子或学龄前儿童,要向他们解释医生正在努力寻找一种药物来帮助所有人保持健康,并让生活恢复正常。

With older kids, you can be more candid. Ask them about what they think is happening in the world right now, then tell them what you know — and what you don’t. Promise you will continue talking about what comes next as things continue to change and progress.

对于更大一点的孩子,你可以更坦诚。问问他们对现在世界上正在发生的事情的看法,然后告诉他们你知道的和你不知道的。并承诺你会继续和他们谈论接下来发生的事情,因为事情会继续变化和发展。

Lesson #2: How to be resilient.

第二课:如何才能有适应力。

While there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that some kids are struggling right now — and that absolutely should not be dismissed — experts say that children are remarkably resilient. This is a great time for parents to help kids tap into that, and to appreciate their own abilities to bounce back.

尽管有大量传闻性的证据表明,一些孩子现在正在挣扎——这绝对不应该被忽视——但专家们表示,孩子们的适应能力非常强。这是一个伟大的时刻,父母帮助孩子利用适应能力,并赞赏他们重新振作的能力。

“I think it’s important to say that most children are going to be OK,” said Westers. “Children and teenagers are resilient.”

韦斯特尔斯说:“我认为有必要说大多数孩子都会没事。儿童和青少年的适应力很强。”

How you can help: “Allow room for their discomfort,” Westers urged. One way of doing that is simply to acknowledge (in an age-appropriate way, of course) that you are also feeling stress or fear. Then “model coping,” he said. Do you walk? Practice deep breathing? Talk to friends? Invite them to join you. Bonus: You’ll force yourself to actually do a bit of self-care.

如何帮助他们:“要为他们的不适应留出空间,”韦斯特尔斯敦促道。这样做的一个方法就是直接承认(当然是以一种与年龄相适应的方式)你也感到了压力或恐惧。然后是“模范应对,”他说。你散步吗?练习深呼吸吗?跟朋友聊天吗?邀请他们加入你。好处:你会强迫自己做一些自我保健。

Reinforcing your kiddos’ problem-solving skills can also help foster resiliency.

加强孩子解决问题的能力也会有助于培养他们的适应能力。

“When there is a dilemma or a question, instead of answering it, it’s a great time to ask our kids to tell us what they’re thinking,” Stolberg said. “It may be the first time in a long time that we’ve had the time to sit down and really observe our children’s thinking processes and problem-solving skills.”

斯托尔伯格说:“当孩子们遇到困境或有疑问问题时,相较于回答他们,不如让他们谈一谈自己在想什么。可能这是很长一段时间以来我们第一次有时间坐下来真正地去观察孩子们的思考过程和解决问题的能力。”

If your kid tells you they’re sad or lonely, perhaps ask what they think a good coping strategy is, rather than immediately jumping in with a suggestion. Give them a chance to think on their own, Stolberg said, and to use you as a sounding board.

如果孩子告诉你他们感到悲伤或孤独,也许可以先问问他们认为怎样才是好的应对策略,而不是立即给出建议。斯托尔贝格说,给他们一个独立思考的机会,并把你当作顾问。

Lesson #3: That they are so much more than school and extracurriculars.

第三课:还有很多学习和课外活动之外的事。

“One of the really fun things I’m seeing with older kids is that many of them have had ideas of things they wanted to learn or do that they’ve never really had the time for,” Stolberg said. “Our teenagers are over-scheduled. They don’t have downtime or playtime anymore. Now they have plenty of it.” In the past few weeks, he has heard stories of tweens and teens who have taken up the guitar, or who have tried cooking for the first time.

“我从稍大的孩子身上看到的一个非常有趣的现象是,他们中的很多人都有自己想学或想做但之前从未真正有时间去做的事。”斯托尔伯格说,“青少年的日程安排得过满。他们不再有休息或娱乐的时间。现在他们有了很多时间。在过去的几周里,他已经听说了有十几岁的孩子们开始学吉他或者首次尝试烹饪。

It’s not about self-improvement. It’s about making sure your kid recognizes they have time and space to reconnect with who they are outside of school and their usual routines.

这不是关于自我提升。而是为了确保你的孩子意识到他们有时间和空间来重新认识校外和日常生活之外的自己。

How you can help: Talk with your kid about what they’d like to be doing more of, then be prepared to get into their chosen hobbies with them — even if that means playing Fortnite, Westers said. If they don’t necessarily have a ton of ideas about what they’d like to do, think about some simple things you can do together, like playing a board game or making a meal together.

如何提供帮助:和孩子谈谈他们更想做的事情,然后准备好和他们共同培养这种爱好——即使这意味着要玩《堡垒之夜》,韦斯特尔斯说。如果他们对自己想做什么没有太多想法,就想一些你们可以一起做的简单事情,比如玩棋盘游戏或一起做饭。

Then tell them how happy you are to have that time together, and how much you value your connection with them.

然后告诉他们同他们在一起的时你是多么快乐,你多么珍视和他们的联系。

Lesson #4: How important their role is in your family.

第四课:他们的角色在家庭中有多重要

When everyone is busy rushing out the door to work or school, your kid may lose sight of their own role in the household. Now is a good time to make it clear that your family — whatever shape it might take — is a team, and they are an essential part of it.

当每个人都冲出家门忙着去上班或上学时,你的孩子可能不清楚自己在家庭中的角色。现在是个好时机让他们知道你的家人是一个团队,而他们是团队的重要组成部分。

“You’re teaching them that they’re partly responsible for the family getting through this,” Stolberg said.

斯托尔伯格说:“你是在教给他们,自己对全家渡过此次疫情也负有部分责任。”

How you can help: If you’ve got little ones at home, ask them to help you sweeping, or cleaning up toys, or other simple chores. You might have to redo it, but you’re setting a precedent. They are a part of the team.

如何帮助他们:如果你家里孩子较小,让他们帮你扫地、清理玩具或其他简单的家务。你可能得重做一遍,但你正在开先例。他们也是团队的一部分。

If you’ve got older kids, now is a good time to give them more responsibility around the house than you might otherwise. Let them set their own alarm clocks. Give them chances to make their own meals. Make sure they’re taking out the trash or cleaning up around the house. Give them important roles at home.

如果你的孩子稍大些,现在是让他们比之前承担更多家务的好时机。让他们设定自己的闹钟。让他们有给自己做饭的机会。确保他们把倒垃圾或打扫房子周围。让他们扮演家里的重要角色。

“Reinforce how helpful they are and important they are to the family,” Stolberg said.
“要强调他们的帮助家庭有多重要,”斯托尔伯格说。