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-------------译者:roroho-审核者:龙腾翻译总管------------



OhmicPantograph
Not trolling but trying to understand and didn't know where else to ask this...

不是为了挑事,而是想试着去理解且不知道还能去哪里问这个问题........

After another odd experience spending time with a white male/Chinese female couple my husband and I were wondering about the nature of the cross cultural relationships that we see here.

在又一段与白人男性/中国女性夫妇的奇特经历之后,我和丈夫开始思考我们在这里看到的跨文化关系的本质。

We're both western and during our 5 years in China we've spent time with other foreigners and their Chinese partners. Almost all of these relationships seem to be characterized by both parties adopting these strange roles where the guy is almost paternal in the way he speaks to his girlfriend/wife. Talking down to her in an infantalizing way with the tone of a father or at least how an adult would speak to a child.

我们俩都是西方人,在中国的5年里,我们常和其他外国人以及他们的中国伴侣聚在一起玩。在这些关系中双方都表现出了奇怪的角色设定,男性对他的女朋友/妻子说话的方式几乎就像是父亲一样。以一种对待幼儿的父亲般的口吻跟她说话,或者至少是成年人对小孩子的那种说话方式。

The girls play this obedient role and play up the whole 撒娇 thing. Western men often seem to speak for their partners or cajole them into saying something (or even eating/drinking something if we're in that kind of setting). Again like a parent telling their child to speak up or eat their dinner/make sure they have something to drink.

女性们扮演的是顺从听话的角色,还常常玩玩撒娇的把戏。西方男人通常会替他们的伴侣说或者哄着她们来说某些事情(在那种情况下甚至是吃东西或喝东西这种事也要这样做)。再次重申,就像老爸老妈叫他们的孩子大声说话或把晚饭吃了/确保他们有喝的东西。

Additionally this is often coupled the with man being really touchy-feely with quite possessive touching and body language. It's quite uncomfortable for me to witness at times.

而且在这些夫妇/伴侣中通常都是男方非常腻腻歪歪的,且占有欲很强通过肢体语言宣誓所有权。有的时候亲眼目睹这些会让我觉得很不舒服。

This doesn't seem to change if the guy is fresh off the boat or if he's been here for many years. One western colleague grew up here and we thought that might result in a different dynamic but he and his wife are exactly the same. It actually makes us feel uncomfortable spending time with them.

不管男方是初来乍到中国还是已经在中国待了很多年,这种(腻歪的现象)丝毫不见改变。我有一位西方同事是在这里(中国)长大的,然后我们就想这应该会有些不一样吧,结果他和他的妻子也完全是这种情况。跟他们聚在一起时这真的是让我们觉得很不舒服。

These often seem like really imbalanced frankly unfulfilling relationships. Nobody seems particularly happy or in love in the way that perhaps couples in our home country do. Is it purely a physical thing for most couples? Is that enough?

这些通常看起来像是不平衡的关系,坦白讲是不令人称心满意的关系。看起来似乎没有哪一方会特别幸福,也没有人会像我们祖国的夫妻那样相爱。对大多数夫妻来说,这纯粹只是生理上的问题吗?那样(的关系)就足够了吗?